If there's one thing that can break friendships, it's probably splitting the bill. Never has there been an issue where people's opinions get so heated they might be ready to end a years-long friendship over it. Do you split everything in half? Does everyone pay for their meal?
More importantly, does a person still need to pay even if they don't eat the food and someone else takes it home? The latter dilemma is exactly what happened to one woman. She refused to cover the meal she ordered but her friends ended up eating, so, she didn't think it would be fair for her to pay. But when she posted her story on the internet, netizens gave her a reality check.
To find out what's the etiquette in such a situation, Bored Panda reached out to the author and etiquette expert at The Swann School of Protocol Nikesha Tannehill Tyson. She kindly agreed to tell us who should pay for the dinner in this instance and how friends can generally avoid the split bill drama. Read her expert insights below!
More info: The Swann School of Protocol | Gracious Living
A woman refused to pay for her meal after she did not eat it and gave to friends to bring home
Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)
After her friends started giving her the could shoulder, she started wondering if she was the jerk in this situation
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Melodic-Road-5071
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
According to an etiquette expert, the person who orders the food should pay for it, regardless of who eats it
Bored Panda wanted to get an etiquette expert's opinion on the issue, so, we reached out to Nikesha Tannehill Tyson from the Swann School of Protocol. According to her, the person who ordered the meal is responsible for paying for it, regardless of whether they ate it or not.
"Communication aids in clearing up misunderstandings and awkward situations," Tannehill Tyson adds. "The person who wants the meal can contribute towards the meal ticket but should not feel obligated to do so."
When you're having dinner with friends, it's better to discuss who's paying for what up front. While it might be awkward to start the conversation, it will benefit everyone in the long run and clear up any potential misunderstandings.
Tannehill Tyson says that discussing bill-splitting expectations before dining out clears the air and makes for a more enjoyable experience. "When arrangements have not been communicated, it is acceptable to just ask, 'How will the bill be split?' That way the arrangements can also be communicated with the server in advance," she offers an alternative.
In the end, it's all about fairness and social grace, the etiquette expert emphasizes. "Etiquette is about putting others at ease. A little grace is needed [in] tricky situations." She suggests something to consider: is a meal worth ruining a friendship?
Image credits: Wavebreak Media / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Cultural differences sometimes play a role in how people decide to split the dinner bill
Splitting the bill among friends is quite a complex issue in general. People decide amongst themselves which way of splitting suits them the best, but most folks still lean towards everyone paying for themselves.
One survey found that 33% of Americans say they won't split the bill equally, especially if the meals vary in cost. That's not surprising, given that some friends take advantage of that. Research has shown that individuals tend to order more expensive meals when they know that the cost will be split evenly among the group.
Other people, however, suggest that splitting the bill evenly is just a natural part of the group dining experience. Humorist and cultural observer Joel Stein told Today that people shouldn't be so individualist when dining with friends.
"I think if you go out to dinner, you just have to throw capitalism out of your head," he quipped. "It doesn't matter if you just felt like a drink or a salad. The idea of some kind of financial fairness in a group-dining situation is nonexistent. Once you've accepted an invitation to go out with a large group, you just have to know that you've entered a socialist space."
He considers this a mostly American problem and that conflicts about the dinner bill arise because we're so individualistic. And there might be some truth to that, as in France, or Greece, for example, it's impolite not to take turns treating your friends and covering the whole bill, while in Germany, Canada, or the Philippines, people prefer to cover their meals separately.
One Yelp study found that there are even differences in the regions of the U.S. 65% of diners from the South would like to pay according to individual diners' orders. And in the Northeast, 39% split the bill evenly and 35% let one person cover the entire meal and then pay them back at a later date.
The majority of commenters believed the woman had to pay for her food even if she didn't eat it, too
Others, however, thought this would be unfair: "It takes some real audacity to ask for payment"
Even after the consensus was that she was the jerk, the woman still stood her ground
