The name we're born with isn't always the name that sticks. Sometimes we pick up a nickname along the way and that's what we're known as from henceforth on. Maybe it's just a shortened version of our name. Perhaps it's chosen by friends or family because of something we once did, or an identifying feature we have.
A nurse, who wants to be known as Jessica, says she was completely mortified to learn that her colleagues had given her a rather embarrassing nickname, and that they only used it behind her back. She found out by chance when a new co-worker spilled the beans - while not realizing they were talking to "Jessica with the..." The nurse is now considering reporting the matter to HR but many feel she shouldn't.
She was mortified to learn that her colleagues had a secret nickname for her
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Now "Jessica with the ..." wants to report the matter to HR but it might make things worse
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Image source: aitani**lenurse
Most adults have been called a nickname at work, and not everyone is comfortable with theirs
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Nearly nine out of 10 U.S. adults have either been called by a nickname at work or seen someone else be called a nickname. That's according to research carried out by Zhe Zhang, Assistant Professor of Marketing Ivey Business School and Shuili Du, Professor of Marketing Peter T. Paul College of Business and Economics University of New Hampshire.
The experts say that nicknaming is a type of "workplace deviance." This basically means it violates the professional communication rules and is “at variance with the local etiquette.” They also say that nicknaming a co-worker can be both destructive and constructive, depending on what you call them.
The researchers refer to upward and downward nicknaming, saying that the latter is when a manager, team lead or boss, nicknames a subordinate.
"Examples of downward nicknaming include 'Tiny T' (for a subordinate who is short), 'Speedy' (referring to a subordinate who hurries with cleaning tasks), 'Smurf' (for someone being petite), and 'Penny Pincher' (for a subordinate who always introduces 'new ways to be cost effective')," explains the research paper.
Some people might not like their nicknames, while others may prefer not to be called by a nickname at work at all.
Experts advise taking action early if you don't want to be called a particular nickname at work. "Do not assume that a nickname may disappear automatically or it could be a one-time thing so it can be allowed 'this time'. It is much easier to stop a nickname at its early stage than when it’s well-known by many and is used for a long time," warns the research paper.
It adds that you should politely tell colleagues how you feel, as well as how you'd prefer to be addressed professionally. Do this either directly or in more subtle ways, like dropping your preferred name into conversations as often as possible.
You could also choose a lightly passive-aggressive approach with a touch of humor, suggests Jo Bryant, a tutor at the English Manner etiquette training institute. And if that doesn't work, Bryant advises the following: “Pretend not to react if someone summons you by the nickname (‘Oh, sorry, I didn’t realise you were talking to me’).”
And for those out there who have coined a nickname for a colleague, remember that your 'gesture' might not be appreciated.
“You should only call someone by a nickname if they give you permission to do so. It is basic respect,” says etiquette and protocol expert Laura Windsor.
The nurse later explained what she expected HR to do about it
But not everyone was convinced... some felt she shouldn't report the matter to HR
"Came home to new bras": the nurse revealed that she was getting some much-needed support
