It’s usually appreciated when neighbors go out of their way to be hospitable, whether that means showing up with freshly baked brownies when a new family moves in or offering to have them over for dinner to welcome them to the neighborhood. But regardless of how kind a neighbor may be, sometimes all we want from them is space.
One young woman detailed on the “Am I the [Jerk]?” subreddit how she finally reached her breaking point after a condescending neighbor wouldn’t leave her alone, so below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the responses readers left.
This young woman and her husband were mistaken for children after purchasing their first home
Image credits: Rawpixel (not the actual photo)
But even after it was made clear that they’re adults, one patronizing neighbor couldn’t seem to resist treating them like kids
Image credits: Pressmaster (not the actual photo)
Image credits: BGStock72 (not the actual photo)
Image credits: genflogressivegekemu
Later, the woman provided some additional insight into why her neighbor may have acted this way
All adults deserve to be treated as such, regardless of how old they "look"
Purchasing your first home with a partner is a massive accomplishment that every couple should be proud of, especially at the age of only 23. In the United States in 2021, the average age of first-time home buyers was 33, and this age has been steadily rising since the 1980s. So regardless of the fact that someone may look young for their age or have a “baby face,” if they’ve managed to purchase a home, they’re certainly adults. In fact, anyone over the age of 18 is considered an adult and deserves to be treated as such. But interestingly enough, having a so-called baby face can actually impact the way that others perceive a person, particularly a woman.
According to research, women with younger looking faces are often more successful and make solid leaders in the workplace. However, they sometimes experience being overlooked for challenging tasks and leadership roles by people who underestimate them based on their youthful looks. Regain breaks down some of the cons of having a baby face on their site, noting that women with young-looking faces are often devalued by colleagues or authority figures; people tend to assume they think and/or act younger than they are; they may receive demeaning nicknames; they may be judged for having “inappropriate relationships” even if their partner is the same age; and they may always face surprised reactions upon telling someone how old they are.
But young married couples, in particular, tend to face an onslaught of judgment from older people
It may sometimes be more challenging for adults with youthful faces to be taken seriously, but if anyone judges them, it is a reflection of that person's prejudices, rather than the young-looking individual’s capabilities. Young married couples, in particular, often have a hard time earning respect, perhaps because there is a higher risk of divorce for couples who tie the knot before they’re in their early 30s. But that doesn’t mean they deserve all of the inappropriate and/or rude comments others feel the need to direct towards them. Huffpost recently asked young married couples to share some of the most annoying remarks people say to them, and they did not hold back.
“Are you pregnant?” was a common question young wives mentioned hearing, especially when they first decide to get engaged. People also love inserting their opinions on young couples’ timelines, with comments such as, “You might not be the same person 10 years from now” and, “What’s the rush?” Then there’s the more blatant, “You’re making a bad decision” or, “Don’t you want to play the field?” Women tend to receive more judgmental comments than their husbands as well, hearing things such as, “You’re practically a child bride.” Couples might also hear, “You’ll never finish college,” “I got married young, and it was a huge mistake,” questions about whether the union was simply for a green card, and bets on how long the marriage will actually last. But the fact is, getting married is an extremely personal choice, and whether a couple decides to tie the knot at 22 or 44, judgmental comments from others will have no real impact on their relationships.
As challenging as it may be, it's recommended to try to ignore condescending remarks from others
If you find yourself in a situation where you’re dealing with a particularly patronizing individual, such as the neighbor in this story, you might be wondering what the best course of action is. According to Amanda Woodard at HRM, it’s typically wise to resist the urge to snap back and simply try to ignore the annoying remarks. “If you don’t give them the satisfaction of knowing that they have irritated you, they might simply stop being condescending,” Woodard explains. “Selective deafness is always an option. One suggestion made to an online forum was to ask the offender to repeat themselves over and again. Each time they do so, they sound more and more ridiculous.”
As frustrating as it can be to deal with a condescending and overbearing individual, whether they’re a neighbor, colleague, or family member, it can be even trickier trying to navigate the situation without offending them or losing your patience. We would love to hear your thoughts on this woman’s reaction in the comments below, pandas. Do you think she was justified in speaking to her neighbor this way? How would you have handled the situation? Then, if you’re looking for another Bored Panda article to read next featuring drama between neighbors, look no further than right here.
Readers assured the woman that her behavior was justified, while some shared similar stories and suggestions of how to address the neighbor in the future
