During pregnancy, a new mom needs all of the support she can get. From her partner keeping the house clean to her best friends dropping off delicious treats to keep her energy up, it truly takes a village to transition into the life of being a parent without losing your marbles.
But unfortunately, some family members feel the need to make the experience even harder on new parents. One pregnant woman reached out to Reddit for advice after her mother-in-law pushed her to her breaking point. Below, you’ll find all of the details that she shared, as well as a conversation with the author and some of the replies concerned readers left her.
This woman has been struggling with an extremely difficult pregnancy
Image credits: Dragana_Gordic/Freepik (not the actual photo)
But what pushed her over the edge was the way her mother-in-law has been treating her
Image credits: user13216326/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Wavebreak Media/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: xcataclysmicxx
"I’ve really had to lay down the law about a few things"
To find out more about this situation, we got in touch with the new mom who shared this story on Reddit. She was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and discuss how her relationship with her mother-in-law is today.
"I’d say our relationship has improved, but I’ve also really had to lay down the law about a few things and be a real jerk," the author says. "But so far, it’s worked out in my favor and has gotten me respect."
She also noted that she's never been particularly close with her husband's mom, but this level of disdain for one another was new.
Finally, we asked the mother what she thought of the responses to her post. "I thought the replies were mega helpful, and validating," she shared. "I thought I was just being a brat if we’re being honest."
New moms need all of the support they can get during pregnancy
Image credits: cookie_studio/Freepik (not the actual photo)
As the author noted, pregnancy is one of the hardest things a person can experience. For nine months, a mother’s body is no longer fully her own. She has to share it with her child, who she’s now in charge of growing, protecting and nourishing until they get to come out into the world.
The experience can be terrifying, empowering, beautiful, exhausting and extremely painful, physically and emotionally. So it’s important for everyone in the mother’s life to do all that they can to help and support her during the wild ride of pregnancy.
Sunflower Motherhood notes on their site that the best way to support someone’s pregnancy is to try to understand what they’re going through. Educate yourself on the stages of pregnancy and what the mother is likely going to experience during each one.
However, if she expresses that her experience is unique, listen to her. Don’t invalidate her feelings or dismiss any of her concerns. No matter how much research you do, you won’t know exactly what she’s feeling in her body. And it’s important that she feels seen and heard.
Practical and emotional support are both crucial during pregnancy. When it comes to helping out with practical needs, friends and family members can offer to help clean the house, prepare meals and drive the new mom to and from appointments.
Tasks that would usually be simple can become extremely exhausting or challenging while growing a child, depending on how the mother is feeling, so it’s best to try to lighten her load. And at the same time, loved ones should encourage her to practice self-care. Prenatal yoga, hot baths, gentle walks and meditation can do wonders for some mothers, so make sure she always has some time to relax.
It's important to set strict boundaries when dealing with a toxic mother-in-law
Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately, as we’ve learned from this story, not everyone is supportive as they should be during pregnancy. It’s common for mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws to have conflicts in general, but these issues can sometimes become heightened when there’s a new family member on the way.
The soon-to-be grandmother might want to be overly involved, while the new mother might be feeling terrible or might be too exhausted to have to deal with entertaining her in-laws. Not to mention the fact that stress can take a huge toll on a pregnancy.
If a mother is under a lot of stress during her pregnancy, it can weaken her immune system and increase her likelihood of getting an infection. Stress can also lead to developing other issues like trouble sleeping, problems eating and high blood pressure. And tragically, it may even lead to miscarriage in certain cases.
So how can a pregnant woman deal with a toxic mother-in-law who’s only exacerbating her stress? SanityDaily notes that it’s best to enforce firm boundaries and prioritize yourself. And if she’s trying to provoke you, do everything you can to ignore her and refuse to engage.
Make sure that you already have enough help from others, and she won’t be able to argue that you’re in need of her assistance. And keep in touch with people who actually love and support you that will help you destress from your encounters with your mother-in-law.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments, pandas. How would you have responded to the way this woman’s mother-in-law acted? Feel free to weigh in. Then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar family drama right here.
Later, the soon-to-be mom responded to several comments and shared more details about her situation
Readers assured the author that she was not overreacting, and many shared suggestions of how to deal with her mother-in-law
Some even had similar stories of their own to share
