Woman Cancels BF’s Party Because He Was Late, Gets A Text From His Mom

Most folks see their partner’s birthday as an excellent excuse to celebrate with them and do something nice. After all, who wants to date a person who does not care about your birthday? However, actually organizing something can be an intensive test of planning and logistics.

A woman asked if she was wrong to cancel her BF’s birthday party after he was multiple hours late. Despite his lateness, he was looking forward to the party and was incensed that she called it off, leading to a fight and him storming out of the house. People online did their best to give some insight and suggestions.

Knowing when to cancel a party is a pretty delicate question, because no two parties are alike. However, if the guest of honor isn’t around, your hands are pretty tied. After all, how can you start cutting the cake, eating, drinking or doing any activities before the “real” part of the party has begun?

The real issue is how he reacted. It’s perhaps understandable to be upset to learn your birthday was canceled, particularly after you had to do extra work. But if it was so important, why did he not take any steps to let people know when he was arriving home? Even if there wasn’t a party, letting your partner know your plans is just common courtesy. Not communicating and then being angry that your partner didn’t read your mind is both very dumb and a red flag.

Similarly, after a few hours, guests will start to leave if you don’t give them an update. If it seems like you don’t care, why should they? He did promise he would be back in time after agreeing to help at work. It’s unclear if he had to help, or he just decided to. After all, there are horrible managers out there who will penalize people for not doing “extra,” even on their birthdays.

Importantly, the friends started to leave first, it’s only then the GF decided it was time to call things off. This is an important detail because he seems to be furious at his GF, despite not taking any steps to rectify the situation. It’s not like she has the responsibility to make them stay. At that point, canceling was just a formality.

To cut him some slack, having to work on your birthday is terrible, having to work extra is even worse. The one thing you are looking forward to is the party, which you are perhaps forced to miss due to circumstances. Then you arrive late, and it’s over. It’s not hard to see how this would make someone grouchy. That being said, everyone has bad days, taking it out like this on your partner is poor behavior.

However, because he seems to have not taken any steps to help himself, or anyone else, it’s hard to sympathize. He agrees to do the work, he is late and he gives zero updates. Being late to your own birthday party, organized by your partner, is normally a bit embarrassing, but if there was some major problem at work or you have a terrible manager, most people would be understanding.

Instead, he is mad at the person who did their best to organize the whole thing in the first place. The details are scarce, but the fight must have been significant enough for him to leave the house. Interestingly, he went to stay with his mom and not one of the many friends who presumably wanted to see him at his birthday. Most likely, they actually knew the circumstances of the fight and would have been a lot less sympathetic to his complaints.