Planning, and consequently executing, a wedding is hard enough as it is without anyone trying to prod their requests, preferences, and opinions nobody asked for.
An Am I The A-Hole? story popped up some time ago about a deaf bride who was organizing a wedding for mostly deaf guests and hence decided to hold the ceremony in sign language. Well, her mostly not so deaf mother had something to say about that.
More Info: Reddit
Weddings are stressful already without someone imposing demands on how things 'ought to be'
Image credits: Virginia State Parks (not the actual photo)
So, Reddit user u/Academic-Nose-9239, who identified herself as a 24-year-old female, is deaf. Since childhood, she got bilateral cochlear implants and was forced to attend what she called a mainstream school, never being taught sign language, nor being introduced or immersed into deaf culture.
Despite her parents not wanting her to embrace her unavoidable condition, she still ended up learning ASL and got accepted into a deaf university, allowing her to feel more in her element. She even met her now husband there. And it turned out he’s from a very large family of deaf people, who OP loves dearly.
A deaf woman turned to the AITA community on Reddit, asking if she was wrong to plan her own wedding in sign language, despite her mom's protests
Image credits: Academic-Nose-9239
All was fine and dandy until they got to the wedding part of their lives. Since many of the guests were deaf, and it was more comfortable for her being without a hearing aid, it was decided to switch it up a bit and have the ceremony be held in sign language, with interpretation into English for the minority “signing impaired” as the invitation jokingly stated.
But, as soon as OP’s mother got the invite, she started furiously texting her, attempting to convince her to switch to English and have ASL be the language that’s interpreted. Her argument was that this is America and so the primary language should be English, and also everyone who “doesn’t choose to ‘get cured’ (get an implant)” should be the ones getting the translation.
Image credits: Academic-Nose-9239
Oh, and she also got offended by the ‘signing impaired’. The irony flew right over her head. Throughout the conversation, the mom kept on saying that she should have never let OP go to that school.
So, she passed the question on to the internet arbitrators on Reddit. At some point, she also made some edits to her post, clarifying certain things like her parents never even trying to learn ASL, the joke in the invitation, how she was not in fact indoctrinated, and whatnot.
Image credits: Academic-Nose-9239
Considering everything, people have ruled that she was not in the wrong to do what she did. While for some it was an easy ruling based on majority/minority numbers, others took the issue further and pointed that it’s her wedding, the mom should have already learned sign language by now, and this is besides how poorly the mom treated her daughter.
Image credits: Academic-Nose-9239
The post got quite a bit of attention, garnering over 21,300 upvotes and getting a lot of love from the Reddit community in the form of nearly 150 awards, engaging folks to a degree where there were over 3,000 comments in the comment section.
21k upvotes and 3k comments later, the community decided that OP isn't the a-hole, but her mom is
