When you’re a parent, your entire world revolves around your kiddos. It’s easy to forget that you had an entire life before them and that there are people out there who don’t have children at all. But just because you love your kids more than anything else in the world doesn’t mean that your loved ones want to be subjected to them at all times.
One woman recently reached out to Reddit seeking advice after she became fed up with her friend’s rambunctious children ruining multiple events. Below, you’ll find all of the details that the author shared, as well as a conversation with her and some of the replies invested readers left her.
Finding reliable and affordable childcare can be challenging for single parents
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But this woman has run out of patience for her friend's rambunctious children
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Image credits: DC_Studio / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: anonymouspotato023
Later, the author shared some more background information
"I can’t keep setting myself on fire to keep others warm"
To find out more about this situation, we got in touch with the post's author, Reddit user Anonymouspotato023. She was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and share some more details about this story.
"I don’t have any dramatic updates on the situation. I’ve just made the decision to distance myself from the friendship," the OP says. "I have a lot of love for this person, and I really want to see her thrive."
"We’ve had a complicated friendship, and I think in some instances, my kindness may have been taken advantage of, whether it was intentional or not," the author continued. "I think loving her from a distance is just what I need to do for myself in this situation."
As for why her friend's children are so poorly behaved, Anonymouspotato023 isn't quite sure. "Maybe just lack of discipline? I don’t want to speculate too much since I’m not a parent, and I want to be respectful of her privacy and not share too many of her personal details," she noted.
Finally, we were curious about what the OP thought of the replies to her post. "A lot of the replies were brutally honest, but I think it was something I needed to hear," she shared. "I’m a bit of a people pleaser and place a lot of value on my interpersonal relationships, but I can’t keep setting myself on fire to keep others warm."
Childfree events have been gaining popularity in recent years
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According to a 2023 Gallup poll, over two thirds of adults in the United States are parents. So the majority of people understand what it’s like to struggle to find a babysitter, spend the night consoling a little one who had a nightmare or have to skip a night out with friends to stay home with the kiddos.
That’s why it’s so great to have access to child friendly spaces. Moms and dads don’t have to worry about imposing on hosts or feeling embarrassed when their little ones knock over a glass of water or have an accident while eating dinner. But that doesn’t mean that every space has to be welcoming towards children.
Plenty of adults, especially childfree adults, aren’t interested in spending time with kids everywhere they go. Of course, in a public space like a grocery store or a movie theatre, it’s expected to encounter them. No one is entitled to a childfree world. But at a private party or event, children don’t necessarily need to get an invitation.
In fact, childfree weddings and adult only hotels and resorts have been on the rise in recent years. Many brides and grooms aren’t worried about watching their language around guests or catering to the dietary preferences of little ones. Plus, the happy couple is expected to keep guests entertained, which can be more complicated when catering to young attendees.
When it comes to hotels and resorts, many adults want to be able to enjoy their accommodation’s pool without getting splashed in the face by rambunctious kids. You also don’t have to worry about having dinner next to a screaming toddler if there aren’t any on the premises.
It's healthy for parents to spend some time away from their kids
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And while some people might assume that it’s only childfree adults who are interested in getting away from kiddos from time to time, it can actually be extremely beneficial for moms and dads to have some time away from their little ones too. Clinical psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy even argues that taking some personal time makes you a better parent.
“Kids don’t need selfless martyrs. Kids need sturdy leaders,” Dr. Becky shared in a video on Instagram. “Me spending some time with my girlfriends—us spending time talking about things other than our kids; taking care of ourselves and connecting about all the things that we love and all the different things that light us up that don’t have to do with caregiving—is critical to my mental health and my ability to show up for my kid.”
“I am allowed to make decisions for myself; I’m allowed to set boundaries; I’m allowed to meet my needs,” the psychologist continued.
As painful as it may be to leave a crying child at home while you go attend a friend’s wedding or birthday party, it’s healthy for parents to be able to enjoy these events without constantly worrying that their kids need something or without feeling like they have to keep an eye on their kiddos at all times.
HuffPost also shared a piece detailing some reasons why it’s healthy for parents to spend time away from their children, and they noted that space is invigorating. Moms and dads deserve opportunities to feel free and untethered to the obligations of being a parent, even for just a few hours. Plus, when you’re attending a function that’s celebrating a friend of yours, the most considerate thing to do is devote all of your attention to them.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think it’s fair for this woman to make all of her future events childfree? Feel free to weigh in, and then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar themes right here.
Readers assured the woman that she wasn't being unreasonable, and some gave her advice on how to proceed with this friendship
