Mothers-in-law get a bad rap but let’s be honest, sometimes they really do deserve it. Mix an overbearing mother-in-law-to-be with wedding planning, then, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster or, at the very least, high drama on your hands.
That was exactly the scene facing one bride-to-be who turned to an online community to vent about how her future mother-in-law, a total control freak, tried to hijack her wedding planning from day one. When she put her foot down, though, chaos ensued.
Your wedding is one of the few days in your life that should be all about you, but some people will always want to be the main character
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One woman found herself in an awkward situation after her fiancé’s mom tried to hijack the wedding planning immediately after the engagement
Image credits: anderson76 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
From venue to dress, the future mother-in-law thought she had it all worked out, until the bride-to-be was forced to give her a reality check
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After she got pushback, she had a complete meltdown, calling her future daughter-in-law a slur for denying her the chance to “live out her dream”
Image credits: Oliverjenkis
Things only got worse when the bride said she didn’t want anyone taking photos of the ceremony, so she’s asked netizens if wanting to plan her own wedding makes her a jerk
The original poster (OP) says her future mother-in-law isn’t just controlling; she’s practically been running a one-woman documentary on her son since birth. Clothes, choices, life decisions? All handled by mom. She even announced years ago she’d plan his wedding too, and whoever he married would just have to “be fine with that.”
Spoiler alert: OP was not fine with that. Once engaged, her future mother-in-law swooped in like a wedding-themed helicopter parent, telling her where the wedding would be and which dresses she could pick from. OP shut it down fast, insisting this was her wedding. The old woman exploded, calling her selfish for crushing her “dream”.
Things really blew up when OP asked for a phone-free ceremony and first dance. Not the whole wedding, just those special moments. She wanted guests present, not blocking views with screens. When she explained this calmly, her mom-in-law-to-be went nuclear, calling her insane, refusing to comply, and promptly going no-contact.
Now OP’s wondering if she’s the villain for standing her ground. She fears her future mother-in-law will hijack the day with chaotic group photos and boundary-stomping antics. She’s even considering uninviting her if she can’t respect the rules. Cue the moral crisis: is she protecting her wedding, or torching future family ties?
If OP’s future mother-in-law is trying to control the wedding, what will she try to control next? We can only guess. So, what’s the deal with overbearing mothers-in-law? And what is it about wedding planning that makes people lose their minds?
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Experts from Choosing Therapy, say that an overbearing mother-in-law craves dominance and control. She often makes every situation about herself; she’ll make sure you know exactly what she wants and how she wants it done.
Schwartz shares 7 signs of an overbearing mother-in-law. Some include her never respecting your boundaries, being judgmental, pressuring you to do what she wants, and needing to be the center of attention. Sounds a lot like OP’s future mom-in-law, right? And she isn't even a legit mother-in-law yet.
The pros over at Psychology Today say that, when bridal parties scrap over venues, menus, and colors, the actual point of the disagreement can quickly become less about the centerpieces and more about who has the power to make the decision about them. Is it just us, or does that all seem ripe for some juicy drama?
So, how do you cope with pushy family, anyway? Well, wedding experts, Firmly Rooted Events, suggest changing the topic, asking them questions, blaming your planner (they can take the hit, trust us), and not being afraid to lay down boundaries - sort of like OP did - with a vengeance.
We’d say OP has every right to decide how her big day goes down. Sticking to her guns now couldn’t be more important, and an unmistakable signal to her future mother-in-law that she’s no pushover, now or ever. You go girl.
What’s your take? Was OP a jerk for putting her foot down, or should she have let her mom-to-be have a say about the couple’s special day? Drop your thoughts in the comments!
In the comments, readers agreed that the bride-to-be was definitely not the jerk in the situation and asked where her fiancé was in the whole mess
