Weddings are supposed to be about happy couples celebrating their love for one another. It’s their Big Day and they should enjoy the spotlight. However, if they sideline their guests or treat them poorly, it can backfire hugely. Like having their bridezilla story go viral on a bunch of social networks and in the media.
Case in point, one vegan bridezilla earned the ire of the internet after uninviting her omnivore friends and family from her wedding. Then, she bragged about it on the ‘Vegan Revolution’ Facebook page. This is proof that if you want to convince someone to change their diet (whether due to health or ethical concerns), looking down on them won’t help. Scroll down for the full story.
Bored Panda got in touch with redditor u/Lockraemono, one of the internet users who shared the entire discussion with members of the Reddit community. They were kind enough to answer our questions.
One vegan 'bridezilla' got a lot of hate on social media for how she treated her would-be wedding guests
Image credits: nikki gibson (not the actual photo)
She banned all omnivore family and friends from the event, and then bragged about it online
Image credits: Gelatin_MonKey
Here's how some guests, who got uninvited, reacted to the entire situation
Image credits: Lockraemono
Image credits: Lockraemono
Image credits: Lockraemono
The bride later updated her original post
Image credits: Lockraemono
Here's what some internet users had to say when they read the bridezilla's posts
Image credits: Lockraemono
Image credits: Lockraemono
Image credits: Lockraemono
Some of her former guests were unwilling to stay silent while she attacked them
Image credits: Lockraemono
Image credits: Chasse Sauvage (not the actual photo)
The bride continued to share her perspective about veganism
Image credits: Lockraemono
Image credits: Lockraemono
Image credits: Lockraemono
Image credits: Lockraemono
Meanwhile, other people kept calling her out for how she handled everything
Image credits: Lockraemono
Image credits: Lockraemono
Image credits: Lockraemono
Being overly judgmental and looking down on others is a horrible way to promote veganism. It only hurts the cause
People embrace veganism for a number of reasons. Some folks are big supporters of animal welfare and also want to protect the environment. Others might have changed their diet due to health concerns or simply because they prefer vegan food.
However, if your aim is to convince someone to become vegan, bashing them, yelling how they’re ‘murderers,’ and then bragging about how superior you are isn’t the way to do it.
When attacked or insulted, most people are going to get defensive or double down on their omnivore/pescatarian/vegetarian lifestyle instead.
Others might push back and argue their case. In any case, it’s not a good approach. To put it bluntly, most people dislike being treated rudely and accused out of the blue. They’re also probably not big fans of being uninvited from a wedding at the very last minute because they eat both plant and animal matter.
A more diplomatic way to show how awesome veganism can be would have been to have all the dishes at the wedding be vegan. Go all-out with the caterers on this one. Have a wide range of delicious, aesthetic dishes that even the biggest steak lovers would enjoy.
That’s how you get through to people: with delicious food and a friendly, welcoming atmosphere, not by acting judgy and holier-than-thou.
As BBC Future points out, omnivores tend to get along easier with vegans and vegetarians who choose their lifestyles for health reasons. Meanwhile, they generally feel that vegans and vegetarians who embrace their lifestyles because of ethical concerns are quite irritating.
This is why powerful vegan adverts that show how animals suffer at the hands of the meat industry can often backfire. Yes, some people will become more conscious of their actions and will either stop eating meat or reduce their intake.
Image credits: Hermes Rivera (not the actual photo)
Uninviting someone from your wedding is a big step. There have to be serious reasons to do so
However, others, when faced with this moral discomfort, will simply continue living the way they had before. They’ll look for ways to justify their actions and deal with the cognitive dissonance that they’re suddenly becoming aware of inside of them.
Uninviting guests is probably going to be awkward, no matter the situation. At the end of the day, it’s up to the happy couple to decide if they really need to shorten the guest list. However, they have to be honest about their reasons for doing so.
For example, if your guest turns out to be extremely disruptive and toxic, it may be grounds for asking them to sit your Big Day out. The same can be said about folks you’ve had massive arguments with in the run-up to the wedding.
Another reason to shorten the guest list would be if you’ve broken the budget or if your savings have taken a huge hit recently. This, of course, is understandable. However, it’s best to consider how many guests you can reasonably wine and dine at the reception before you send out all of those fancy RSVP invites.
According to ‘Bride & Groom Direct,’ it’s best if you uninvite someone in person. Give them as much of a heads-up as possible. You really don’t want them to spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars on flights, clothing, and accommodation for a wedding you don’t want them to attend in the first place.
In the meantime, don’t play around the issue. Be as straightforward (but polite) as you can. They deserve to know the truth about why you’re uninviting them. However, you should not feel like you have to justify your decision: don’t argue with them.
If you genuinely want to change your relationship with the person in the future, give them a chance to change. Invite them to brunch or dinner after your wedding and honeymoon. See how you feel about the person then.
Image credits: Al Elmes (not the actual photo)
"Exposing people to actually delicious vegan food would be a more productive step since that doesn’t invoke guilt, which makes people defensive"
Bored Panda asked redditor u/Lockraemono for their thoughts on why this particular story keeps going viral on the internet, time and time again.
According to them, the story "probably keeps cropping back up because it feeds into the narrative that vegans are insufferable, and folks love to hate on vegans. Not that I find vegans insufferable, but that’s the reason I think it gets so much traction."
Meanwhile, the redditor shared their thoughts on what the vegan bride could have done to stay true to her lifestyle while also making her wedding guests happy.
"Make the wedding vegan (food, venue, decoration, outfits all conforming to vegan ethics), or don’t associate with non-vegan folks all the time rather than just on her wedding day," u/Lockraemono suggested.
The internet user also shed some light on how someone might go about convincing others to give veganism a try.
"I don’t think it’s a thing you can convince someone of unless they’re already on the fence as it’s such a personal choice, and people make it for so many reasons," they said.
"Points about the environmental impact of the meat industry, or health benefits, could be mildly convincing. Probably, exposing people to actually delicious vegan food would be a more productive step since that doesn’t invoke guilt, which makes people defensive."
Here's how some other internet users reacted to the story as it continued to go viral
