Being truly in touch with your feelings can be difficult because it requires vulnerability and honesty with yourself. This can be tough for some folks who’ve never actually tried to open up and don’t even know what that looks like.
This is the situation a man found himself in after 10 years of marriage, all because his wife was sick of him being so emotionless. Unfortunately, he just didn’t know how to share his feelings and felt like if he didn’t do something about it soon, his marriage would end.
More info: Reddit
A healthy relationship requires both people to be completely honest with one another and to be vulnerable, or else it may not work out well
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that even though he had been married to his wife for 10 years, he didn’t know how to open up to her emotionally, and that made her feel miserable
Image credits: drobotdean / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Even though the man tried to share how his day went before, his wife always put down his boss, coworkers, and IT job, which she didn’t understand much
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Besides his wife, the man didn’t have any support system since he wasn’t in touch with his family and his only friend cut contact as he didn’t like the poster’s spouse
Image credits: Effective-Reading408
The man kept trying to figure out how to open up emotionally, but his wife refused to explain what she wanted him to do, so he felt their marriage was on its last legs
The poster explained that even though he had been with his wife for a decade, their marriage seemed to be unhappy. He was mostly content with their relationship, but his wife didn’t seem to be pleased because he never opened up about his feelings. He also didn’t think her worries were about money, since she was a stay-at-home mom and he managed the finances.
Even if people have been together for a long time, experts explain that they can still be dissatisfied with their relationship. The reason for this unhappiness could be because both people aren’t communicating enough with each other, or sharing what they’d like the other person to do for them.
In this case, though, the poster’s wife had repeatedly told him that she expected him to be more emotionally available and to share his thoughts with her. Unfortunately, the guy simply couldn’t understand what it meant to open up, and since he struggled so much with the idea, he usually didn’t say much to his wife.
Some folks do have a much harder time being vulnerable, and professionals explain that this could be because they might never have had anyone to open up to. It could also be that keeping their emotions hidden or in check was their coping mechanism, which can be harder to undo after many years.
Image credits: hryshchyshen / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The poster explained that he didn’t have much to talk about when it came to his job, especially since his wife always bad-mouthed his coworkers and his boss. She also didn’t understand his line of work at all, and she wanted him to find a new job, which he wasn’t really interested in doing.
Apart from his wife, the man didn’t really have much of a support system because he wasn’t in touch with his family. Even his one close friend had cut him off after he got married because the other guy didn’t like his wife. It also seems like his spouse always found a way to put down anyone who was close to him, which is why he didn’t have any close relationships except for her.
Regardless of how much of an effort the man seemed to make, his wife found a way to criticize him. According to mental health experts, when one partner is dismissive, controlling, or extremely toxic, like this, these are all signs of an unhealthy relationship, and something that can be hard to get out of.
In this case, the poster seemed to want to improve his marriage by trying to open up to his wife. Unfortunately, he couldn’t figure out how to be more vulnerable, and his wife just kept putting more pressure on him. Hopefully, this couple can resolve their conflict in the future, or else their marriage may suffer in the long run.
Based on everything you’ve read in this story, what do you think is the best solution for this man? We’d love to hear your point of view.
Most folks provided the poster with valuable suggestions on how he could open up more, and they also suggested that he go to therapy
