A new TikTok trend is tugging at heartstrings and making everyone reach for the tissue box. This time, it’s not a questionable stunt raising eyebrows among psychologists and parents, but rather a sweet, nostalgic gesture of affection from younger siblings to their older siblings who have left the nest.
People are sharing the “to-do lists of the youngest sibling.” That is, how their routines have changed since their older siblings moved out.
Highlights
- A new TikTok trend shows younger siblings' nostalgia after their older siblings move out.
- The emotional videos reflect how their routines have changed since their older brothers or sisters left.
- Some social media users expressed "older sibling guilt" seeing younger siblings left at home.
User @diaryofthesick’s to-do-list begins with “Wake up/eat breakfast alone” and “eat breakfast out of the bowl your sister made back in 2009.”
A social media trend called the "to-do list of the youngest sibling" is making people tear up
Image credits: aeeel1n
Then, @diaryofthesick calls their sister, but she says she’s busy, so they carry on with their day taking a nap where her bedroom used to be.
The user continues by walking the family dog and listening closely, as “the sound of our laughter still echoes through the streets we grew up on.”
Still missing their older sister, @diaryofthesick stares at her pictures on the walls, writing, “There are faces on them that haven’t entered this home in ages.”
@diaryofthesick remembers their older sibling again when it’s time to have dinner and their mother prepares too much food because she “hasn’t adjusted to portions since she left.”
The trend involves younger siblings sharing how their routines have changed since their older siblings moved out of the family home
Image credits: diaryofthesick
Image credits: diaryofthesick
“Back when you were kids, she’d scrape the peas onto your plate and you’d scrape the carrots onto hers,” the TikTok user writes.
Finally, @diaryofthesick calls their sister again at night, but this time she picks up.
The last step is to talk until the feeling of emptiness subsides, and repeat everything tomorrow.
The emotional video, shared in June, has garnered over 8.5 million views, with thousands of users sharing how their lives have changed since their older siblings left home.
The videos also resonated with many older siblings, who admitted to feeling "older sibling guilt" about leaving home
Image credits: uhmm_usernamehere
“Being the youngest sibling is lowkey depressing. I'm always seen as spoiled when all I wanted was my siblings' attention,” one commenter wrote.
“This but with my older brother, he stopped coming home for the summer this year because of an internship he took and it's so weird not having him to watch shows with or play games or go get food” another shared.
“The indescribable loneliness I had when all my siblings were out the house was insane, I've never felt more disconnected from life when I was growing up alone for the 1st time,” somebody else said.
Dr. Krystine Batcho, a professor of psychology at Le Moyne College in Syracuse, New York, who studies nostalgia, said that this feeling, in fact, is beneficial.
"It is helpful for the younger siblings to reminisce about the good times they enjoyed with their older siblings. Nostalgia can feel sad in the moment, but overall nostalgia is beneficial. Nostalgic memories remind the younger siblings that the bond with their older sibling is not broken by the physical distance,” the licensed psychologist told Bored Panda via email.
“Visits when possible are great; when visits aren't practical, staying in touch, even with brief messages or calls also sustains the feeling of being remembered."
Additionally, spaces and objects, such as photos, are important ways for younger children to connect with their older siblings
Image credits: tpwk.jessy
“It is also advisable to recognize that a young sibling might begin to wonder about their own new role in the family now that the older sibling is away," Dr. Batcho added.
"It's important to acknowledge a child's feelings of sadness or longing and reassure them that such feelings are to be expected. A parent can ask a child, "Does it make you feel better when you play in their room or wear their scarf, etc.?’
“Most helpful is making sure the younger sibling has opportunities to develop new skills and interests; keeping active with pursuits that distinguish the younger child from the older sibling is important.
“They need to understand their distinctive value as their own unique self. They are not a substitute for the one who moved away. Taking up a sport or activity can help them to grow into their own identity.“
The touching to-do list also resonated with older siblings, many of whom admitted to feeling “older sister guilt” as they considered how their little siblings may be coping at home—or how they might react when they eventually move out.
“As an older sister, this absolutely ripped my heart out,” a woman commented on the video.
“Older sister guilt. Honestly I can’t wait to move out and leave but then I look at my little brother and I feel like crying. I don't want to leave him alone,” another netizen said.
For geographical or financial reasons, staying home may not be an option for those pursuing college or better job opportunities. In the United States, over 40% of new college students move away from home each year.
To gain insights into how young adults can cope with homesickness, Bored Panda reached out to Dr. Stephanie Marcello, Chief Psychologist at Rutgers University Behavioral Health Care.
“These are huge transitions for everyone who lives in the home. It isn’t just about someone going away to college, it is an ending. Sometimes before we can appreciate and celebrate the beginning we need to grieve the ending. It is in some ways an ending of childhood and the way things have been for siblings and the college student,” Dr. Marcello shared via email.
Image credits: piper.koch
"It is a lot of change and [we should normalize] that all feelings are okay. If we let ourselves feel them, then we don’t get stuck in them. The challenge can be that sometimes our thoughts can take over and we can find ourselves ruminating or having all-or-nothing thinking."
For college students, this transition is particularly challenging, much like it is for their younger siblings at home. “Research shows us that as high as 70% of students experience homesickness. This data makes sense since it is typically the first time a person has left home and has to also adapt to a new environment.” the psychologist explained.
Homesickness can vary in intensity and duration. Students may experience physical symptoms such as loss of appetite, headaches, stomach aches, and disrupted sleep. Additionally, they may struggle with concentration, feel negatively about their new surroundings, or isolate themselves.
People got extremely emotional after reading the youngest siblings' to-do lists
However, there is also a positive side to facing a challenge as significant as leaving home (or watching an older sibling move out): growing up. “These feelings also teach individuals the skills to manage change and adjustment, which is a common occurrence in all of our lives.”
For instance, @1nner.th0ugh thinks about their older siblings when they start their day and remembers “the mornings in the bathroom when [we] all got ready together.”
In the afternoon, they lie in bed, then walk down the stairs that used to be raced up and down before going into the kitchen that was once “trashed by siblings making breakfast.”
They also sit on the swings that “used to bring so much laughter” before returning to their quiet home.
Some said they often go into their older siblings' bedrooms to remember them
Both in the United States and Europe, young men are more likely than young women to live in their parents’ home, the study notes.
Cultural differences also shape how young people perceive living at their family home. In the Middle East and North Africa, it’s widely “customary for young adults to live with their family until marriage.” Meanwhile, in China, many families opt to live in cross-generational homes.
People continued to share their experiences of longing, whether as the younger or older sibling
