Long-term romantic relationships require a lot of dedication to make them work. They need both partners to be emotionally and physically invested. That means consistent effort. However, if either person feels like their needs aren’t being met, they might look to someone else for comfort.
Redditor u/UnusualCapital9083 opened up to the members of the r/AITAH online group about a very sensitive topic. He shared that he’s known about his wife’s affair for the past couple of years. However, she was furious when she learned that he’d known the truth all this time. You’ll find the full story, including an update, below. Bored Panda has reached out to the author via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.
Being cheated on is often very hurtful. However, some people realize they don't care that their partner was unfaithful
Image credits: Alex Green / pexels (not the actual photo)
One man revealed how his wife got mad at him that he'd known about his wife's affair for 2 years
Image credits: Oladimeji Ajegbile / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image source: UnusualCapital9083
Someone might decide to be unfaithful because they're deeply dissatisfied with some aspects of their relationship
Image credits: Ron Lach / pexels (not the actual photo)
Different people cheat for different reasons. Psychology Professor Lucia F. O’Sullivan from the University of New Brunswick says that the most common ones include sexual dissatisfaction, emotional dissatisfaction, neglect, and anger.
So, for example, someone who wants more variety in their love life or more frequent sex might become unfaithful if their partner isn’t meeting their needs. The same can happen if someone’s emotional needs are ignored.
That said, nobody’s a mind-reader: if there are problems in the bedroom or outside of it, the couple needs to have those awkward conversations. It’s hard to solve any issues if one side might not even be aware that they exist. Once you get past the embarrassment, it’s liberating to be so open and honest with your partner. After all, they’re someone you’re supposed to fully trust.
But it’s not just physical or emotional dissatisfaction that drives people into a stranger’s embrace. Some people cheat because they feel rejected or neglected by their partner. Others feel mistreated and angry, so they cheat because they want to punish their other half.
However, in some cases, folks have such deep-seated insecurities that they cheat whenever the opportunity presents itself. It’s their way of feeling desired and confident. But that’s not an excuse to be unfaithful. Therapy is a much better tool for working through all of those personal issues than hurting your partner.
Cheating, whether physical or emotional, is much more common than you might think
Image credits: Ron Lach / pexels (not the actual photo)
TechReport states that a fifth of men and nearly a third of women have admitted to having cheated on their partners at some point in the relationship. Around a third of affairs happen in the workplace, where people spend a huge part of their day. Meanwhile, over half of all divorces happen due to infidelity.
It’s not just physical affairs that are hurtful. Emotional affairs, where someone is intimate with another person without sex, can be devastating, too. Nearly two-thirds of them start at work. 77% of men admitted that they have emotionally cheated on their partners, while 91% of women have confessed to the same thing.
Verywell Mind points out that emotional affairs can sometimes start gradually and without intention. But, over time, they grow deeper as both people become more intimate and invest more of themselves emotionally.
You can tell that you’re emotionally cheating on your partner if you constantly think about your ‘friend,’ can’t wait to meet them, shower them with gifts, and believe that they ‘get’ you better than your partner.
Some other signs of emotional infidelity include keeping your ‘friendship’ secret, daydreaming about the other person, opening up to them in ways you’d never do with your partner, and withdrawing physically and emotionally from your partner.
Meanwhile, micro-cheating is separate from emotional cheating. The former doesn’t require an emotional connection or reciprocity: it’s mostly one-way. It can include actions like constantly visiting another person’s social media profile, liking their posts and photos, etc.
How would you react if you learned that your partner was unfaithful to you, Pandas? Have you ever been cheated on? What would you have done if you were in u/UnusualCapital9083’s shoes? You can share your thoughts in the comments section at the bottom of this post.
A lot of internet users sided with the author. Here's their take on the tense situation
However, some folks thought that everyone was in the wrong
The man later shared an important update with his readers
Image credits: Alex Green / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Alex Green / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image source: UnusualCapital9083
Dealing with relationship or dating drama like this? Visit our Family Dynamics Hub for expert-backed guides on toxic roles, boundaries, and rebuilding trust.