30 "They're Not Gonna Last Long" Moments Shared By Wedding Photographers

Third wedding and the best man, the groom's brother, starts his speech.... "Well, welcome back everyone. Good to see some new faces and some old ones."

Ooh ooh finally one of these I can contribute to. My mother was a wedding photographer till I was about 18-19 and I helped out on many of them. The one that stands out the most was when we were at a campsite where both the wedding and reception were being held.

About halfway through the reception I hear the groom start laughing maniacally. I peaked over his way and could see two groomsmen hauling the thrashing and screaming bride towards the lake. They threw her into the freezing cold water with her veil and dress still on. When she got out of the water I genuinely thought she might shoot somebody. Saying she looked like a drowned rat would have been an insult to rats. Her hair and makeup and probably the dress were ruined beyond repair. The fact that the groom laughed and didn’t do anything stuck with me as being a dog s**t move even as a teen. Apparently she thought so too because iirc they didn’t even make it 6 months.

When the groom told the bride she couldn't have cake because she was overweight. Lasted a year. He gained weight

Bride stabbed groom's mom.

I used to be a wedding photographer in Las Vegas at several hotels and downtown wedding chapels. I’ve got so many of these stories.

Here’s a fun one.

Monday - I get booked to shoot the wedding
Wednesday- hotel calls me to cancel because the bride backed out.
Thursday- hotel calls to rebook me because wedding is back on. Same groom but different bride.
Friday - I shoot the wedding with the new bride about 18 or 19 years old (groom was early 20s) and it’s clear they barely know each other. Bride just kept saying “this is so crazy, I can’t believe I’m doing this”. Neither could I. No, it wasn’t a mail order bride.

Here’s a sad one…
Older couple, I’d guess in their 40’s/50’s. The limo driver calls and tips me off that the bride is being a problem. She arrives and is extremely rude to everyone on the staff while the groom is being apologetic and super nice. The ceremony starts and she fast walks down the isle doesn’t wait for the groom. The groom sheepishly catches up at the altar. When it’s her time to say “I do” she says “yea whatever” in a b****y annoyed tone. The groom says “I do”. You could cut the tension in the room with the knife. The minister keeps things in track and finishes the ceremony and we get to the kiss. Instead of kissing the groom she turns her face and gives him her cheek. She then fast walks back down the isle, signs the paperwork and left. The groom was in tears. Never saw them again and I’m sure it didn’t last.

Here’s another…
I would guess the bride was in her 70s and the groom was in his early 20s. One side of the chapel was all walkers and oxygen tanks while the other was drunk 20 something’s. Pretty sure it was a money grab but it was notable because normally the genders are reversed on these kind of weddings.

Another fun one….
Wedding was at the top of the stratosphere tower. The couple shows up and the bride is a new age crystal type very, let’s say, spiritual and the groom straight up looks like a 1849 gold miner. Rope belt, floppy hat, 3 teeth the whole thing. The bride tells me there would be spirits and angles in the photos and the reason they got married at the stratosphere is because it’s the closest place to heaven that they could get married. They were so weird about it and said so many times that they wanted to be with god and go to heaven that the hotel had the bomb dog sniff them before getting on the elevator to go to the top. We lie and tell them it’s standard practice to have the dogs sniff everyone. Wedding happens and they start chanting nonsense words (speaking in tongues?) then proceed to have the grossest make out session I’ve ever seen. Turns out they met that week in AA.

First Dance: I still haven't found what I'm looking for, by U2.

Bride was such a monumental b***h her mom gave me a $500 tip for not walking out on the event when she was treating everyone (even her now husband) like a piece of s**t employee.

She did the whole clicking fingers thing when wanting someone to do something for her, and she berated the dj for grabbing a sandwich when he'd been there for about 8 hours and was told that he should've brought his own lunch and she would be taking the cost of the food (like an open buffet style) out of his paycheck.

They were divorced within 3 years, but not before having 3 kids that have stupid names.

