Groom’s Demand For A Virginity Inspection Costs Him His Fiancée: “I Ended It And Left Him”

Most people look forward to their wedding day, imagining a future filled with love and happiness.

This Redditor was no different—until her fiancé revealed a stomach-turning family tradition. Before they could marry, his father and male relatives needed to inspect her for “purity.” Just a little test to prove she loved him.

Horrified, she turned to the internet, desperate for advice.

Read the full story below.

The idea that a woman’s virginity can be “verified” is one of the most harmful myths that has fueled gender discrimination for centuries.

For starters, virginity itself isn’t a medical or scientific term. It’s a social construct. While different cultures attach varying levels of significance to it, it has no actual impact on a person’s health.

On top of that, research has repeatedly shown that doctors cannot determine a woman’s sexual history just by looking. A 2004 study of 36 pregnant teenagers, for example, found that medical staff could only confirm “penetration” in two cases. Another study from the same year found that more than half of the sexually active adolescent girls examined showed no identifiable changes to their hymenal tissue.

And yet, according to the World Health Organization (WHO), virginity testing has been documented in at least 20 countries across the world. Women and girls are often subjected to it for a variety of reasons—not just by parents or potential spouses trying to confirm their “purity” before marriage, as in the story above, but even by employers as a condition of hiring.

These tests are typically performed by doctors, police officers, or community leaders, supposedly to assess a woman’s virtue, honor, or social value. In some places, medical professionals are even asked to perform virginity tests on sexual harassment survivors to determine whether sexual violence occurred, despite the fact that scientific evidence makes it clear there is no reliable way to “prove” whether a woman has had intercourse just by examining her hymen.

Beyond being medically baseless, these tests are a blatant violation of human rights. In cases of sexual harassment, they can even re-traumatize survivors, forcing them to relive their experience. Many women experience long-term psychological, emotional, and social consequences, including anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder. In extreme cases, some face honor-based violence or even take their own lives as a result.

Performing this unnecessary and degrading procedure goes against multiple human rights and ethical standards, including the fundamental medical principle of “do no harm,” as stated by WHO.

However, the misinformation persists. It wasn’t until 2021 that Pakistan banned virginity tests for sexual harassment survivors in court cases. Meanwhile, the practice continues in several countries across Asia, the Middle East, and parts of Africa. Even in the UK, private doctors offer virginity tests, providing medical reports to confirm an “intact” hymen. And for those who fear the social consequences of not passing, there’s an option to undergo hymen repair surgery—at a cost of around $7,000 (as of 2022).

Clearly, there’s still work to be done. Awareness needs to be raised, and governments must take action to ban virginity testing altogether. But more importantly, real social change is needed—because as long as women are judged and shamed based on an outdated and damaging myth, the fight isn’t over.