Nowadays, people are faced with so much stress and pressure that it’s just a matter of time before they start feeling overworked or overwhelmed.
Take this redditor’s husband, for instance. Once a smiley and goofy man, the dad of two, with another baby on the way, became robot-like, making his wife seriously concerned. She turned to the ‘Relationship Advice’ subreddit, seeking advice on how to deal with the situation, sharing that she misses her husband, “not this robotic shell that looks like him.” Scroll down to find the full story in her own words below, where you will also find an update on how the story developed.
Below you will also find Bored Panda’s interview with an assistant professor of clinical psychology at the University of Michigan, Dr. Annelise Madison, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions about the effect stress can have on us.
Many people are faced with an abundance of responsibilities and a load of pressure on a daily basis
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This woman was concerned about life’s pressures getting to her husband, as he was “becoming a robot”
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Fellow netizens shared their thoughts on the situation, and some suggested that the husband might be burnt out
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The woman shared an update a few days later
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“Feelings of helplessness or lack of control make some stressors even more impactful and detrimental,” expert says
Talking about how being in a constant state of stress can affect a person, Dr. Annelise Madison, an assistant professor of clinical psychology at the University of Michigan, noted that chronic stress can deplete bodily systems, wearing on the immune, cardiovascular, gastrointestinal, and neuroendocrine systems, among others.
“The ‘fight or flight’ stress response is metabolically costly and is only meant to last for a short time to help you evade short-term threats. However, in our modern culture, many threats and stressors are not short-lived, such as climate or political concerns, a strained relationship with your family, food or resource scarcity due to socioeconomic disparity, and so on,” she explained.
“Also, feelings of helplessness or lack of control make some stressors even more impactful and detrimental,” the expert continued. “When you are in a fight or flight state (mediated by the sympathetic nervous system), you are not resting and digesting (parasympathetic nervous system) – functions that are vital to recovery and vitality. Therefore, you may start to feel fatigued, have less motivation, and a lower mood when you experience chronic, unrelenting stress – symptoms that are increasingly common in our society.”
Asked whether or not opening up to someone can help a person break free from the state stress can put them in, Dr. Madison noted that it depends on the situation. “It can be extremely helpful and beneficial to receive support or problem-solve together. That said, if you are ‘hooked’ on a stressful situation and ruminating about it with no end in sight, it can be detrimental for you and for your supporter if you continue to stew on it and vent about it – especially if it is beyond your and their control and there is nothing that you or they can do about it.
“If the goal is to gain a new perspective or even some resolution (if not practically, then at least emotionally), then opening up to someone can help to buffer the mental and physical effects of stress,” the expert said. “It is important to let the other person know what you need in terms of support when you share your stress with them (By saying something like, ‘Hey, I just need some emotional support right now as I’m navigating this tricky situation.’)
“As a clinical psychologist, I too often see people ‘bottle up’ their problems and hesitate to ask for help or support, but it’s important to remember that relationships in which there is mutual support are the strongest and healthiest. We all need help at one time or another.”
Parents reportedly experience more stress than their childless counterparts
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Feeling the pressure of numerous responsibilities in life is something that many people experience, with or without having kids. But it’s no secret that having children that are dependent on you can make it significantly more overwhelming.
According to last year’s Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Mental Health and Well-Being of Parents, “parents have been consistently more likely to report experiencing high levels of stress compared to other adults.”
The advisory, released in August of 2024, revealed that roughly one-in-three parents reported high levels of stress in the past month compared to 20% of adults without children. The report continued to point out that severe or prolonged stress can have a negative impact on the parents’ well-being, which, consequently, affects the well-being of their children, too.
“Parents have a profound impact on the health of our children and the health of society. Yet parents and caregivers today face tremendous pressures, from familiar stressors such as worrying about their kids’ health and safety and financial concerns, to new challenges like navigating technology and social media, a youth mental health crisis, an epidemic of loneliness that has hit young people the hardest,” Dr. Vivek Murthy, the US Surgeon General, emphasized.
For many people, the pandemic was a highly stressful time
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The youth battling mental health crises and an epidemic of loneliness shows that no one is immune to difficult times or the stresses of life, especially during turbulent times. One of such times was the Covid pandemic, which, judging by the OP’s update, was one of the things that took a toll on her husband.
The expectant dad was worried about bringing a child into a stressful time, which was—and still is—a concern to many. According to a Pew Research Center survey from 2024, 13% of child-free respondents ages 50 and older even cited “concerns about the state of the world” as a reason not to have children at all.
While the first year of the pandemic brought a lot of worry and stress to many all over the world, the second year was seemingly even more stressful. According to Gallup's Negative Experience Index, in 2021, as much as four-in-ten adults globally were faced with a lot of worry and stress, and roughly a fourth of them experienced sadness (28%) and anger (23%).
Emphasizing just how bad the situation was in 2021, Gallup’s Positive Experience Index dropped (for the first time since 2017), showing that in addition to dealing with all sorts of negative feelings, people experienced less positive things in their everyday lives, too.
Even though nowadays the situation might not be the same as in 2021, there are still plenty of things happening in the world that can cause stress for people in it. Talking about how global events or the current state of the world can influence one’s stress levels, Dr. Madison noted that these global stressors can add to the normal, everyday ‘hassles’ and deplete our mental and emotional resources.
“This is especially true if we feel helpless, and it is understandable to feel that way given that these issues loom large,” she told Bored Panda. “It can be easy to oscillate between despair or helplessness and wanting to do everything to fix these large issues, but both of these responses are taxing. Instead, it can be helpful to find the middle ground of recognizing that these are big, systemic issues, making space for your own grief, anger, or whatever other emotion may be present, and then using these emotions as fuel to advocate for change and make your small corner of the world a bit better.”
Starting with their corner of the world, their home, the OP and her husband agreed to take action to get him out of the state he found himself in. In her update, the woman shared that in order to manage the negative emotions her husband was dealing with, the couple decided to start with a day off for the husband so he could rest. They also agreed to have a week-long getaway just for the two of them, before the baby was born. The redditor added that after their heartfelt talk, she—for the first time in months—didn’t see a robot; she saw her husband again.
People applauded the way the man’s wife handled the situation
