35 Unhinged Tales Of People Pulling Off The Wildest Things, All Thanks To A Breakup

From grief to rage or just disappointment, our minds can go through waves of emotions after a breakup. To understand how it really affects the human psyche, Bored Panda reached out to Eden Lobo, a counselor and psychology professor. She explained that sometimes, it triggers a neurochemical withdrawal similar to quitting a substance.

"The brain's reward system, previously fueled by 'love chemicals' like dopamine and oxytocin, suddenly starves. This leads to obsessive 'looping' thoughts and an intense craving for the ex-partner. The brain processes social rejection in the same regions as physical pain. That's why emotional distress often manifests as actual physical symptoms, such as chest tightness or lethargy," she added.

While our expert believes that a breakup is a highly subjective experience, she stresses that it can cause fragmentation of self-identity. "In long-term relationships, identities often merge (the 'we' instead of 'I'). When the bond breaks, individuals often report feeling like they don't know who they are anymore," she noted.

Prof. Lobo elaborated that we build our future around our partners. According to her, a breakup forces the psyche to delete a planned future and rebuild a new narrative from scratch, which is cognitively exhausting. She claimed that the psyche generally moves through these phases: protest, despair, detachment, and reorganization.

We also conversed with our expert about how people's reactions after a breakup range from taking revenge to self-destruction. She claimed that whether they lash out or turn inward is usually determined by their locus of control, attachment style, and personality traits.

"Those who seek revenge often view the breakup as an 'ego threat' or a personal injustice. By lashing out, they attempt to regain a sense of power and balance the scales of pain. This behavior is frequently linked to a need for dominance or an external locus of control. The individual believes that hurting the person who caused their misery will somehow alleviate their own suffering," Prof. Lobo expressed.

In contrast to seeking revenge, some people get self-destructive by turning to alcohol, substances, or social withdrawal. Prof. Lobo emphasized that for these individuals, the breakup is viewed as a personal failure or a loss of their entire identity. She believes that instead of seeking power, they seek numbness. 

"Alcohol or self-destructive behaviors act as chemical 'band-aids' to quiet the intense psychological pain. Ultimately, both paths are maladaptive coping mechanisms used to avoid the difficult, stagnant work of grieving. One uses fire to burn others, while the other uses it to burn themselves," she added.

Psychologically speaking, Prof. Lobo narrated that closure is achieved when you stop treating the breakup as a problem to be solved. Rather, you start treating it as a story that has ended. "By granting yourself closure, you reclaim your personal narrative. This shift moves the ex-partner from the center of your mental world to a peripheral memory that no longer dictates your emotional stability," she concluded.

Well, I guess psychological closure is more important than taking revenge, crying over the ex, or acting self-destructively. With that in mind, you can still enjoy the rest of the unhinged stories. Also, if you have anything similar to share with us, feel free to do so in the comments below!