
“He Named All His 5 Daughters After Me”: 46 Posts That Prove Some Exes Are Truly Unhinged
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Sometimes relationships end amicably, with both parties agreeing that it's best to go their separate ways. But more often than not, one person wants out while the other still has feelings. In a perfect world, the rejected partner will accept their loss and try to move on. But we don't live in a perfect world, and that's why we see so many stories about unhinged exes doing some really weird stuff.
“Certain attachment styles can play out in the break-up of a relationship,” explains Jo Coker, a psychologist and the director of therapy and training standards at the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (COSRT). “For those whose attachment style is insecure, a breakup can be especially hard and they may find themselves struggling to cope, becoming ‘clingy,' and not wanting to let go.”
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The expert adds that some people react spitefully to being dumped, in a bid to protect their own pride.
“When humans are hurt, often they will project their hurt and anger onto the perceived cause of the pain,” Coker told Cosmopolitan. “They are trying to make them feel their pain, and suffer for the hurt they have caused.”
According to Dr. Randi Gunther, a California-based clinical psychologist and marriage counselor with over 40 years of experience, there are many cases where the rejected partner simply doesn't understand why the relationship ended the way it did.
"Confused and deeply wounded, they can only ease their distress by continuing to push for a resolution," says Gunther. "Until those needs are met, they cannot let go."
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Gunther says there are many reasons why some people struggle to let go of relationships. One is because they're naturally excessively dependent by nature.
"Partners exhibiting extreme dependence on the other are often suppliant, over-agreeable, and non-challenging. Those behaviors may be initially attractive to someone who doesn’t like hassle, but overwhelming as time goes on," explains Gunther. "The continuous need for reassurance becomes burdensome."
Cue: bad breakup. One that the dependent party can't understand or accept.
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Their behavior might manifest in different ways. Perhaps they keep bad-mouthing you to friends, they take digs at you on social media, they won't stop messaging you, they still pine for you even after you've moved on with someone else, or, like some weirdos on this list, they name their kids after you once they've seemingly moved on...
When it comes to an ex trash-talking you, Coker says it's often done to mask feelings. “People are often hurt and may still love the person they have broken up with,” Coker explains, “and they project this hurt and try to get validation of their position as the discarded partner by trying to convert others to their viewpoint [that you’re a bad person].”
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In highly 'passionate' or volatile relationships, the drama continues long after the flame is extinguished. It becomes a case of making up and breaking up, and when the breakup is really, really final, one or both parties struggle to believe, or accept, it.
"Many people live in extremely chaotic relationships that should be ended much sooner than they typically are because the good times are remarkable," says Gunther. "Over time the relationship, despite its phenomenal moments, begins to cost too much for one of the partners. The partner left behind is often confused, humiliated, and rageful, believing the other would never quit."
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Coker warns that communication is key when it comes to breaking up. “A lingering ex who contacts unsolicited, either physically or by [online] messages, can make people feel very uncomfortable," says the expert, "which is why it is very important to be clear in a breakup and not to try and soften it too much to spare feelings.”
An ex that just won't let go can also threaten or sabotage your future relationships and happiness. "A lingering ex can [make] a new partner feel there is 'unfinished business,' which may prevent the new relationship from taking off as they feel second-best," cautions Coker.
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Sometimes an ex's behavior is mildly annoying or even laughable. But other times it crosses over into more serious territory. If this happens, or you start to feel harassed, threatened or scared, it's important to take your feelings seriously. Seek professional help and don't hesitate to call the police before things get out of hand.
Have you had an experience with a nutcase ex? Let us know all about it in the comments section below...
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