Based on my life experience, I've developed a rule for myself: if I'm planning to organize or host any family or friendly gathering and there are any crucial rules or requirements, I'd better remind everyone of them several times. Yes, there's a risk of being called "petty," but it's better to do so than face problems later.
Well, the user u/throwaway-cupcakelad, the narrator of our story today, is just 17 years old and clearly hasn't had time to gain much life experience, good or bad. So, when planning her birthday party, she only warned all guests once about not bringing any food containing nuts. As it turned out later, one warning was too little...
More info: Reddit
Sometimes life presents us with a dilemma between losing a friend or risking another person's health, and it's crucial to make the right choice
Image credits: pvproductions / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author of the post is a teen getting ready for her 18th birthday party and inviting guests
Image credits: lookstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The host offered BBQ and pizza, and told the guests they could also bring their own food, but no nuts were allowed because of one guest's allergy
Image credits: wahyu_t / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author found out later that one guest baked a cake with nuts anyway, and she threw a fit after getting told it was disallowed
Image credits: throwaway-cupcakelad
So the host ended up disinviting this friend, and her boyfriend as well, getting dubbed "entitled and unreasonable" by them
So, the Original Poster (OP) says she's 17 years old now and planning her 18th birthday party. Nothing fancy, just a friendly gathering at home, BBQ and pizza, with guests also bringing their own food. Among the invited guests was "Emily," the author's close male friend's girlfriend, and she volunteered to bake a cake.
However, our heroine had one important food-related restriction. One of the guests is allergic to nuts, so the birthday girl warned all guests in advance that nuts in any form were not allowed in the food they brought. The author added Emily to a general friends chat, and she, too, added a thumbs-up emoji to the message about the no-nuts rule.
And so, literally the day before the birthday, Emily sent the original poster a photo of the cake she baked - and it obviously contained nuts. The author clarified, and yes, Emily admitted that the cake had nuts. When our heroine said once more that nuts were not allowed, the guest assumed that the allergic person could simply not eat this cake at all.
The author declared that impossible, and Emily replied that then she wouldn't show up. Well, the OP agreed that in that case, she was disinviting her. Some time later, Emily's boyfriend called and bashed her for "being entitled and unreasonable." And now our hero faces the prospect of losing two guests at once, and her friends and acquaintances are also very divided over this. So, the author took it online, seeking support.
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
If you look at the experts' opinions, there can be no dispute - the original poster did the right thing, as nut allergies can have very rapid consequences. In fact, nut allergies are considered one of the ten most widespread allergies in the United States, affecting roughly 0.5% to 1% of the country's population, as this dedicated article states. So, risking a guest's health is definitely not worth it.
Furthermore, studies show that the number of children and adults allergic to various nuts has been steadily increasing over the past decades. For example, this study by scientists at the University of Manchester shows an increase in the incidence of allergies from 5% to 7% among infants and 1% to 2% among adults. So, the problem of allergies will only become more pressing over time.
Furthermore, the possible consequences of contact with an allergen can include fairly rapid (sometimes within 5 minutes of exposure) anaphylactic shock. Thus, the original poster's decision to prioritize the health of a guest over the potential loss of friendships seems difficult, but entirely justified.
In fact, people in the comments unanimously sided with the original poster, also recalling sad stories of losing their own friends and close ones over food allergies. So, according to the responders, this is absolutely not a case where one should give in to friends' childish whims. And do you, our dear readers, also agree with this? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.
Most commenters sided with the author, claiming that food allergy is actually a thing one shouldn't mess with, so the host made the right choice here
