Martin Luther once said, “Nothing good ever comes of violence,” and how accurate was he! For no violent battle has ever ended without maiming one side so terribly that it takes an eternity to recover from. Surprisingly, there are a few people who fail to understand the gravity of violence, no matter how small.
Just like the original poster’s (OP) fiancée who slapped him during a heated argument. However, when he threatened to call off the wedding, he faced backlash from his friends and family. They even accused him of ‘massively overreacting’. Lost in confusion, he sought advice online.
More info: Reddit
This story is about a 28-year-old male who was supposed to get married to his 24-year-old fiancée in 6 months
Image credits: Jeremy Wong Weddings (not the actual photo)
But something happened between them that made the poster reconsider his marriage to this particular woman
Image credits: u/Educational_Tie_3335
Image credits: Andrew Le (not the actual photo)
One day, during a heated argument, she got angry and slapped him, which stunned him so much that he asked her to leave immediately
Image credits: u/Educational_Tie_3335
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
This violent behavior from her made him reconsider things and he wanted to call off the wedding and end the relationship with her
Image credits: u/Educational_Tie_3335
But he faced backlash from his friends and family who accused him of 'massively overreacting' and even called him 'crazy' for wanting to end things
Today, we dive into the grave story of Reddit user Educational_Tie_3335 who was stuck in a dilemma that completely rattled him. Let’s jump right into it. So, OP tells us that he was to be married to his fiancée in 6 months. However, things didn’t go as planned as the couple got into an argument about something very trivial.
The poster tried to keep things calm, however, overcome with anger, his fiancée slapped him, leaving him completely stunned. He asked her to leave but after she refused, he raised his voice and stressed, “You need to leave right now.” She obliged and went to stay with her sister. And this violent behavior made OP reconsider his decision to marry this woman.
And to be absolutely honest, nobody would want to be with a person who is capable of physically hurting them this way. However, his friends and family had a completely different opinion. This must’ve further hurt him because they all said that he was “massively overreacting” and even called him “crazy” for wanting to end things.
When he tried to defend himself by stating what the outcome would’ve been if the roles were reversed, they replied, “You’re significantly taller than her and physically stronger, while there's no chance she could ever physically overpower you.” Wow, that sounds so unreasonable and our heart just goes out to the poster.
But to make matters worse, he was even accused of weaponizing therapy language and appropriating the struggles of domestic cruelty victims. People even said that what happened to him was in no way comparable to what ‘genuine victims’ go through. Confused and disappointed altogether, he went online and asked for advice from the Reddit community.
They were surprised by the response that his friends and family gave because they felt that nobody should live in fear of their partner, and it doesn’t matter who is physically stronger as violence is never the answer to anything. They also stressed how domestic cruelty against men is overlooked and how unjust it can truly be. And we absolutely agree with them!
“When someone faces domestic violence from their partner, the impact can be profound. Emotionally, they can experience fear, anxiety, and depression. Their self-esteem erodes, and they may feel trapped or isolated. Long-term exposure to abuse can lead to complex trauma, affecting their overall well-being,” said Faizan Maniyar, a counselor that Bored Panda interviewed.
As Redditors pointed out, if she did it once, she could do it again and this repetitive cruelty could develop a complex trauma in the poster.
Image credits: Jeremy Perkins (not the actual photo)
A study has shown that one in seven men (13.9%) will be victims of domestic cruelty in their lifetime. However, these male victims are not always taken seriously. The Center for Social Justice states, “Men are silenced by the hostility and incredulity they encounter when opening up about their experiences to the police and safeguarding services.”
And although it’s sad, it’s a truth that can be quite bitter to digest. Faizan said, “When domestic violence against men isn't taken seriously, male victims face unique challenges. They may feel emasculated, ashamed, or hesitant to seek help due to societal norms. Lack of support can exacerbate feelings of isolation and vulnerability. It's crucial to recognize that men can also be victims and provide them with resources and empathy.”
But the fact that he lacked basic empathy from the people he was closest to, that is his family and friends, speaks volumes about how messed up things can be with the world. Another thing that the netizens shed light on was the hurt he must have felt to go through something at the hands of someone that he loved and hoped to spend the rest of his life with. As per them, her drastic behavior was totally unjustifiable.
According to Faizan, “Violent behavior during arguments often stems from underlying issues. Some individuals lack healthy coping mechanisms, resorting to aggression when stressed. Insecure attachment styles, unresolved trauma, or learned behavior from their upbringing can contribute, too. Substance misuse, power dynamics, and poor communication skills also play a role.”
Well, it doesn’t matter why the fiancée did it, what matters is that she actually did it and nothing can be an excuse in this matter. The folks online supported his wish to call off the wedding and end that relationship. They also cheered him on for making this decision instead of suffering more because of it. They also advised him that his family’s and friends’ lack of support should not hamper him in his decision as it would be him, and not them, who had to live with her.
Peeps also said that if they ever had kids, who knows, she could even get aggressive with them. They also expressed that her apology could not fix what she did and that ending things would be the best solution here.
Do you agree with them? Have you, or anyone you know, experienced something similar? If yes, would you like to share your experience with us? All you have to do is scroll down and type away in the comments. We would love to hear from you!
People online backed him up for his decision and talked about how male victims of domestic violence are overlooked and not taken seriously
