Every couple has to decide for themselves what works best in their relationship, regardless of what other people say. This can be important, especially when it comes to gender roles related to earning and managing the home.
This is why one couple had divided the roles between themselves and were pretty content with their arrangement, until their friends started criticizing them for it out of the blue. This made the guy mad, and he retorted about being the breadwinner, leaving his wife in tears and questioning everything.
More info: Reddit
Every couple is different, and they need to figure out how to divide responsibilities in a way that works best for them, regardless of what everyone else thinks
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The poster explained that since his wife developed bad anxiety due to some horrible jobs, they decided she would be a homemaker, and he would become the sole earner
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Even though the couple were content with their roles, the man began feeling annoyed when their friends criticized him for not pitching in that much for household chores
Image credits: Freepik / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Eventually, when the friends kept scolding him, he tried to turn their criticism back on them by showing how only he was the one earning money in their relationship
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Even though the man didn’t think much of his retort, he later realized that it had caused his wife pain and that she felt like it was a jab toward her
The poster explained that he had taken over as the breadwinner of their home because his wife had developed some anxiety issues from dealing with many horrible jobs. Therefore, they both decided that she would take over all household chores full-time, and he could become the sole earner.
It’s definitely important for couples to figure out which responsibilities each of them should take on, and experts say this can only be done through open and honest communication. Deciding which roles each partner should fulfill must be done collaboratively so that they’re both on the same page and satisfied with their tasks.
This is exactly what the OP and his wife had done, which is why they were pretty content with their responsibilities. Unfortunately, not everyone respected their assigned roles, and this became a conflict when their friends came over and berated the poster for not doing enough to help out around the house.
Sometimes, when a couple sets traditional gender roles for themselves, other people might find it tough to accept their decision. That’s why some housewives explain that it’s important for people to do what works best for their relationship, and that as long as both partners complement each other’s tasks, they shouldn’t worry about anyone else.
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The poster, unfortunately, had to bear the brunt of his guests’ criticism because they felt that he was not doing enough household chores. They also called him lazy and tried to get him to change his ways. The problem was that even his wife wasn’t standing up for him in front of them, which is why he eventually had to take action.
It can be painful to hear criticism of your marriage from others, and the urge to correct them might be strong, but professionals advise against engaging in such discussions. Rather than trying to prove the other folks wrong, it’s best to understand that they don’t know much about your relationship dynamic, which is why you should be secure in it.
That’s exactly the opposite of what the poster did, and he finally clapped back at his guests by questioning why he was the only one working when both of them needed to use the money. This retort silenced the people for the time being, and they eventually left, but he soon realized his words had hurt his wife.
She felt that his reply was actually a way to shame her and that he wanted her to go back to work, even though he hadn’t said any of that. He also tried to explain himself to his wife, but she couldn’t understand his point of view. Hopefully, they are later able to work things out; otherwise, they might have to rethink their relationship roles if they’re unhappy.
Do you think the poster was in the wrong in this situation? We’d love to hear your thoughts on this story and whether you think traditional marital roles make sense in certain situations.
Most people sided with the man and also urged him to talk to his wife about the situation and to figure out if she wanted to switch up their responsibilities
