Inheritance is a bit of a slippery deal. Not just because it tickles a vice of sorts with all of the material (and immaterial) fortune folks can get just like that, but also because it reveals the parents’ disposition towards their offspring.
Needless to say, it can be upsetting, to a degree where it could drive someone to become entitled and livid without actually looking at the situation in perspective. A perspective where, ultimately, material things are only a hopeful piece of compensation for a thing taken that’s irreplaceable.
More Info: Reddit
Inheritance has always been problematic, no thanks to the folks inheriting everything as you can see the worst in them all because of this
Image credits: Expect Best (not the actual photo)
A brother recently broached the topic of an imbalanced inheritance, arguing all four kids should have gotten an equal cut, but the oldest got more
Image credits: u/Bitter_Research2372
The reason behind this imbalance was that the sister was "parentified" as she had to babysit her three brothers, and this was compensation
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)
There’s now a locked story on r/AITA, the internet’s favorite place for interpersonal arguments and conflict, about an unevenly split inheritance.
Reddit user u/Bitter_Research2372, one of four kids in the family, one of three brothers among the siblings, and the youngest of them all, recently shared how his sister is getting a bigger inheritance. Why?
Well, back in the day, the dad got screwed out of a business thing that put the family at a financial risk. In hopes of saving the situation, the oldest sibling, OP’s only sister, was assigned permanent babysitting duties. Mind you, this was all when the four were just kids. The age difference between them was 7, 9, and 10 years.
The parents felt bad about it and decided to split their inheritance five ways, with each brother getting 1/5 of the inheritance, and the sister getting a 2/5 share. You can guess how OP reacted to all of this.
Needless to say, OP was not happy. His reasoning for it was that the sister was the most well off of all of them and didn’t realistically need the extra inheritance. Plus, he didn’t really see much of a problem with the fact that sister spent the bulk of her childhood babysitting them because they weren’t difficult kids.
This in turn upset the parents, prompting them to say that the brothers ought to reflect upon themselves. The sister didn’t say anything during the talk, but did note in a text that while she had no intentions of taking the portion of her inheritance, she still thought the siblings were jerks about it.
And you know what? The internet agreed with her. And put things into perspective as well.
The author of the post, i.e. the youngest, didn't agree as he didn't see a problem there. In his eyes, the three brothers were low-maintenance
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Folks declared OP the jerk for a number of reasons, the biggest of which was the issue of being “parentified” (more on that later). This is one of the most literal definitions of being robbed of a childhood, and while the parents couldn’t really give her that, they acknowledged it, appreciated it, and tried their best.
Others motivated with the fact that none of the kids deserve any of that hard-earned money, realistically speaking. And so they have full right to decide where it goes. And if it’s an animal shelter, so be it. Would be a great lesson in entitlement.
And yet others approached it as a lack of empathy and perspective. When they were younger, they had no idea what it was like for their sister. They might think it was smooth sailing, but it’s hard to justify that because of all the entitlement folks can see in the post.
All in all, YTA, and the post got a bit over 14,000 upvotes as of this article.
However, many online gave some perspective, explaining that the sister's childhood is now gone all because she had to help out the parents
Image credits: Alexander Grey (not the actual photo)
Now, to the issue of parentification. If you’re not familiar with the term, parentification is essentially assigning parent responsibilities and duties to children, typically just one. But that’s just scratching the surface.
HealthLine explains that it can be more than just responsibilities and duties—but also love, comfort, emotional support and the like. And, what is worse, the child will most likely learn and take over these duties without a problem because, in their minds, it is interpreted as a way to maintain closeness to the parents.
The example we see in OP’s story is instrumental parentification, which is doing practical things around the house, like grocery shopping, or providing for the family financially, or the aforementioned babysitting. But there’s also emotional parentification, which is tending to the parents’ emotional needs, often repressing their own pain for the benefit of their parents’ emotional wellbeing.
While this does have its benefits—parentified kids establish closer ties with family and learn to be more self-sufficient and caring that way—it comes at a cost. And that is a strain on their mental health, resulting in issues of varying caliber, and an inability to have healthy relationships.
In perspective, while OP’s sister might be fine (there’s always a chance of coming out of it alive), you can now see how money wouldn’t resolve the years of mental stress and the years of her childhood period. But that’s just one perspective and we’d love to hear yours. So do that in the comment section below!
The community's verdict was that the brother was a jerk, no two ways about it
