IFS Data Reveal Men Still Cheat More, But The Gender Gap Is Closing Fast

The Institute for Family Studies (IFS) reports that men are more likely to cheat in a relationship.

Among surveyed men, 20% admitted to being intimate with someone else while married, compared to 13% of women. The survey included adults who were currently or previously married.

However, since the data relies on self-reporting, it’s impossible to know how many affairs were confessed to or conveniently left out.

People may consciously or unconsciously misrepresent their actions for various reasons, including social pressure, poor memory, or limited self-awareness, according to Fiveable.

That’s where things start to get more interesting.

While men are generally more likely to cheat, women aged 18 to 29 show a slightly higher infidelity rate (11%) compared to men in the same age group (10%) among ever-married adults.

The gender difference widens in the 30-to-34 age group, with men more frequently admitting to infidelity. Both men and women are more likely to cheat during their middle-aged years.

Among all age brackets, women in their 60s have the highest reported infidelity rate at 16%, although this figure declines steadily into their 70s and 80s.

Men, by contrast, report the highest infidelity rate in their 70s, peaking at 26%.

Life stages clearly shape infidelity patterns. The concept of the Seven-Year Itch, made famous by the 1955 Marilyn Monroe film, aligns with research suggesting that infidelity and divorce are more common around the seven-year mark of marriage (per Psychology Today).

Additionally, parenthood in long-term relationships is linked to marital strain. Emotional neglect, loss of personal identity, and decreased sexual desire can contribute to cheating (via Forbes).

Gen Z is redefining what modern relationships look like. Research highlights that their idea of a healthy romantic connection differs significantly from older generations (per BBC).

These digital natives approach love with a more pragmatic mindset. They often value flexibility and freedom over long-term commitment, unlike previous generations.

Similarly, Millennials are also leaning into “situationships” alongside Gen Z. These loosely defined, commitment-light arrangements are becoming an increasingly common part of dating culture.

"I think it's becoming a really popular part of dating culture, at least for Gen Z and people in the young millennial, Gen Z age," said 26-year-old Amanda Huhman, who embraced the ambiguity of being with someone without labeling it as a committed relationship.

Roughly 22% of married men have had an affair at least once, compared to 14% of married women, with the average affair lasting about two years (per Psychology Today).

People in cohabiting relationships are even more likely to be unfaithful than their married counterparts, as found in research by Civitas: Institute for the Study of Civil Society.

One possible explanation is that the legal commitment of marriage may deter infidelity, whereas cohabiting relationships tend to be easier to exit.

However, this does not explain why individuals who lived with multiple partners before marriage show a significantly higher risk of cheating. Those who cohabited at least twice before marrying were 15 percentage points more likely to be unfaithful than those who did not (via IFS).

Cheating behaviors tend to increase when individuals are economically dependent on their partners, according to a study titled "Her Support, His Support: Money, Masculinity, and Marital Infidelity" (per American Sociological Association).

“You would think that people would not want to ‘bite the hand that feeds them,’ but that is not what my research shows,” said study author Christin L. Munsch, a sociology professor at the University of Connecticut. “People prefer feeling equal in their relationships. Dependence on another person makes them uncomfortable.”

Women who fully rely on their husbands have a 5% likelihood of cheating. In contrast, economically dependent men are three times as likely to cheat, at 15%.

Munsch explains this gender gap by pointing to masculine norms. Men who don’t fulfill the culturally expected role of breadwinner may engage in extramarital sex to reassert their masculinity.

“For men, especially younger men, masculinity is often defined by sexual conquest and virility. Infidelity may serve as a way to reclaim lost status and to emotionally distance themselves from or punish their higher-earning spouses.”

Education also plays a role in infidelity trends. An Ashley Madison survey found that individuals with lower education levels are generally more faithful (via Daily Express).

Among the 1,500 respondents, 53% of those who cheated held a higher education level than their spouse. In 56% of cases, the extramarital partner had a lower education level than the spouse.

Men and women cheat for different reasons, according to a global survey across 19 countries. Women often cited relationship dissatisfaction, desire for variety, or revenge as key motivators (per The Independent).

In contrast, men frequently pointed to insecurity and the need for validation from women other than their partner. Many self-identified cheaters claimed to love their partner still deeply but sought affection and attention that had faded.

The thrill and novelty of sex outside the relationship also factored into male cheating behaviors.

"Men often report feeling energized when they are cheating," notes The Marriage Counseling Blog. "Women report they cheat because they are unhappy in their current relationship."

Dr. Carolyne Keenan, resident psychologist on BBC Radio 1’s Life Hacks, further explained that men are generally motivated by physical factors like sexual desire and variety. Women, by contrast, tend to cite emotional disconnection or feeling unappreciated.

Keenan identified "the desire for sexual variety or novelty” as a major driver for men. For some, it’s about the opportunity—being in the right place at the wrong time (via BBC).

Dr. Sarah Meehan O’Callaghan, a researcher whose work explores cultural change and shifting gender dynamics, added that “In recent years, our society has undergone rapid change for both men and women, due to shifts in patriarchal dogma and the overturning of sources of authority that once held widespread sway. Gender roles are no longer what they once were but this can lead to increased insecurity on the part of males as well as liberation. ”

Evolutionary psychology presents one explanation for gendered cheating behavior. A 2017 study by La Trobe University claims men are more likely to pursue casual sex to increase reproductive success, while women are more inclined to be selective due to the burdens of pregnancy and breastfeeding.

This theory contrasts with Albert Bandura’s social learning theory (SLT), which challenges the idea that “boys will be boys.” SLT argues that people model behavior by observing others, suggesting male cheating tendencies stem more from cultural norms than biological wiring.

DMs, sexting, and online dating apps have made cheating easier and more discreet than ever.

Dr. Peter Kanaris, a couples therapist and expert in sexual health, argues that “cyber-infidelity” should be taken just as seriously as physical affairs.

“Many people fall into the trap of believing that cyber affairs are not ‘cheating’ because these affairs are emotional, not physical, or because there is no ‘in-person’ sex being had. But this is a rationalization that attempts to minimize the offense and evade responsibility,” he told Psychology Today.

A Compare and Recycle survey revealed how digital infidelity plays out differently between genders. Men are over twice as likely to check their partner’s phone, while women reported stronger suspicion and concern over their partner’s phone habits.

Of the 2,000 adults surveyed, 18% had caught their partner engaging in online cheating, and in over half of those cases, the relationship ended.

A 2023 study from the National Center for Biotechnology Information found that infidelity can have serious psychological consequences for both men and women. Emotional fallout often includes anxiety, depression, anger, helplessness, and even suicidal thoughts. These symptoms are closely tied to the threat of divorce or separation.

Despite the damage, psychologists say couples can sometimes heal from infidelity. Rebuilding trust is challenging but possible by following eight steps: recognizing the harm done, processing the betrayal, giving space for forgiveness, committing to repair, communicating openly, taking concrete actions to rebuild trust, reestablishing intimacy, and creating a shared vision for the relationship’s future (via Forbes).