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#1
As much as we might dislike some of these facts (and other things about the world), closing our eyes won't make them go away.
Dr. Michelle Maidenberg is an adjunct graduate professor of Mindfulness Practice at New York University and maintains a private practice in Harrison, NY. She told Bored Panda, "Denial is a common psychological defense mechanism where a person refuses to accept reality or facts, often to protect themselves from uncomfortable emotions or distress. It can be both helpful and harmful, depending on the context and duration of use."
According to Maidenberg, the benefits include:
- Short-term emotional relief. Denial can help someone cope with shocking or traumatic news (like a medical diagnosis or the loss of a loved one) by softening the emotional blow until they’re ready to process it.
- Preserving functioning in a crisis. In the immediate aftermath of overwhelming events, denial can allow a person to continue functioning, go to work, care for family, or make decisions without being emotionally paralyzed.
- Gradual processing. It can act as a psychological buffer, giving the mind time to gradually accept reality at a pace it can handle.
#2
The detriments of denial include:
- Avoidance of reality. "Long-term denial prevents individuals from addressing and resolving real issues, whether it’s a deteriorating relationship, addiction, illness, or financial trouble," Maidenberg said.
- Blocking of personal growth. Refusing to confront uncomfortable truths, we miss opportunities for self-aware reflection, healing, and growth.
- Strained relationships. Maidenberg also highlighted that, "Denial can create conflict with others who see the reality more clearly, leading to frustration, mistrust, or emotional distance."
- Worsening problems over time. Ignoring problems doesn't make them go away. On the contrary, they often escalate because of it, as denying symptoms of an illness can lead to worsened health outcomes in the future.
"Denial can be a healthy initial response to emotional pain, but if it becomes a chronic pattern, it often leads to negative or detrimental consequences," said Maidenberg, who also shares comprehensible bite-sized snippets on human psychology on her Instagram account. "The key is awareness and the ability to eventually transition from denial to acceptance and action."
#3
Psychotherapist, interfaith minister, and thought leader Nancy Colier has, among other things, served as a performance consultant to professional athletes and artists. She told Bored Panda the first step to accepting a reality we don't like or want is to adjust expectations and make peace with the fact that life includes disappointment and discomfort.
"Removing the idea that life should always go well and be comfortable is the first part of getting more ok with what’s not ok. Just the acceptance that not ok is always a part of but not the whole of our life," said the author of The Emotionally Exhausted Woman: Why You’re Feeling Depleted and How to Get What You Need and Can't Stop Thinking: How to Let Go of Anxiety and Free Yourself from Obsessive Rumination.
"Secondly, it’s important to create practices that allow you to stay in touch with those aspects of life that are working for you in the moment," Colier continued. "To feel grounded spiritually in some way so that what is 'wrong' or uncomfortable about reality can exist in a larger awareness of what is good and well and always present inside you—that space of all is okay must exist somewhere in us so that we can better tolerate that which is not ok."
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1. If you are allergic to shrimp, you also can't eat cicadas.
2. In a blind sniff test, 90% of people cannot differentiate between the smell of parmesan cheese and vomit. So sorry if I just ruined that for you.
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