One of the bridesmaids cried the entire time from makeup till reception. Would have nothing to do with the groom. Kept wanting photos of just her and the bride. 8 months later, bride and groom are separated and she up and elopes with the bridesmaid.

No joke. I recognized the groom from a Grindr.

Her 3 kids from a previous marriage (8, 9, and 12) were screaming their as*es off and covering themselves in soda and overturning tables while making extremely hostile, profanity laden demands for a driveable hot wheels car, and escalated to just randomly hitting people with baseball bats. whole time mom was going "haha, aren't they so crazy. oh its ok they just get to express themselves. we unschool,"

lasted (afaik) somewhere between four and five months

When cutting the cake, she playfully got some on his face. He proceeded to grab a giant chunk and PUNCH her in the face with it, several times hard. She was digging it out from underneath her eyelids bawling and her Dad needed to be held back.

EDIT: Alot of people have been asking, so here is a bit more backstory. My guess as to why people were holding the Dad back was that the Groom was in full Marine dress uniform and they used his sword to cut the cake, that sword was very much in arms reach of the Groom after this happened, so everyone was probably worried something really bad could happen if those two got near each other. After the incident, it was really awkwardly silent as the Groom apologized to the family and if I remember correctly (this was 10 years ago or so) him and the Dad went outside for around 20 minutes, then came back in. The rest of the reception went normally after that.

When right after the ceremony we took a moment to have canapés and the bride started making out with her bridesmaid in front of all of us, her new husband included.

And another time where the groom went missing during the evening and the bride found him in bed with another women the next morning, also the bride had a gun and yes the groom was shot.

When the Maid of Honor tells the story of when the Bride had sex in a Burger King bathroom with someone that wasn't her now husband. They broke the sink, then you see the groom start tearing up. We found out later that the groom ended up paying for the damage to the sink and the Bride made up some BS story.

Over coffee, at our initial "do they want to hire me" meeting. They argued bitterly the entire time and eventually, the groom just sat back in his chair with his arms crossed and wouldn't speak to either of us. I went home and the next day, emailed them the old "something suddenly came up" and that my schedule had unfortunately changed. Red flags aren't just for the people in the relationship. Vendors, see them and heed them.

At the rehearsal dinner, every toast to the bride was some euphemistic variation of “I’m so glad you finally found someone to put up with your b******t.”

They barely made it to the 6 month mark.

Wedding photographer from India here:

1. Bride's mom dissed non-stop about the groom to a couple of our photographers. She believed that her daughter is too beautiful for the guy they promised her hand to and how she'd rather have him die sooner than seeing him with her daughter post the wedding.

2. Bride and the groom had the first dinner separately because the bride wasn't just in the mood to have their reception dinner together.

3. This is one is the final nail in the coffin - post the wedding when we were about to photograph portraits of the couple, the groom walked up to us saying that he's too tired from the wedding, so it'd be better if we could use the photos from the previous weddings we shot and morph his face on to those and walked away.

They divorced three months later.

Wedding was on a golf course. Bride had a vision she wanted of her husband driving up on a golf cart to see her for a first look.

He got one look at her from the top of the hill and vaulted the cart, ran down the hill, picked her up and twirled her around to tell her how gorgeous she was. We caught it all. It was the best first look ever.

Once he set her down she straightened herself and looked back to us. “Okay, I don’t want that. Let’s do the golf cart now.” And she sent him back up.

I was asked if I wanted to come up to the hotel room and film "a movie" wink wink nudge nudge... with the bride... It was not the groom asking this...but the best man... and she was right beside him...The groom was hanging out with some friends and her dad...

I kindly declined

The bride and groom were stepsiblings whose parents forced them to get married after finding out they were hooking up, and they lived six hours apart and had no intention of changing that living situation. That was also the most extravagant and expensive wedding I had ever shot. I don't know how long they lasted but it was not long.

When the groom looked at her like she was the love of his life, and she treated the day like her Prom and ignored him. I think they lasted six months.