What is the reason for a long-term friendship falling apart? There are situations when people simply "lose" each other after, for example, moving many miles away, and sometimes, life values and priorities change. Sometimes it happens that two people who were so “inseparable” before finally quarrel because of political overtones...
But very often, just agree, friendships fall apart because of romantic relationships. For example, when friends find themselves involved in a kind of love triangle and one of the parties has to step aside, thereby losing both love and friendship. But sometimes, and this is the saddest, such stories are associated with real betrayal - as was the case with the user u/sunny_throwaway0601, the author of today’s tale.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post has a best friend, "Clara," and they've been besties for many years - but this friendship is under menace now
Image credits: photoroyalty / Freepik (not the actual photo)
It all started when the author met some nice guy called "Brad" and had a special bond with him
Image credits: sunny_throwaway0601
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Alas, the very first meeting between Brad and Clara ended up in a major fight, and the woman issued an ultimatum to the author to cut him out of her life
Image credits: sunny_throwaway0601
Image credits: Emma Bauso / Pexels (not the actual photo)
So the author did, but then Clara disappeared for several months - only to come back as Brad's fiancée
Image credits: sunny_throwaway0601
The author was invited to their wedding, but she flatly refused to attend it, despite numerous attempts at coaxing from Clara and their mutual friends
So, the Original Poster (OP) tells us that she has a best friend - let's call her “Clara” - with whom she has been friends for many years. Clara has some issues with her mental health, and the author was always there to help her in any possible way. However, recently, this friendship, apparently, came to a sad end. And here's why.
One day, our heroine met a man named "Brad," and they hit it off very quickly due to many common topics of conversation. At this stage, it was nothing romantic, just a budding friendship - but who knew what would happen in the future. However, Brad's first meeting with Clara ended in a completely unexpected way. They had a major fight over some really minor reason, not agreeing on something.
As a result, they almost reached mutual insults, and the very next day, Clara issued the OP an ultimatum - either Brad or her... Well, our heroine valued her long-term friendship very much, so she didn’t hesitate for long, and at the next meeting with the man, she gently explained to him that they shouldn’t see each other anymore. He was saddened, but agreed - and a little later, Clara "disappeared" for a long time too.
How shocked the author was when, a few months later, she reappeared on the horizon - and invited the OP to her upcoming wedding... with Brad! As it turned out, they unexpectedly got together precisely because of him getting cut out by the OP - and then they realized that they were a perfect match. She refused to attend this wedding - even despite persuasion - and decided to seek support and advice online.
Image credits: prostooleh / Freepik (not the actual photo)
"I can, of course, admit that the outcome of this story was the result of an incredible coincidence, but professional experience suggests that everything is not so simple here," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment here. "Let's be honest, this looks like a rigged situation on the part of the friend."
"Sometimes it actually happens that a person, fearing that a friendship between two people will develop into something more serious, deliberately tries to break off the developing relationship between them, and then, when the person they like becomes 'free,' they can enter the game themselves."
"In the end, this looks more like the plot of a movie like 'Dangerous Liaisons,' than a harmless coincidence. So this woman's refusal to attend the wedding is completely justified, and is clearly related to a possibly traumatic experience for her. Well, most likely, she lost both a probable boyfriend and a longtime friend here - and, quite possibly, dodged a bullet with both of them," Irina sums up.
People in the comments also agreed that the original poster did the right thing, and said that although she and Brad didn’t have anything romantic, Clara’s deed cannot be regarded as anything other than betrayal. "Clara is a [bad] friend and [I] wouldn’t give her any more of your time and energy," someone aptly wrote. So do you, our dear readers, also agree with these conclusions? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.
Many commenters also considered this a betrayal and gave the author their support, urging her to cut them both out of her life from now on
