Your wedding is meant to celebrate the love between you and your soulmate, in the presence of the people you care about the most. However, some entitled people make your Big Day all about them. They will hijack the planning and, if you let them, the guest list, too.
A bride-to-be vented online about how her toxic mother-in-law started crossing her boundaries and placing herself in all parts of the wedding. However, the final straw was when the MIL invited guests to the Big Day that the happy couple had never even met in their lives, without even consulting them. You’ll find the full story and the powerful update below.
One of the worst feelings in the world is when a narcissist tries to hijack your wedding
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This bride-to-be shared how her wedding planning turned into a nightmare after her entitled mother-in-law decided to invite strangers to her Big Day
Image credits: shotprime/Envato (not the actual photo)
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Narcissistic individuals often believe they are entitled to special treatment. They think they are superior to you, so they will ignore your boundaries
Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries! They are what keep your relationships happy and healthy. Without them, your wants and needs are placed on the back burner while other people impose their will on you. Boundaries are your way of informing the people around you—yes, especially your loved ones—about what behaviors you find (un)acceptable.
You are, basically, communicating your expectations, as well as the potential consequences for (constantly) breaching your trust. Someone who consistently ignores your boundaries and doesn’t take your “no” for an answer does not respect you. In all likelihood, they struggle with narcissistic personality traits, feel entitled, and believe they are far more special than you. This is not the right mindset to have, especially when you’re supposed to support the happy couple before their wedding, not make the Big Day all about what you want.
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A person with narcissistic personality disorder has an inflated sense of self-importance and feels entitled to special treatment even though they don’t necessarily deserve it. What’s more, they are incredibly preoccupied with power, beauty, or success.
Narcissists lack empathy, have a desire to be admired by other people, and are either envious of others or want others to be envious of them. They tend to exploit other folks for their own gain, and they want to be around people who are important and special.
According to Duke University, narcissists are not bad people; it is their behavior that is problematic. “They have been conditioned to believe that they are special and deserve to be treated better than others and approach the world accordingly.”
Even if they’re not villains, it doesn’t make dealing with them easier. Having a relationship with narcissists can be very challenging because they always put themselves first while putting you down. It is vital that you set healthy boundaries and actually respond appropriately when they are ignored. Go through with the consequences you communicated. In a nutshell, you should focus on your personal well-being instead of trying to change the other person.
Most engaged couples have a limited budget. Sadly, not everyone who wants to attend the wedding will get an invite, but that's okay
To be fair, narcissists can ‘recover’; however, real behavioral change doesn’t happen overnight. You need consistent effort over a long period of time to change your habits, often with the guidance of a therapist. But the issue is that narcissists tend not to seek help on their own, as they lack the self-awareness to recognize the fact that they need help in the first place.
At the end of the day, unless you are incredibly lucky and have an unlimited budget, you probably won’t be able to invite everyone you know to your wedding. And even then, it doesn’t make sense to invite everyone you have ever met in life, as your relationships and shared history will be different. Remember, you’re celebrating your love in the presence of those you adore the most.
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You will have to make tough decisions about who you should prioritize in the guest list, especially if you have a limited budget. And that is a go-to response when you have to inform someone that, unfortunately, you won’t be inviting them.
If someone from your past reaches out to congratulate you on your engagement and is angling for a wedding invite, casually mention the budget and space constraints. Then, offer to meet up after the wedding. This way, you’re sticking to your wedding plans while also staying open to restoring a potentially positive relationship.
What’s your perspective, Pandas? What would you do if someone from your or your partner’s family decided to invite strangers to your Big Day?
If you’re married, did anyone try to hijack your wedding planning and guest list? Meanwhile, what advice would you give engaged couples who are planning their wedding and are completely overwhelmed, exhausted, and frustrated? Share your thoughts with all the other readers in the comments.
The bride-to-be shared some more context with her readers in the comments
Many internet users were shocked and flabbergasted by the MIL's unseemly behavior
Later, the author of the viral story shared an important update after the wedding
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Here's how some readers reacted after they read the follow-up post
