If you ask me about the Top 5 things that actually make us human, I will definitely name our imagination in this list. The incomparable ability to go beyond reality in your own head, and then implement what you have imagined in practice has largely led humanity to this unrestrained development.
But sometimes imagination fails us - especially when we ‘draw pictures in our heads’ for our relatives and children - and then get sincerely offended when reality doesn’t match these drawn pictures. As it happened, for example, in the situation with the user u/No-Cauliflower-6934. More precisely, with his wife and daughter.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post has 3 adult children, the youngest of who recently eloped with her fiancé
Image credits: Magda Ehlers / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The youngest daughter, as the author says, has always been 'a wild child,' but very intelligent and independent as well
Image credits: No-Cauliflower-6934
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The mom demanded the daughter had a more traditional wedding - and the bride finally gave up
Image credits: No-Cauliflower-6934
Image credits: Natasha Fernandez / Pexels (not the actual photo)
But literally a few days later, the mom and daughter had a fight over flower decorations, and the bride-to-be elected to elope
Image credits: No-Cauliflower-6934
Mom burst into tears over her 'missing out on the kid's special day' - and the author ended up explaining it was she who brought about this situation
So, the Original Poster is 55 years old, his wife is 2 years younger, and the couple has three children, the youngest of whom, 24-year-old Lynn, recently got married. Dad admits that Lynn has always been a 'wild child' - she got a college degree at 16, moved to Louisiana two years later, got a few more degrees there, and now lives a pretty nice life.
And Lynn's husband Brad is also similar to her. Both externally, he's also covered in tattoos and piercings, and internally - he's the same, independent, smart and argumentative, always ready to support his partner in difficult times. The OP says that Brad is a great guy, and he's very happy that his daughter has such a husband.
And now we come to the main conflict point of this story. Lynn is the first of the OP's children to get married, and his wife has always dreamed of a lavish wedding in a traditional style. Well, you know all about that.
The Church, the priest, father walking the bride down the aisle, solemn music, flowers... And the lady was incredibly upset when Lynn announced her intention to have a small ceremony just for family and the closest friends.
But our hero's wife didn’t give up and began a methodical siege of this fortress. Sooner or later, Lynn reluctantly gave in to this unstoppable pressure, agreeing to a more classic wedding. But the mom's celebration didn’t last long - literally a week later, she and the daughter had a spat over flower decorations, and the bride cut contact with her.
And a couple of days ago, Lynn reported that she and Brad eloped in Louisiana, literally with a close circle of friends - and now mom cannot stop crying because she ‘missed out on her daughter’s special day.’ A couple of days later, our hero got tired of it. He reminded his wife that, firstly, she herself contributed to the quarrel with the daughter, and secondly, they have two more children whose weddings might be more classic.
As you probably have already guessed, the wife didn’t appreciate this argument and, calling her husband a few names, has been giving him the cold shoulder since then. The original poster honestly admits that Lynn is literally the last person he would expect to see in a snow-white wedding gown, graciously walking down the aisle to the solemn sounds of a march floating from under the vaults of the church...
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The problem of parents and children in all its glory, which has faced many families for centuries and millennia, today takes on new shades. After all, it often happens that the life experience of parents turns out to be completely irrelevant in the world where their adult offspring live. And, as usual, parents do not always have the proper wisdom to admit this.
"This happens literally at every step - when parents love their children not as they really are, but as they depict them in their imagination. Perfect in their own view," says Maria Kryvosheeva, a psychologist and NLP coach, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment in this case.
"And when children don't live up to this 'ideal' - and they almost never do - parents can't think of anything better to do than to start blaming them for it. Instead of just being proud of them. And accepting them with all their strengths and weaknesses. Inevitable weaknesses - after all, we are all human, and we are all imperfect."
"However, based on what this man said, I guess his wife will probably soon make peace with their daughter - she was just upset by this discrepancy between reality and those images in her head. And the sooner this reconciliation happens - the better, in fact," Maria summarizes.
People in the comments also admitted that the original poster's wife actually provoked this argument herself, and believe that he did the right thing by trying to explain it to her. "Tell your wife that the only one that should be upset is you, because her actions caused you to miss your daughter's wedding," someone reasonably wrote in the comments.
The responders also praised the author for supporting his daughter and defending her point of view in a standoff with her mom. "A good father knows his children and what will make them happy,” another person said. “You’re a good dad and keep standing up for your daughter. Unfortunately, your wife was thinking about her happiness, not your daughter’s.” And have you, our dear readers, ever encountered a similar situation?
The author's wife called him out for doing so, but the commenters massively praised him for sticking up for his daughter
