44 Parents’ Rules People Didn’t Realize Were Unhinged Until They Grew Up

We had the opportunity to speak with several experts who shared valuable insights about these unusual parenting practices. Counselor and psychotherapist Hanna Lewis from Compare My Health Insurance says parents implement unusual or rigid rules to either manage uncertainty, exert control, or protect their kids from perceived harm. 

As Lewis tells Bored Panda, these rules may reflect their anxiety about safety or their need for structure that feels reassuring.

Licensed marriage and family therapist Lea Trageser concurs that questionable rules may be a product of fear on the part of parents. But as she points out, these actions aren’t done for no reason. 

“The rules are maladaptive attempts at fixing a problem that the parents witness or fear,” she explained.

The thing is, these unusual rules carry potential repercussions, particularly on the child’s psyche. Trageser says that if a child grows up in an environment where they aren’t allowed to ask “why,” they may struggle to stand up for themselves. 

Meanwhile, Lewis says irrational rules may suppress a child’s curiosity, autonomy, and trust. And when they grow up, they may carry guilt, anxiety, and resentment as adults.

There is also a possibility that these rules will become obsolete as the child grows up. According to parenting author Tim McCarthy, some children may eventually become more ready to comprehend their parents’ explanations. However, parents must also do their part. 

“When the child is older, change the rule or at least explain why you made the rule, so they understand,” McCarthy said.

It would be a natural knee-jerk response to deem such actions as irresponsible parenting. But at the end of the day, it all comes down to them trying to do their best. 

McCarthy put it succinctly: “Parents don't have to be perfect; they just have to be loving and do the best they can.”

Speaking of parents taking action, Trageser encourages parents to reflect on generational patterns. She emphasized the importance of, at the very least, trying to break the cycle, especially if they were also raised in an environment where absurd rules were in place. 

“Without the guidance of a professional or intentional self-reflection, that is when the attempts can become harmful and maladaptive,” Trageser said.