Pregnancy can be an extremely beautiful yet overwhelming experience. Along with all of the joy and excitement can come excruciating physical pain and worries about the future. Because of this, everyone in the expecting mom’s life should do all they can to keep her calm and content.
But for some reason, mothers-in-law tend to have trouble respecting boundaries. One soon-to-be mom recently reached out to Reddit for advice after her husband’s mother had a meltdown over baby details. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.
This woman has always had a healthy relationship with her mother-in-law
Image credits: Stiven Rivera / Pexels (not the actual photo)
But since she announced her pregnancy, her husband's mother has become way too involved
Image credits: Ron Lach / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Teona Swift / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: margeart
Later, the author responded to several readers and revealed more details about her situation
Image credits: Matilda Wormwood / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Pregnancy can come with its fair amount of stress without any family members adding to it
Expecting moms are often told that they’ve got that “pregnancy glow.” Their skin is dewier, they’re excited about the new family member who’s on the way, and they are being treated kindly by everyone around them. But not every woman finds pregnancy to be such a magical time. It can also come with its fair share of physical discomfort and stress.
According to March of Dimes, stress during pregnancy is often caused by morning sickness, aches and pains, hormonal changes, worries about labor and birth, worries about how to take care of the baby, and fears about having enough support once the baby arrives.
Unfortunately, whatever a pregnant woman is stressed about prior to getting pregnant as it is at any other time. So negative life events, catastrophic events, long-lasting stress, depression, and anxiety can make pregnancy more difficult as well.
While it may not be easy, experts recommend that expecting mothers try to keep their stress levels as low as possible during pregnancy. Medical News Today reports that high stress levels can cause high blood pressure, which increases a woman’s risk of going into preterm labor or having a baby with a low birth weight.
At the same time, stress can exacerbate issues with the placenta and increase cortisol levels in the fetus, which may increase the risk of developmental issues. In fact, prenatal stress or anxiety can impact development from childhood to adolescence.
Some experts even suggest that children are at a higher risk of developing an anxiety disorder if their mother had one during pregnancy, but Medical News Today notes that this topic requires more research.
Due to these potential risks, mothers are advised to keep their stress levels to a minimum. And everyone else in their life should help them do the same, including their mother-in-law.
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
During pregnancy, it can be helpful for new moms to give their mother-in-law something to focus her energy on
According to Geoffrey Greif, co-author of In-law Relationships: Mothers, Daughters, Fathers, and Sons, only 15% of mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationships are truly troubled. But only 50% of mothers-in-law strongly agreed that they actually trust their daughter-in-law, and only 23% of the younger women felt the same about their spouse’s mom.
As much as a woman might not be thrilled about her mother-in-law being involved in her pregnancy, she might have to accept that it won’t be easy to keep her away. So instead of trying to fight her involvement, BabyMed recommends providing her with a specific job to keep her busy.
First, it might be crucial to set some boundaries. Create space, and make it clear when and where she is welcome (and when/where she isn’t). Be honest about your feelings, and don’t let her intrude on your pregnancy. After all, this is something you may only get to experience once in your life. Do it the way that you want to.
Once the ground rules have been set, you might want to allow your mother-in-law to spoil the baby (or you) a bit. Give her something to accomplish, such as planning the baby shower, baby-proofing the house, preparing meals for postpartum, etc. If she wants to be helpful, let her.
Meanwhile, try to be patient with your mother-in-law, as difficult as it may be. If things really start to go south, you can always make your spouse the single point of contact between her and the baby.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this expecting mother was being reasonable, or do you think she could have been more understanding? Feel free to weigh in, and then you can find another Bored Panda article discussing baby drama right here.
Many readers took the author's side, noting that her mother-in-law was way out of line
However, some readers thought that both moms could have behaved more maturely
Then, the author provided another brief response to all of the feedback she had received
Image credits: Vlada Karpovich / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: margeart
Exhausted by family or in-law drama like this one? Visit our Family Dynamics Hub for expert-backed guides on toxic relatives, parenting styles, and personal boundaries.