Sometimes the best defense is a good offense. Fight fire with fire, right? Especially if it comes to situations where you just know that a common sense dialogue is impossible.
Today’s story is a great illustration of this principle. It features a transgender dad who was “accused” of being trans in a Southern United States bar. Immediately, the dad turned the accusation against the belligerent patron, slamming him as an “agent of Satan” and getting him kicked out of the establishment to boot.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes the only way to teach someone a lesson is to get down to their level and throw their own words right in their face
Image credits: Ted Eytan (not the actual photo)
A child shared the story of their dad destroying a bigot in a bar by turning his own words against him
Image credits: u/WerdaVisla
Image credits: Victoria_Regen (not the actual photo)
When a random person the dad met in the restroom accused him of being trans, he started shouting at him for the false accusation, calling him Satan's agent to boot
Image credits: u/WerdaVisla
The dad wormed out of the situation so well that the harasser was kicked out of the bar while he got a free beer for his troubles
There is a certain type of person who just loves getting into others’ business. You know the person. They’re self-proclaimed drama lovers and not people to stand idly by when it’s happening.
They dive right into it.
The story’s antagonist, a random Southern U.S. man encountered in a bar, certainly seems to be one. According to the original poster (OP) WerdaVisla, her dad has been transgender for 45 years and is “the most passing person you've ever met.”
Just in case you’re unfamiliar with the term, in this case, “passing” means that they are perceived as the gender they identify as. Although the correctness of this term is debatable, as transgender people aren’t really passing but rather simply being who they are, but that’s a discussion for another day.
So the major question here is how that person even determined that OP’s dad is trans. Not only did he come to the assertion, but he also did that from a chance encounter with the dad in the bathroom.
I’m sure your mileage may vary but for me, personally, a public restroom visit is a world championship contest of how nonchalantly I can ignore the presence of people around me.
I don’t look them in the eye, I don’t talk to them, I don’t even think about them. It’s practically zen. But here we have a person who decided: “today I’m going to do some sleuthing about a random toilet stranger, with the express intent of finding out what their parts are.”
Perhaps the person should consider a career as a K-9, sniffing out dangerous materials where they shouldn’t be and perhaps even contributing something useful to society!
Not today, though.
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
If you weren’t aware, peeps from the U.S. South have a penchant for being polite. You may be asking: “but what does that have to do with the story?!” Well, according to an experiment gracefully dubbed the “a-hole experiment” researchers tested two groups of people: Northerners and Southerners.
They were informed that the experiment would consist of two parts. What they didn’t know is that while they were walking down a narrow corridor to the second part of the test, a person would walk by them, shoulder bump them, and then call them a… certain body part. You can fill in that blank.
Turns out that overall, Northerners, who aren’t known for being polite like the Southerners, were more amused by insult, while people from the South became far more angry.
This comes down to the fact that being overly polite has its downsides. It fosters a certain culture of honor, where you expect to be treated a certain way. When people deviate from that “way”, it means that they are actively disrespecting you or think less of you.
So this is how it happens that people from the North, who are more used to being called things and replying in kind, whether in jest or honestly, take these things less seriously. Inhabitants of the South, on the other hand, get a little spark in their eyes, ready to fight back and defend their honor, verbally or physically.
Who could forget the expression “bless your heart,” which is actually a stunning insult in the South, amounting to “what in the nine domains of the underworld is wrong with you, you fool?”
Image credits: Mehmet Suat Gunerli (not the actual photo)
Coming back to the story, this may illustrate where the “southern righteous fury” from the father comes from. If you dare insult someone there, expect retribution.
The dad knew what he was doing too. He knew the exact buttons to push that would turn the narrative in his favor, leading to the bigot getting what was coming to him – even if the method wasn’t traditional.
For more conventional tactics, the SPLC has an amazingly lengthy article about responding to everyday bigotry.
According to them, when you’re in public, you should always gauge your safety if you’re attempting to speak out against bigotry.
But if you’re safe and you don’t speak up, you’ll always have that “I should have said something” feeling. In public, allies are extremely important, to show harassers that their actions are despicable and that you support the victims. When you express yourself in favor of marginalized groups, you allow them to feel safer and even give others a chance to speak up as well, because there is always strength in numbers.
If you want more tips for combating bigotry, be sure to read that SPLC resource, because it’s truly extensive. Don’t forget to fight for your happiness and the wellbeing of others. Only by being proactive can we shape society towards the positive.
This story was posted 5 days ago as of writing this article and has collected a whopping 35 thousand upvotes, along with upwards of 800 comments. Many comments piped up about how they appreciated the offender being righteously clapped, just how he deserved it.
Share your stories about Southern politeness going wrong and your favorite instances of bigots getting wrecked in the comments below!
The commenters pretty much gave dad a standing ovation for dealing with a transphobe in the most unexpected of ways
