Each of us has a past, happy and sad, rich in good and bad events. And no matter how someone tries to change it, erase some elements of this past - it will always remain with us. As long as there is someone who cares about this past.
The user u/Busy_Spinach_6445, the author of the story we are going to tell you now, lost his sister three years ago. And it's quite reasonable that the memory of her is still alive in him and in his house. However, as it recently turned out, not everyone actually likes it...
More info: Reddit
The author of the post lost his sister 3 years ago, and she left 2 kids, whose dad is his best friend
Image credits: Vidar Nordli-Mathisen / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Time passed, and the dad remarried another woman, 'Hazel' - but her relationship with the author is, alas, far from cloudless
Image credits: Busy_Spinach_6445
Image credits: JD Mason / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The lady feels jealous of the memory of her husband's late ex, especially since the kids still miss their mom
Image credits: Busy_Spinach_6445
Image credits: Arun Prakash / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
So recently Hazel turned to the author asking him to take down all his sister's photos in his home
Image credits: Busy_Spinach_6445
At first the man thought she couldn't be serious, but then gave her entitled demand a flat-out 'no'
So, the Original Poster (OP) is a man whose sister Anna, alas, passed away 3 years ago, leaving two children, who are now 9 and 7 years old. After some time, Josh, the father of the kids and the author's best friend, decided to move on and started dating Hazel. And a year ago, he and Hazel got married.
And so, probably, the very presence of the OP as an obvious reminder of her husband's past invariably upsets his friend's new wife. While he and Hazel have a good relationship, they are still not that close. And the very fact that the uncle often takes the children to his place doesn't make the lady happy either.
And the kids still continue to miss their mom - especially the eldest girl, who remembers her well. According to Hazel, this prevents her from getting along with the stepkids. By the way, at the wedding, it was the uncle who took care of the kids at the dad's request - and even then the bride didn't like it, because she wanted her parents to look after them.
And so, about a week ago, Hazel directly told the author that she would like him to remove all the photos of his sister from the walls of his house. Even those where they were depicted together with her. Even her drawings and paintings, which she gifted to him years ago. According to the woman, this upsets her and prevents the kids from moving on as well.
At first, our hero didn't believe that Hazel was serious, he thought it was just a bad joke. But she was actually damn serious. She said that 'Anna was the past,' and she, Hazel, was 'the future,' and that life doesn't stand still.
Of course, the author said 'no.' This led to a major quarrel, and after learning the reasons, Josh immediately went home with his wife, asking his friend to look after the niblings for a couple of days. We don't know what they were going to talk about there, but before leaving, Hazel said that the uncle would definitely talk to the kids about Anna, and even called him an 'insensitive jerk.'
Image credits: Jonny Caspari / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Well, the situation is actually not that rare. At least, we've talked about something similar several times. "It seems to me that the issue here is not so much in the memory of the man's late wife, but in the insecurity of his new wife," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. "But she doesn't want to admit this insecurity to herself."
"As a result, instead of starting to establish good relations with the stepkids and their uncle, she tries to build a completely wrong, flawed system of relations. In any case, the uncle will always be here - because he is the uncle of these kids, because he is her husband's best friend. And his sister will always be here too. More precisely, the memory of her."
"And instead of fighting the memory of the late woman, she had better move ahead herself. Attempts to 'rewrite the past' rarely lead to good results. However, I still hope that everything will be fine in this family, and they will all find a common language together," Irina believes sincerely.
But the commenters under the original post are simply sure that Josh made an unfortunate choice. "OMG Josh has married a delusional nutter. Keep your niblings close and Hazel far, far away," someone wrote angrily. "Your best friend picked a real doozy as a wife. I feel bad for these kids," another person agreed.
As for the author's reaction, it was completely reasonable, the responders are absolutely sure. "Anna was your sister, not just Josh's wife. It's perfectly reasonable for you to have photos of her and her art in your own home," another commenter added. And do you, our dear readers, also agree with this appraisal of the situation?
People in the comments unanimously sided with the author, suspecting his bestie of making a poor choice of a new wife
