You know, I have three kids, and depending on the situation, it sometimes feels like a blessing from above and sometimes like a real punishment for some awful sins—especially when you have to travel somewhere with the whole family. My wife and I prefer to travel without our childless friends—just to avoid burdening them with unnecessary problems. But, as it turns out, not all parents actually do this.
For example, friends of the user u/tesgyy78eita, the author of the story that we’re about to tell you today, took their toddlers on one of their recent trips together and, as it turned out later, they actually expected the childless spouses to act as free cooks, helpers, and babysitters. And, as it often happens, things went completely south...
More info: Reddit
The author of the post and her husband have 2 friend couples and they are the only childless family among them
Image credits: dotshock / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Both friendly couples have toddlers, and the author is also the only lady with a regular job at the moment
Image credits: tesgyy78eita
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The friends often go on vacations together and our heroine is a trip planner for the most cases
Image credits: tesgyy78eita
Image credits: Gary Barnes / Pexels (not the actual photo)
On the recent trip, both parenting couples brought their toddlers and, it turned out, they expected the author and her spouse to be free nannies and cooks for them
Image credits: tesgyy78eita
The author then swore off going on any vacations together again—but one of the moms got offended by her decision
So, the Original Poster (OP) is married, and the couple has two more friend couples whom they consider almost like family after years of friendship. A few years ago, both couples had children, and the author and her husband were the only childless couple among them. In addition, as the OP herself notes, she is the only one of the three ladies who has a job at the moment.
The friends have a custom of traveling together on vacation, and our heroine is usually the one who plans these trips. Recently, three families went together, but this time, the parents took their toddlers with them. And this, as you probably already guessed, drastically changed the entire travel experience. At least for the OP and her husband, whom the friends, as it turned out, considered to be free nannies and cooks...
Moreover, during the vacation, while the author and her spouse were regularly cooking for their friends, they even allowed themselves to make snide reproaches. Such as how they—without kids—"are constantly on vacation." So, in the opinion of the parents, they have the right to expect such services from childless friends. As a result, upon returning home, our heroine swore off traveling with them on any vacations anymore.
And so, when the friends suggested that she plan a new trip, the woman reminded them of the offensive situation in the general chat and honestly refused. One couple immediately apologized, but the second mom immediately took offense and left the chat. Her husband later called and apologized as well, but now the OP has some remorse about whether she was actually right and maybe it would be worth it to just endure it one more time.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
"I want to immediately note that parenthood is a conscious choice of every married couple, and reproaching someone for the fact that you’re experiencing difficulties in parenting looks at least impolite," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment here.
"I understand perfectly well that this is not easy, and all parents would like to have a little rest, but you shouldn’t shift this burden onto the shoulders of other people."
"This was a de facto violation of personal boundaries, and this woman did the right thing by explaining her position to her friends. I don't think this will greatly affect their relationship in the future—at least when you've been friends for years, there are always ups and downs. However, demonstrating that this behavior was offensive to her and her husband, in my opinion, was necessary."
"Further proof of her rightness is that three of the four friends immediately apologized, and the husband of the woman who got demonstratively offended also apologized later. It seems to me that they will soon make peace with the second mom, when she calms down a bit. I also hope this situation will not ruin their long-standing friendship," Irina sums up.
People in the comments on the original post also unanimously supported the author, noting that their friends' demands seemed entitled. If they want to continue going on vacation with their kids, then it makes sense to stay in hotels only. "No cooking/dining in," one of the responders noted. And have you, our dear readers, ever encountered something similar? Please share your thoughts in the comments here.
Most of the commenters wholeheartedly supported the author and praised her for standing up for her personal boundaries
