It’s become more and more common for colleagues that work closely together to adopt the term ‘work wife’ or ‘work husband’. Not surprising when you consider that today’s work environments can be highly pressurized and teams are expected to be constantly connected, sometimes even beyond office hours.
But how close is too close? A young bride discovered her husband of 9 months was near constantly texting with his female colleague of five years. The wife in question asked her husband to stop, but he hasn’t, so now she’s demanding a divorce, despite her mother and in-laws thinking she’s making a big deal out of nothing.
More info: Reddit
Young wife demanding split after discovering her husband’s emotional affair with his work wife
Image credits: Budgeron Bach (not the actual photo)
Couple had been happily married for 9 months, at least until the wife found out about her husband's female bestie at work
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)
Husband texting with female colleague out of office upset wife with inappropriate messages
Image credits: Artem Beliaikin (not the actual photo)
Wife wanted to know why her husband has never told her about this colleague he’s extremely close with
Image credits: Jep Gambardella (not the actual photo)
Husband even brought his work wife home to reassure his young bride that nothing out of sorts was going on
Image credits: anonymous
Now wife has asked for a divorce after only 9 months of marriage, mother and in-laws think she’s making a big fuss about nothing
While it’s not unusual for colleagues to sometimes form close bonds with each other, there are some lines that just shouldn’t be crossed. One Reddit user got a nasty surprise when she discovered her husband was much closer to his female colleague than she realized. While visiting her husband at work, he introduced her to a colleague he’d been working with for 5 years. This was the first time the man’s wife had ever heard of her, which she immediately thought was a bit strange.
So, she started paying more attention to her husband’s texting behavior. It soon became apparent that he was texting this colleague almost daily. For his wife of just 9 months, this was unacceptable, so she challenged him on it. To try to smooth things over, her husband handed over his phone, saying that he wasn’t in constant daily contact with his married colleague, but rather just at times when she was having troubles at home.
After reading through the texts, the young wife discovered that her husband and his colleague had cute names for each other and had been sending what seemed like joking texts about the colleague’s intimacy issues. Unsurprisingly, the woman told him that she considered it flirting. Her husband said he would stop "if it bothered her so much". Despite this, the wife noticed that, about a month later, the texting had started up again, so she immediately let hubby know she wasn’t happy about it.
Well, her husband responded by bringing the colleague home to reassure her that nothing was going on. The colleague basically told her that it’s not her fault if she has low self-esteem. After the colleague left, OP told hubby that she never wanted to see or hear anything from his work wife again. The texting stopped, at least for a while.
The couple went on holiday, but the texting started again. When they got back, they just happened to run into the colleague and her husband at a restaurant. That’s when OP let it slip that she knew about their "marital problems", and things came to an awkward halt. When the couple got home, OP’s husband accused her of being out of line, but she’d had enough. She flat-out asked him if he had slept with his colleague. Turns out he had, only once, and before the couple had met. OP told him she wants a divorce, but hubby denies having any kind of affair.
Both OP’s mother and in-laws think she’s making a big fuss about nothing. Her husband has tried to talk about compromise, but OP says her gut is telling her something is way off, and she’s cut off all physical contact.
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
In 2015, the communications researchers M. Chad McBride, and Karla Mason Bergen, defined a “work spouse” relationship as “a special, platonic friendship with a work colleague characterized by a close emotional bond, high levels of disclosure and support, and mutual trust, honesty, loyalty, and respect.” Other researchers have made the claim that the connection actually sits somewhere between friendship and romance.
In an article she wrote for The Atlantic, contributing writer and former public-policy researcher, Stephanie H. Murray says, “The work marriage is a strange response to our anxieties about mixed-gender friendships, heightened by the norms of a professional environment.”
According to Dawn O. Braithwaite, Ph. D., the number of work spouses has increased due to: active organizational efforts to encourage employee camaraderie, longer hours spent working, in person or remotely, and cultural tendencies to name and define relationships. In a piece Braithwaite wrote for Psychology Today, she states that work spouses often function as a team and can protect one another, anticipating information or actions that are potentially hurtful or punitive. They provide an outlet for venting frustrations, celebrating successes, and navigating the complexities of organizational dynamics. She goes on to say that work spouses can be highly beneficial in the work environment and in life outside the organization.
That being said, having a work spouse can come with its challenges. Braithwaite explains, “Work-spouse relationships are often misunderstood and motives for being in them can be questioned. Some skeptics believe “work spouse” is a cover for romance or more intimate attraction. However, researchers stress that these are platonic relationships formed among all different types of employees and often among people who would not be romantically or otherwise attracted to one another.”
In the 2.5k comments, netizens backed up the young bride, saying that the husband’s behavior is shady. One user commented, “Your gut is correct, the fact he brought her to your home and watched her insult you, hid a relationship, hides all communication and makes you feel like [dirt] … run!!”
What do you think about the situation? Let us know in the comments!
Netizens weighed in in the comments section, letting the wife know she’s not being irrational, and that a number of boundaries are being crossed
