Being a parent is a duty that never really ends, and folks have to keep up with the changing world just to understand their child better. Sometimes, kids hit their parents with a curveball that can affect their bond and even make moms and dads question everything.
This is what one couple experienced when their daughter came out as gay, and the dad who was initially supportive got influenced by his religious mother to treat his kid differently. He went to such an extreme that he rejected the teen as his “spiritual” child and wanted to have another one with his wife instead.
Unsupportive parents can negatively affect their little one’s wellbeing without even realizing it
The woman mentioned that when her 14-year-old daughter came out as gay, her husband was supportive, but his religious mom banned the teen from her house
At first, the man was okay c*****g ties with his mom over her actions, but later he felt that their daughter wasn’t spiritually his and he wanted to make another one instead
The poster was shocked that her husband would think such a thing about their daughter, so she took the teen and stayed with her parents, wondering about divorcing him
Most netizens urged the woman not to stay with her husband and to place their daughter’s well-being as a top priority
In an update a year later, the woman mentioned that she got divorced from her husband and had full custody of her daughter, and that they were both going to therapy
The woman also thanked folks for giving her a much-needed reality check so that she could recognize the red flags in her relationship and protect her daughter
When children come out to their parents, it can be quite a shock for the older folks at first, and they might need some time to process the situation. Natalie Tenenbaum says this is the right time to assure your kid that you support them unconditionally and that their coming out won’t change your relationship.
Along with giving them a safe space to explore their identity, Errol Lamont Fields says parents should also protect their kid from possible bullying. This could involve having open, honest conversations with the child to understand whether they are facing any trouble, and setting boundaries with family members, friends, and the child’s educational institution.
Unfortunately, in certain situations, LGBTQ+ individuals might face rejection from their own loved ones. The San Francisco State University explains that this kind of dismissal from family is often associated with poorer health outcomes, depression, anxiety, and the increased use of substances.
That’s why it’s so important for queer folks to have a community and a good support system. Devin Collins mentions that if family can’t be there for you, it’s best to seek out LGBTQ+ groups and friends. They'll understand you better and be there when you need them.
When parents first get to know about their child’s queerness, they might experience a lot of different kinds of emotions. One worry of theirs could be related to whether their kid is LGBTQ+ because of them, but Launchpad Counseling assures folks that a person’s orientation is inborn and not influenced by culture or upbringing. Nothing a parent does can make their child gay or straight, which is something that folks might find hard to understand.
If one parent is unsupportive of their child, it is important for the other parent to talk to them about the issue. Experts explain that understanding the individual’s fears and worries can help a great deal to make them receptive to the issue. They also need to be made aware of the fact that if they don’t support their child, they are likely to lose out on the relationship with them.
In some cases, married couples might end up separating if one partner can't accept their child. Lana Halperin explains that in such a situation, parents should make their child aware that their coming out wasn’t the cause of the divorce, and that they are still loved regardless of what happens in the adults’ relationship.
Navigating these scenarios is difficult for both parents and kids, which is why folks need to take their time with it and be open with each other. Clearly, the poster did that with her daughter, which is why they had such a close relationship and were able to move on a year after the woman’s divorce.
How do you think you would have dealt with this if you were in the mom’s shoes? We’d love to hear your thoughts on the situation.
People were proud of the woman for c*****g ties with her ex and keeping her daughter safe and happy
