Getting invited to a wedding is an honor. It signifies that the couple values you so much, they believe your presence will make their special day even more meaningful and memorable.
However, when Reddit user EdenCapwell was recently asked to attend a ceremony with her husband, the woman learned that she was expected to spend the entire event babysitting the children of other guests in a separate room, rather than participating in the celebration.
In a candid post on r/WeddingShaming, the invitee said she eventually found out that she was assigned to the mandatory duty due to her disability.
This woman just received what she believes to be the tackiest wedding invitation ever
Image credits: gpointstudio/Envato elements (not the actual photo)
And she couldn't help but share it online
Image credits: nosovaolha/Envato elements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: EdenCapwell
We got in touch with EdenCapwell and she said she had always loved the bride. "I was there when she was born. My husband and I helped her get her first car and paid her phone and insurance in college so she wouldn't need a part-time job," the Redditor told Bored Panda. "She was truly like a goddaughter to us. And the groom is related to us via marriage — the bride and groom met at a cookout at our house a year ago."
However, the author of the post believes the couple should have behaved better with other guests too.
"I think asking anyone to pay for a meal is just too much. I've been to weddings that have a basket set out for monetary contributions for the honeymoon but not the meal you're served. And being told that I was going to babysit without being asked was just so rude to me. It's rude. I thought we were a chosen family."
Image credits: seventyfourimages/Envato elements (not the actual photo)
When people want things to be 'perfect,' unreasonable expectations become more likely
We might assume that stories about ridiculous weddings are anomalies. However, some online discussions suggest that cringe is a somewhat common companion of these events.
"Weddings are still a significant life event or rite of passage for many women, and as such, they can become fixated on creating the 'perfect' event in anticipation that it will be 'the best day' of their lives. This can cause a lot of stress," integrative psychotherapist and couples counselor Hilda Burke explained.
Burke believes that the increasingly bigger financial demands of a wedding almost certainly contribute to the emotional pressure cooker — spending $33,000 on 10 hours of your life can definitely prompt a few irrational decisions.
Still, couples should strive to make sure their guests are comfortable and have a fabulous time at their wedding. Otherwise, why bother inviting people you do not want to be with you in the first place?
How they treat their wedding guests in the lead-up to their wedding sets the tone for what's to come and can have just as much of an impact on the guests' enjoyment as the big day itself.
Image credits: Craig Adderley/Pexels (not the actual photo)
People who read her post were just as appalled by the couple's insensitivity
Eventually, the woman got in touch with the mother of the bride
And the ugly truth was uncovered
Ableism in weddings can be a problem
According to Dominick Evans, a filmmaker and activist who works for the Center for Disability Rights, similar situations are more common than one might think.
Evans says that the consequences of such exclusions can diminish the person's self-esteem and can even lead to internalized ableism as well as the spread of the belief that a disabled individual is a burden to family and friends, even if these guests aren't.
"It is a horrible misconception that those of us with disabilities are jealous when we see others doing something it is assumed we cannot do. Really, most of us find another way to do things, even with a disability," he explained.
In an ideal world, the couple will proactively provide everything the guests might need to enjoy their ceremony. But this time, it wasn't the case.
"I would have been super upset not to be invited to the ceremony, but I think it would have hurt less than this," EdenCapwell added. "If they had told me there were limits on the attendees and they had to cut the guest list ... I could have accepted that. But again ... I've always been told I'm family to them and I've always treated them like family. So this is just devastating for me. And if they couldn't afford to feed the 200 plus guests they invited, I think all of us would be okay with smaller portions or not having an elaborate meal just to be part of their special day."
Sadly, the woman just feels like a lifelong friendship has ended. "I'm mourning this whole family as if they've died and my heart is shattered."