There’s nothing like the butterflies you feel when going on a date with someone new. You might have a hundred thoughts racing through your head all at once: Did I choose the right shoes? Should I have styled my hair differently? Did I pick a cool enough coffee shop for us to meet up at?
But all of the nerves can simply melt away when you realize you’ve met someone that you genuinely love spending time with. And if you don’t, well, you can always cancel the date and try to salvage what’s left of your day. Below, you’ll find a story that one man recently shared on Reddit after attempting to go on a second date with a woman he thought he liked, as well as conversations with the man who shared this post and Dating Coach Amie Leadingham.
After hitting it off with this woman on their first date, this man was excited to go on a second one
Image credits: Yunus Tuğ / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
But he noticed something that bothered him as soon as he picked her up
Image credits: Ron Lach / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: iDontUnitTest1
"I found it almost a relief that people saw the frustration in my experience and shared sympathy"
To find out more about this situation, we reached out to the Reddit user who shared this post, iDontUnitTest1. He was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and explain what inspired him to tell this story.
"I, like many people, have been finding modern dating to be a challenge. I wanted to share this story to let others know that they aren't the only ones going through a hard time," the author says. "I wanted the story to sound almost comedic in the title to ease in anyone who would read it, but share a real-life experience of what modern dating actually can be like. It wasn't exactly a 'heart-break' story, which is why I chose 'r/mildlyinfuriating'."
Unfortunately, the OP says this isn't the first time he's had an experience like this on a date. "[A few years ago], I was going to meet a woman at the mall, and she brought her guy best friend. They both walked together in front of me, completely disregarding my presence. I made a 180 and left the mall immediately and went to a party with some friends later that night," iDontUnitTest1 shared.
We were also curious what happened when he asked his recent date to get out of the car. "The woman's response was pure silence. She simply got out. She had a still face, showing no emotion," he revealed.
"It's important to not feel discouraged because you were rejected or mistreated"
So what have the author's experiences been like using dating apps? "I find the challenge in dating apps is simply getting to the stage of meeting the person. After meeting them, I usually make a good impression to open the door to getting to know each other," he shared. "Every one is different, and every one moves at their own pace. I have had [anything from] multi-year relationships to one night stands on these apps (Tinder, Hinge, Facebook Dating, etc). I have also had conversations simply die out after one message."
The author also said he found the replies to his post surprising. "I thought it would be downvoted heavily due to the modern dating culture. I found it almost a relief that people saw the frustration in my experience and shared sympathy," he told Bored Panda. "A handful of replies did show zero regard over me and chose the woman's side. I can understand their perspective, but not necessarily agree with them. The humorous title did invite a lot of funny comments, which made me laugh."
Thankfully, this experience hasn't turned the OP off of online dating completely. "I plan to go on more dates on Hinge. Casting a wide net in the dating pool (dating apps AND cold approaches) has made my life easier in terms of finding a potential long-term partner more frequently," he explained.
Finally, iDontUnitTest1 shared some wise words for anyone else in the dating scene. "Even before dating apps, you couldn't just get any person you wanted. You had to improve yourself and always put your best foot forward. You had to try. It's important to not feel discouraged because you were rejected or mistreated. It's also just as important to not ignore red flags."
Image credits: Juan Pablo Serrano / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Most of us need to date at least seven people before finding "the one"
Some people say that dating is a numbers game. The more people you meet, the closer you’ll be to finding “the one.” And the more dates you go on, the better you’ll get at figuring out exactly what you’re looking for. After all, you have to put yourself out there! According to one study, men tend to need eight relationships before finding their perfect match, while women usually need to date seven people first.
Everyone also tends to suffer through four disastrous dates and at least two online dates before finding their soulmate. Women usually kiss around 15 people before settling down, while men often kiss 16. And almost everyone will be stood up at least once, cheated on at least once and have their heart broken twice before finding the love of their life.
So if we’re supposed to have all of these experiences before finding the person we’re meant to be with, wouldn’t it make sense to ensure that some of your dating history overlaps? After all, if you’re not in an established relationship, is there anything wrong with seeing multiple people at the same time?
We were lucky enough to get in touch with Amie Leadingham, aka Amie the Dating Coach, to hear her thoughts on this topic. "It's perfectly normal to see multiple people at once; I recommend it as it helps you identify the qualities you want in a partner and the ones you don't want," she told Bored Panda.
Image credits: Jep Gambardella / Pexels (not the actual photo)
"You have to be considerate, respectful, and empathetic to the other person"
Amie also doesn't think it's necessary to have a conversation about this unless someone asks. "Let them know you're meeting different people to understand what you want in a partner, but emphasize that these are casual dates focused on getting to know each other - not intimate relationships," she explained. "This approach helps identify compatible traits for a potential long-term relationship."
The dating coach also says that going on back-to-back dates on the same day is fine - with some caveats. "In fact, I used to do this; it helps save time as each date requires you to get the date ready," Amie noted. "However, I would space it out for a few hours apart. You have to be considerate, respectful, and empathetic to the other person. Schedule dates on the same day a few hours apart at different locations while keeping them separate and respecting everyone's privacy."
"Of course, these are casual dates on which you have not been intimate with the person," she clarified. "It's just the 'getting to know you phase.'"
But in this case, Amie says this man made the right choice by canceling his date. "No one should ever tolerate disrespect, especially in the early stages of dating," she shared. "People's actions set the tone for the type of relationship you will have in the future. It's important to say no to what you don't want to make room for what you do want."
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this man was right to immediately cancel his date? Feel free to weigh in. Then, if you’d like to check out another Bored Panda piece discussing dating drama, we recommend reading this article next!
Readers weighed in on the situation, and some even shared their own stories of frustrating dating experiences
