40 Nosy Parents Who Got More Than They Bargained For While Digging Through Kids’ Rooms

We had the opportunity to speak with some experts, who were gracious enough to share their insights with us. One of them is Elaine Taylor-Klaus, CPCC, MCC, certified parenting coach and CEO of Impact Parents. 

As she tells Bored Panda, parents must first and foremost approach such situations with curiosity. Asking questions like, “Was it something the kid discovered on their own?” or “Did someone else introduce it to them?” instead of assuming that you know what’s going on. 

Family and life coach Randi Crawford describes weird stuff in a kid’s room as a “universal law of childhood.” While she also urges approaching with curiosity instead of a “detective’s badge,” she also discourages sharing it on social media for strangers to see. 

“Your goal is trust and connection with your child; this isn’t Law & Order SVU, it’s their life,” Crawford said. “And we want them to come to us in times of trouble.”

For licensed marriage and family therapist Jason Aaronson, it’s about finding the balance between knowing what’s going on and maintaining the child’s personal space. And if the said items don’t constitute danger, Aaronson urges approaching with nurture, not judgment. 

“It is better to lower their defenses and provide them with the space to voice their opinions. A good example would be framing a conversation without mentioning the specific object in question,” said Aaronson, who is also the executive and clinical director of Golden Road Recovery.

It is a parent’s instinct to want to talk to their child upon finding something they have deemed unusual. And if you must do so, Taylor-Klaus emphasized the importance of asking permission about having an uncomfortable conversation. 

She also strongly advises against making accusations, instead giving the benefit of the doubt.

Embarrassing a child about your discovery is also a huge no-no, according to Crawford. Instead of giving lectures, she advises keeping conversations short and neutral.

“This is where you want to listen more than you talk because your goal is to have an open conversation, not a cross-examination,” Crawford said.

Children may reach a point where they explore “weird” stuff as a way to fulfill their curiosity. But where does a parent draw the line between “this is typical kid behavior” and “this is a cause for concern?” Crawford says it’s when you begin finding “unidentifiable things” that may potentially cause harm. 

“If it makes you pause, then absolutely trust that instinct. Nothing is stronger than a mom’s gut,” she said.