If you've been through a divorce but managed to maintain a friendly relationship with your ex, kudos to you. It's not that easy, because, in addition to the numerous problems that partly ruined the marriage, there's now the added financial burden of raising kids.
The author of our story today is apparently quite well-off, so he usually didn't bother with detailed penny-pinching over the costs of raising his son after the divorce. However, after one unpleasant incident, his ex-wife apparently took offense and decided to act petty...
More info: Reddit
Everything in this world actually has its perfect timing, and penny-pinching with your ex over co-parenting expenses is also among these things
Image credits: freepik / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The author of the post says he's on friendly terms with his ex, and he even paid for their common vacation with their new partners
Image credits: garakta_studio / Magnific (not the actual photo)
However, the ex's daughter committed theft from the author's home when they were away, and he had to report this to the police
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Magnific (not the actual photo)
After this, the ex apparently held a grudge against him and demanded itemizing every dime spent on raising their son
Image credits: rduncang
Well, this "petty revenge" only backfired, as it turned out that he owes her $80, while she owes him $425 for now
So, the Original poster (OP) and his wife have been divorced for quite some time, but they’ve maintained a friendly relationship. For example, recently, the four of them - the author, his new wife, his ex, and her boyfriend - went on vacation, and, according to our hero, he paid for everything. However, the trip went well, and only one piece of news marred it.
As it turned out, while the author was away, his ex-stepdaughter broke into his house and committed theft. The original poster would’ve been happy not to report it to the police, but among the stolen items were some medications, which required a theft report for a prescription refill. However, his ex told her she didn't mind him reporting it anyway.
The woman's daughter ended up in court, but that's not what we're talking about here. The OP's ex probably still resents him for this incident, since she's now resorted to some petty revenge. The ex-spouses also have a son, and they always split all expenses equally, without keeping track of who owed what. But after this, the lady decided to itemize everything.
For example, the author says that she "hounded him for a week over $5" after buying her son new lacrosse gear, and now the man has decided that two can play this game. Lo and behold, after detailed calculations, the ex-spouses discovered that the guy owed his ex $80, while she owed him $425. The conclusion? Any petty revenge must be well-thought-out first and foremost.
Image credits: user3980505 / Magnific (not the actual photo)
It should be noted that itemizing literally every cost isn't common practice, and basic child care expenses are typically covered by child support under the state's formula, while day-to-day expenses are typically paid by the parent with whom the child is currently living.
As this dedicated article at NCSL notes, the usual practice when incurring extra expenses or when parents pool their money is either a parenting plan or a court order. Often, this division occurs proportionally to the parents' income, or 50/50, with receipts and, accordingly, requests for reimbursement, as noted, for example, in this guide at the California Courts website.
If parents want a detailed breakdown of their co-parenting expenses, Our Family Wizard specifically recommends tracking shared expenses, attaching receipts, categorizing expenses, and keeping a history of reimbursements. However, as we can see from the situation we described, the OP's ex's idea effectively backfired.
As for the comments, they were mostly divided into two groups: a desire to know what happened to the OP's ex's daughter (she was arrested), and advice on keeping separate accounts in co-parenting. According to one responder, the ex probably believed that her money was still hers, while the author's money was hers anyway, because “it was for the child.” And what do you, our dear readers, think about this story?
Many commenters claimed that the author's ex perhaps considered his money still hers, as it was "for the sake of the kid"
