Even though temper tantrums can sound like a disaster for any parent, they can be seen as opportunities for education. According to Kids Health, a platform that provides doctor-reviewed advice on physical, emotional, and behavioral topics, temper tantrums range from whining and crying to screaming, kicking, hitting, and breath-holding. They're equally common in boys and girls and usually occur between the ages of 1 to 3.
"There are two types of temper tantrums: emotional and non-emotional," Pamela Li, the creator and Chief Editor of Parenting For Brain told Bored Panda. "Emotional tantrums are caused by out-of-control emotions such as disappointment, anger, sadness. When that happens, a child's behavior is controlled by the emotional brain (Limbic) while the thinking brain (Pre-frontal Cortex) is inaccessible, and therefore you cannot talk reasons with them. Non-emotional tantrums are seen as manipulative acts because the child's behavior is deliberate and controlled by the thinking brain. But non-emotional tantrums are often associated learning (conditioning) created by parents' previous unintended reaction (giving in)."
Some kids may have tantrums more often than others, but they're a normal part of child development. It's how young children show that they feel tired, hungry, or uncomfortable in some other way. They can also have a meltdown because they can't get a toy or a parent to do what they want. Learning to deal with frustration is something that children learn over time.
"Most 'ridiculous' tantrums are emotional tantrums because it's hard for adults to understand why someone could be upset about things that don't seem important to us," Li added. "Parents can actually turn them into teaching moments. Things to teach include: 1) emotional regulation: how to stay calm themselves instead of yelling at the child; 2) vocabulary: how to express themselves using words; 3) empathy: how to empathize with others and not make fun of their pain."
Because toddlers can't yet express what they want, feel, or need in words, a frustrating experience can manifest itself in the form of a tantrum. So, when a child's language skills improve, tantrums tend to decrease.
The most important thing a parent has to keep in mind during a kid's tantrum is keeping their cool. Their own frustration or anger only complicates the problem more. Helping a child to learn to calm down should be the main focus so moms and dads need to be calm, too. For more information about how to deal with temper tantrums, check out this article by Parenting For Brain.
