Sometimes, it’s hard to spot a toxic relationship when your partner is really good at hiding their true colors. They may come across as charming and completely normal to everyone around them.
But the power of the internet shouldn’t be underestimated when it comes to uncovering messy relationship dynamics.
A woman recently shared online that she was receiving cruel and deeply personal text messages from her husband’s phone number. But the strange part was that her husband insisted he had nothing to do with them.
After getting some input from netizens and digging deeper, the woman eventually discovered a huge secret along with signs of emotional manipulation.
A woman started receiving rude text messages from her husband's phone number
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But her husband kept denying that he was sending the messages
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
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Image credits: kaboompics / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Apprehensive-Yak9364
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Emotional manipulation and gaslighting are some of the biggest red flags
This story is quite layered, but it has all the makings of psychological manipulation — the kind that slowly makes the target question their own reality.
It wasn’t just about infidelity. It was the mind games that went on for months — played by both the woman’s husband and his coworker.
Gaslighting is actually “a highly calculating form of manipulation — which involves the destabilization — of one individual by another over a protracted period of time,” says Monica Vermani, a Canada-based clinical psychologist and author.
“Most commonly, gaslighting — also referred to as coercive control — is carried out by someone in a position of trust who is in close contact with the target. It is a complex and usually deliberate means of intentionally controlling an individual, which is carried out over an extended period of time,” she adds.
When someone gaslights another person, they slowly mess with their sense of reality by denying things and twisting facts. They act like the other person is overreacting until the victim starts wondering if their judgment is off.
It also conveniently lets the perpetrator dodge blame and avoid taking responsibility for what they’ve done.
Whether the husband in this case was deliberately gaslighting her or simply lying to cover up an affair is still open to interpretation.
But the woman was left confused and in emotional distress.
Such people often “intentionally lie and deceive to confuse their target, or deny their own lies or their target’s truth, even in the face of evidence to the contrary,” Vermani explains.
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Certain personality traits can make it difficult to recognize a toxic relationship
While we can’t confirm the wife’s claim that her husband is a “psychopath,” we did some digging on certain behaviors linked to it.
A study exploring psychopathic traits in romantic relationships found that individuals who scored higher on the Psychopathy Checklist-Revised were more likely to engage in manipulative behavior, show limited empathy, and display superficial charm.
These traits were also linked with frequent dishonesty and difficulties maintaining healthy, long-term partnerships.
Such people can be surprisingly good at appearing likable, which is why they’re often hard to spot, say experts.
Emotional manipulation by someone close to you can significantly affect your emotional and psychological well-being
A recent survey found that nearly half of all women (48.4%) and men (48.8%) in the US have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
Meanwhile, infidelity, as awful as it can be, also remains surprisingly common. Roughly 71% of people in the US admitted they have cheated on a partner. For some, any bonding that makes your partner unhappy can be considered cheating, including emotional affairs.
A survey also revealed that 31% of affairs happen with coworkers.
Another survey found that nearly 88% of divorced couples said infidelity played a major role in the end of their relationship.
Studies also show that almost 45% of adults who experienced a partner’s infidelity showed symptoms similar to those of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
One of the best ways to deal with manipulation and infidelity is seeking counseling or therapy. Professional help goes a long way, especially if the situation affects you for a long time.
If you’re not sure that you want to break up with your partner after all this, experts say couples counseling is the way to go.
The woman took some people's advice and suggestions
Many people came forward to support her and help her figure out the situation
The woman came back with an update, saying she followed some people's advice
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In another update, she spilled a huge secret she uncovered about her husband
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Image credits: kaboompics / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: kaboompics / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Apprehensive-Yak9364
Several people expressed outrage against the husband
