Weddings are supposed to be a special event for families to celebrate the joyous couple. The problem is that not all family members are supportive. Sometimes, they can be selfish and place their own needs above those of the bride and groom.
This is exactly what happened to a woman on her wedding day. She expected to have her family by her side during the ceremony and instead had to walk down the aisle all alone. The worst part is that her self-centered mom blamed her for everything that went wrong.
More info: Reddit
Heartbroken bride desperately waits for mom and grandma to show up to her wedding, they only turn up after it’s over and berate her for not waiting till they arrived
Image credits: Christian Diaz / unsplash (not the actual photo)
The bride’s mom, grandma, and family friend left for their hotel, which was 20 minutes away, around noon to get ready for the ceremony
Image credits: Yuliana Kungurova / pexels (not the actual photo)
The ceremony was supposed to start at 2 p.m. and could not be pushed later because the officiant had another wedding to get to after that
Image credits: freepic.diller / freepik (not the actual photo)
The bride had to walk herself down the aisle because her mom, grandma, and their family friend only showed up 45 minutes after the ceremony was done
Image credits: u/HunterQueen23
Her mom did not apologize for being late, she got angry with her daughter for not delaying the wedding for them and had so many excuses to try and justify her actions
A bride on her wedding day already has so much to deal with. The stress of wanting everything to go right, managing any last-minute changes, checking that everyone is having fun, and also making sure they look good. There is way too much to do, and no bride should have extra drama to deal with on such a big day. Unfortunately, this woman got more than she bargained for.
Her mother had driven 20 hours to be at her wedding. Around noon, the mom, grandma, and a family friend went back to their hotel to get ready. Even though the hotel was only 20 minutes away and they knew the ceremony was starting at 2 p.m., they turned up after everything was already over.
To understand why the family would do that, Bored Panda reached out to Dr. Yana Sirotkin, an applied developmental psychologist, researcher, and parenting expert. She has been working with parents and children for more than 15 years. Dr. Sirotkin helps parents overcome various age-related and relational challenges, support their children’s development, and build close, loving, and trusting family relationships.
We asked her why someone like the late-comer mom might disrespect their kid’s boundaries even if they know it will cause pain. She said, “It is much easier to be aware and respect someone’s boundaries when this person is a stranger, a boss, or an acquaintance than those of people closest to us since boundaries imply distance."
"And why would you want to have distance in the relationship with the people who have the most intimate relationships with you? Parents often see their main role as guiding their children in life, protecting them from harm, preventing disappointments, and assuring they make the best choices (in their view)."
"As a result, a parent may feel that even though they are disrespecting the child’s boundaries, ‘it is for their own good.’ In other words, these parents are reluctant to relinquish the control they have over their children and instead continue deciding what is best for their child, in their opinion,” Dr. Sirotkin added.
Imagine the bride’s confusion and worry as the ceremony drew nearer and her family was nowhere in sight. This type of behavior is not permissible at all. Friends and relatives of the bridal couple should be putting their needs aside and offering support to them on such a momentous occasion.
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / freepik (not the actual photo)
The poor bride had no choice but to walk herself down the aisle. When her family finally showed up, her mom was quite hostile. The mother made many excuses and even tried to blame the OP. The poster later found out that because her mom didn’t get ready fast enough, everyone got held up.
Dr. Yana explained what the bride could have done in such a situation. She said: “if the parent's actions cause frustration, anger, or upset us in any way, this is a clear indication that the parent has disrespected our personal boundaries. Once we clearly understand what is unacceptable, it is time to have a conversation with the parent and clearly communicate to them what we do not appreciate.”
“It is important not to come from an accusatory standpoint and avoid ‘you’ statements. Instead, use ‘I’ statements, for example, ‘I felt stressed out when the ceremony was being delayed. It makes me feel much better when everything is done on time.’ It will not be an easy conversation."
"When you shift the focus to your needs rather than accusing the parent of disrespecting you, there will be less resistance and more willingness on their part to try and change the problematic behavior,” she added.
It’s also important to understand that many things can go wrong on the wedding day and that it doesn’t signify anything bad for the couple's future. It’s essential to zoom out and remember that they still have a whole lifetime together and that these wedding hiccups won’t matter so much later on.
Dr. Sirotkin also stated that “it is important to remain flexible in setting our boundaries, especially with parents. Remember, that many of these violations are done not due to lack of respect, but because this is their way to show that they care and want the best for us. For example, the mom may have taken so long to get ready for the wedding because she wanted the daughter to have the best possible wedding photos.”
“When we show respect, patience, and acceptance of occasional mishaps towards our parents, it will be easier to break this cycle of disregard, frustration, and anger,” she shared. That being said, what everyone can hope for now is that the mom doesn’t pull such a stunt again.
What are your thoughts on this situation? Do you side with the mother or the daughter? Let us know in the comments.
People were annoyed with the mother for placing all the blame on her daughter and refusing to own up to her actions
