“Telling A Woman No”: 30 Men Share The Unfair Biases They Experience Because Of Their Gender

Maybe a minor one, not talked about a lot but: watching certain movies. Growing up I was always taught that certain things were just for girls. I’m 29, just watched Charlie’s Angels for the first time a month ago and I’m honestly mad at what could’ve been a pretty formative movie.




When I was 14 or so, my uncle was trying to ask me and my cousin which movie we wanted to rent for the evening. It came down to Catwoman or Scorpion King, and my cousin chose Catwoman only for my uncle to say “that’s gay” to which my cousin replied: “how is you wanting to watch The Rock all shirtless and oiled up not gay, but me wanting to watch Halle Berry in a skintight leather cat suit is?”.

If we are seen crying and/or being vulnerable, we get mocked by society.

Will Smith cried after his wife told him live that she had an affair. People laughed at Will. He became a meme.

Tyrese Gibson had a mental breakdown online in regards to not seeing his daughter in 2 years. People laughed at him. He became a meme too.

Kanye West had a mental breakdown live on TV, people called him “crazy”. He too became a meme.

I saw a meme recently of a random guy cuddling his gf and saying "I want your heart". She recorded it and posted it online. People laughed at him.

Then society wonders why we don't open up about our feelings.

Being a parent. Any time a dad is out alone with his kids other people always ask if he's on babysitting duty. It's not called babysitting it's called being a parent.

Telling a woman no.

dicksjshsb:
This is so true not even just for turning a girl down but if you feel like things are moving too fast in a relationship you can feel embarrassed or ashamed to say no. For girls it’s understandably encouraged to set your boundaries and not be pressured into doing things your not comfortable with - but for guys it’s kind of seen like something’s wrong with you.

It’s especially clear when underage guys get taken advantage of by a teacher. People say “that was probably the best day of their life” or something and it’s just clear that guys are expected to welcome almost any (straight) sexual encounter. It’s why I hate the “dudes will f**k anything that moves” stereotype.

Needing help. I recently had one of the biggest breakdowns of my life from internalized trauma and self hate. It took that and the pushing of some friends before I even considered getting therapy. It hurt myself and a lot of folks. If you are hurting, it's OK to go and get help. It's hard really hard, but it'll be worth it.

Not knowing how to fix or do something.

I'm not a car mechanic. I'm not a broadband engineer. I'm not a builder/sparky/plumber.

If I don't know how to do something, I'm not less of a person for acknowledging a gap in knowledge or understanding.

I’d like to be able to tell a woman that she’s pretty without her or anyone else thinking I’m trying to f**k her or that I’m a creep. I can think a woman is pretty without hitting on her.

Having female friends.

Zomburai:

My best friend is a woman. She's literally saved my life, and every way I've bettered myself was in part because she was behind me pushing me to be a better human. She's one of the most important people in my life, and I couldn't be with someone who was ever jealous of her place in it. We would make a horrible couple.

Frozen-Hot-Dog-Water:

I’m close friends with a few girls, particularly closer with one of them. Every time we go out to bars and run into people we know, they ask how long we’ve been together, then act like it’s weird we hang out a lot but don’t date. Like, we’re great friends, but there’s no way we would ever work in a relationship, and that’s fine because we’re both on the same page.

Wanting to be left the hell alone.

It’s not that we don’t want to spend time with our partners, but for f**k sake alone time is valuable. Sometimes your man just wants a little time to himself and there’s nothing wrong with that or anything to read into about it.

Not fitting into, or having an interest in, typical "manly" hobbies and interests.

We should be encouraging everyone to pursue and commit to whatever endeavours leave them feeling happy and fulfilled (provided those endeavours aren't at the expense of others), irregardless of what they may be.

Playing. I bust my butt at work and save money so I can then play. That might be video games, a sport, building random stuff in a workshop, etc., but, whatever it is, let a bro have his hobbies/playtime. See a 30-year-old playing Pokémon? Good, leave him alone and let him have his fun.

Having an 8, 9, or 10 year old car. I make six figures, have over $1M in savings, and own my 4BR/2BA house outright. Yet I drive a 2014 Subaru.

Why? Because it runs fine and is comfortable and good in the snow, and has an actual f*****g key instead of a button and I can slam down the rear gate instead of pressing a button and standing there like an idiot for five seconds waiting for the gate to close. New cars are f*****g stupid.

Sitting down to pee.

VH5150OU812:

Yup. At 53, I have found the bladder empties better, no post-void drip and my wife and two daughters enjoy the fact that they won’t be going for a midnight dip courtesy of dear old dad. Plus, during the inevitable 3 am pee, I can leave the lights off and be certain of hitting my intended target.

Taking their full paternity leave, as permitted by their employer.

Being the one who takes care of kids in a relationship or making less money than their partner.

88bauss:
I too would like to be a stay at home dog-dad one day. My GF makes more money than me and probably will for a few years, I'll catch up and surpass but it's not about that at all and she has never in 2.5 years said anything about our incomes. We basically live together and I'm there everyday. I'm usually the one taking care of the dogs and her daughter (16) and house chores and it's fine by me and she appreciates it.

Having empty apartments.

As much as it’s nice to have decorations in a house, I don’t give a s**t about it. as long as my house is clean and I am comfortable in it then I have the essentials. My girlfriend is the only reason our house is decorated.

Being content with enough.

iCan20:
"You're not going to work to provide my daughter everything she wants?" Literally came out of my MIL's mouth. While I am absolutely financially supporting her daughter. It was a commmt I made that buying a house with a pool is probably going to be out of our price range unless she wants to go back to work to save up her money for a pool.

I'll pay for the pool if I get everything I WANT also. But nobody's going to go to work to give me everything I want. Hell id settle for someone giving me most of what I want. Or even paying for my McDonald's once a month. A man can dream!

LordofAmazon:

This! My brothers and I didn't have much growing up. We were determined to pull ourselves out of poverty, and we did it with education and hard work. I used to want to become a millionaire, but I eventually realized that it wasn't worth the effort and that I just wanted to be comfortable. My brothers, on the other hand, got never let go of that dream of wanting to become super wealthy. Despite already accumulating a lot of assets, they still overwork themselves because they want more. This mindset that men are only worth as much as what they can bring home is incredibly toxic, because it will never be enough.

Liking “girly” cocktails. Let me have a margarita like god damn.

Generally, anything deemed “girly”.

Being broke. We are caught up in a world where man has to be a provider and when you’re broke, you will be look down upon.

Speaking up against harassment.