Many of us are guilty of leaning on our moms for just about everything. Whether it’s calling her when we’re sick, asking her to watch the kids at the last minute, or needing advice we could probably figure out ourselves, Mom is often the first person we turn to. She’s the safety net, the problem-solver, and the one who somehow always makes things work. Over time, that reliance becomes so normal that we barely notice how much we expect from her, especially during big moments and holidays.
Speaking of that pressure, a woman called out people who rely on their mothers to single-handedly make Christmas happen every year. She pointed out how many adults show up expecting a home, a full meal, decorations, and festive magic, without contributing to the work behind it. According to her, opting out for your own peace is fine, but expecting your mom to carry the burden forever isn’t. Her message struck a nerve online. Keep reading to see what she had to say.
The holiday season can be incredibly stressful and exhausting for many women, often adding pressure instead of joy
Image credits: user25451090/Freepik (not the actual photo)
One woman called out people who rely entirely on their mothers to handle everything during the holidays, from decorating the house to preparing meals
Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)
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The author also opened up about her own personal experiences, adding depth and honesty to her message
Women often feel intense pressure to parent a certain way, often at the cost of their own needs and well-being
While having a baby can be an incredibly fulfilling journey for many women, it also comes with a heavy set of expectations. Almost the moment someone becomes a mom, the pressure starts piling up. There are opinions on how to give birth, how to feed the baby, how quickly to “bounce back,” and how to juggle everything with a smile. From breastfeeding debates to comments about weight, sleep, and work-life balance, new moms often feel watched and judged.
That pressure isn’t just anecdotal, either. According to a survey commissioned by TIME, a large majority of new mothers feel boxed into a certain idea of what “good parenting” should look like. About 70% of respondents said they felt pressure to parent in a specific way. Many admitted they felt disappointment, guilt, or even shame when real life didn’t match those expectations. Instead of enjoying the messy, imperfect moments of motherhood, they felt like they were failing an invisible test. Motherhood, for many, becomes less about instinct and more about comparison.
Image credits: Monika Grabkowska/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
On top of social pressure, there’s also an emotional weight that often goes unspoken. New moms are navigating huge hormonal shifts, lack of sleep, and a complete life adjustment. For some, this can develop into postpartum depression or anxiety. Even those without a diagnosis can feel overwhelmed, lonely, or disconnected. Yet many feel they have to hide these feelings to avoid judgment. Admitting you’re struggling can feel like admitting defeat. That silence only makes things harder. Emotional support is just as important as practical help, but it’s often overlooked.
There’s also the expectation that a mother’s entire identity should suddenly revolve around her child. Society often praises moms who “do it all” and quietly criticizes those who want space for themselves. Hobbies, careers, rest, and friendships can all be pushed aside in the name of being a “good mom.” Wanting time alone can be framed as selfish. Needing help can be seen as a weakness. This all-or-nothing mindset leaves little room for balance. Mothers are expected to give endlessly, without pause. Over time, that can take a serious toll.
The mental health impact becomes even clearer when looking at broader data. The sixth Annual State of Motherhood Report revealed that working mothers report significantly higher levels of anxiety and depression compared to working fathers. About 66% of working mothers said the pandemic negatively affected their mental health. Juggling work, childcare, household responsibilities, and emotional labor pushed many to the brink. Fathers were impacted too, but the burden was far from equal. The numbers highlight how uneven expectations still are. Motherhood often comes with an invisible workload that’s hard to escape.
Mothers are also frequently expected to be the family’s default caretaker, no matter the situation. When someone is sick, mom is usually the one called. During holidays, she’s expected to plan, cook, host, decorate, and clean. Even when she’s exhausted or unwell herself, the assumption is that she’ll manage. This kind of unpaid, emotional, and physical labor is rarely acknowledged. It becomes “just what moms do.” Over time, these expectations can turn into resentment and burnout. No one can pour from an empty cup forever.
It’s essential for moms to prioritize their mental and emotional health, not just for themselves, but for their families too
Putting this much pressure on mothers is unfair and unrealistic. It treats care, effort, and sacrifice as obligations instead of choices. Mothers are human beings, not endless resources. They deserve rest, appreciation, and support, not constant demands. When society normalizes mothers carrying everything, it discourages others from stepping up. Shared responsibility shouldn’t be optional. Relieving this pressure benefits not just moms, but families as a whole. A healthier environment starts with fair expectations.
The idea of a “perfect mom” is a myth that does more harm than good. No single approach works for every family, and that’s okay. What matters most is doing what works for you and your situation. Protecting mental health and personal well-being isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. One way to start is by setting realistic expectations. You don’t have to do everything, all the time. Let go of comparisons and focus on what feels sustainable. Imperfect parenting is still good parenting.
Image credits: Alexander Grey/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Self-compassion is another key piece that’s often overlooked. Moms are usually their own harshest critics. Learning to speak to yourself with kindness can make a big difference. Prioritizing self-care doesn’t have to mean spa days or long vacations. Sometimes it’s as simple as rest, quiet time, or saying no without guilt. Small moments of care add up over time. A supported mom is a stronger mom. Taking care of yourself helps you show up better for others, too.
Asking for help is also something mothers shouldn’t feel ashamed of. No one is meant to do this alone. Whether it’s leaning on a partner, family, friends, or professionals, support matters. Sharing responsibilities can ease both physical and emotional strain. It also sets a healthy example for children about teamwork and boundaries. Strength isn’t about handling everything solo. It’s about knowing when to reach out. Accepting help is a form of self-respect.
In this particular case, the woman spoke out against people who assume it’s okay to place endless responsibility on their mothers, especially around the holidays. She called out the idea that opting out yourself while expecting mom to pick up the slack is fair. Her message sparked a conversation about entitlement and emotional labor. What are your thoughts on this? Have you ever unknowingly put all the burden on your mom? Sometimes reflecting on these habits is the first step toward change.
Many readers agreed with her perspective, pointing out that men should step up and share the responsibility as well
Others felt it ultimately comes down to personal choice, arguing that no one should be criticized for doing something they genuinely enjoy
