There is a wise saying: "Money can’t buy love because it’s overpriced." Yes, money might not buy real love, but it's a much more important factor in a couple's happiness than most would think — particularly when your loved one treats you like an ATM.
As the author tells it on 'Am I The A-Hole' subreddit, it all happened at New Year's Eve dinner celebration. This 32-year old woman gets a last-minute invitation from her partner and his parents to join them in the ritzy restaurant. She joins them, has a great time, although a bit too luxurious for her own taste. And then there comes the bill and the night suddenly turns from fun to very uncomfortable.
Read on to see how the whole story goes. And if you're still hungry — there's plenty more where that came from.
Woman received an invitation from her fiancé to join him and his parents for the New Year’s Eve dinner just to experience the most awkward and the most expensive 'who should get the check' situation in her life
Image credits: Blake Wisz
This is how it all went down on that fateful New Year’s Eve
After everything that happened, she was made the villain of the situation
Image credits: Footingbills321
Let's just say people online weren't big fans of the fiancé after hearing this story
Having been put in such a situation is no fun. Especially when it's your significant other who goes along with it. "Money is one of the top 3 hot-button conflict triggers when it comes to relationships," Bored Panda is told by Dr. Gary Lewandowski, an award-winning professor of psychology at the Monmouth University and the author of 'Stronger Than You Think: The 10 Blind Spots That Undermine Your Relationship... and How to See Past Them'.
Lewandowski believes that while the author of the story was put in a pretty tight spot, it could have been treated slightly differently. "Assuming she's in a healthy relationship, she probably overreacted," Lewandowski said. "While it may have been a lot of money at the moment, it likely wasn't worth the animosity (at worst) or awkwardness (at best) that ensued. Ultimately, it may have cost more now, but over time in relationships - things usually even out."
A lot of folks online agreed that 2021 should not have been the only thing that ended after the dinner
Kim Elsesser, a senior Forbes contributor who holds a Ph.D. in psychology, has a different take on the situation. Contrary to Lewandowski, Elsesser agrees with the majority of users that the doctor has made the right decision. "There is no reason that she should be expected to pay for his whole family. Dating and relationship experts suggest that the person who invites the other person out should be prepared to pay," she told Bored Panda.
The thing they both agreed on, though, is that this situation raises a Hoover dam size red flag about the fiancé. "Telling of the story makes it sound premeditated. That’s not the dynamic anyone should want to head into a healthy marriage," we are told by Lewandowski. Elsesser drives the point further by saying that having finances sorted out is one of the key components of a stable marriage. "Clearly, this couple haven't really discussed how they will budget yet."
Believe it or not, the second leading cause for divorce is finances, studies show. But as the comments prove, many users think that the ship for this discussion has already sailed. "The best case would have been preventative measures ahead of the time. Clearly, that didn’t happen; so this couple needs to have a frank discussion about the underlying dynamics and expectations of how they handle money, and their broader relationship as well," Lewandowski said. "This conversation needs to be done alone where they have a neutral ground (not 3 against 1) when both partners aren’t agitated so that they can avoid impulsivity and can think/explain more clearly."
While it may sound simple, both psychologists say having the 'money talk' is very important for the future of every relationship. That's particularly important before tying the knot. "Best-case scenario would be this situation triggers a discussion about finances and budgeting, and the couple comes to a mutually agreed solution about how they will spend money going forward," Elsesser pointed out.
We're pretty sure what Elsesser means is that fancy dining is out of the question. And while the boyfriend might have to 'enjoy' a strict instant noodle diet for the first half of his 2022, considering the events — we hope this relationship is made out of tougher material than Olive Garden's breadsticks.