Woman Leaves Husband For 3 Weeks, Comes Back To Series Of Unfortunate Events

Cooking is not a woman's job — it's a life skill. And Reddit user HollyCupcakez's husband probably needs to work on it.

In her candid post on the subreddit r/Stories, the wife explained that when she got back from her vacation, she found her partner had lost his culinary battle in the kitchen and was living off of fast food.

Considering that her trip lasted just a few weeks, it may have not been such a big issue. But the consequences were smelly!

We got in touch HollyCupcakez and she said she's very happy with her marriage.

"We've been together for like 10 years, married for the last 8 years and it's been happy regardless of the gas problems," the author of the post told Bored Panda. "He has to put up with my constant complaints all the time and the problems I keep bringing him because of my height and appearance because I'm 4'7" and look like a 12-year-old girl."

"I've accidentally gotten him detained by the police multiple times for 'child luring' because he's a short bald and bearded guy with a brown hatchback who tends to circle the parking lot instead of parking so people have seen me yelling at a weird man in a car before running back into the Walmart, Weis, Giant, Ross, or other store and made the wrong assumptions."

However, the woman said her husband's cooking skills have always been "god-awful," but that's not a problem because she can do it for both of them. "He grew up in a very poor household where neither of his parents knew how to cook properly," she explained.

As she was getting ready for the trip, the Redditor thought "he'd either order takeout every day, or eat some of the bulk foods he bought during the last year or so."

"I knew he'd somehow manage to screw that up, but I didn't expect him to disable every appliance in my kitchen except the sink and fridge itself, not counting the broken shelf."

All of us poop and all of us have gas. But the reasons why we break wind can be different, and sometimes it might be cause for concern.

"As a pediatric gastroenterologist, I get asked about this all the time," says Dr. Mark Corkins, division chief of pediatric gastroenterology at the University of Tennessee Health Science Center.

"There are two sources of 'gas,' and not all gas is gas. Part of what we pass is air. We all swallow some air, and some people swallow a lot of air. Now that seems to be odorless."

Real gas, on the other hand, is primarily the byproduct of the fermentation of food in the colon, which has trillions of bacteria living in it, and if we don't digest the food, the bacteria will.

People are different in terms of the way that their gastrointestinal tract functions, the microbiome that lives inside it, and what they eat — all those things are key factors in determining how often you pass gas, how much you pass gas, and what your gas smells like.

And even though gas isn't as much of an indicator of gut health as bowel movement frequency and texture, dietary choices, as this story vividly illustrates, can certainly lead to more or less gas, because eating foods that are more difficult to digest makes it more likely to ferment.

While an occasional fast-food meal won't hurt, making it a habit can do a number on our health. Let's hope the man's diet and his bodily functions will return to normal soon. For his own and his wife's sake!

The post has received a lot of attention and its author didn't think the reaction would be as funny as it was.

"I posted the story in the wrong subreddit because I meant to post it on r/PointlessStories and not r/Stories because it was a stupid [tale] about my husband's ongoing gas problems that I think I've complained about before."

Now, she's "patiently waiting for the weird robot-voiced TikTok videos and other websites to steal my story and post it all over [the internet], which, apparently, has already happened!"

"[But] as long as they don't figure out who we are in real life, I don't see anything bad happening [from this]. I'm just a weird tiny person with weird issues who posts on Reddit about things that annoy me with some exaggerated details."