Partner vs friends: a dilemma some couples need to face sooner or later in their relationships. A 2018 study found that couples where a partner didn't like at least one of their significant other's friends were two times more likely to get a divorce. So, it turns out friends can have a significant influence on who we end up with.
This woman had enough of her boyfriend's friends when he bought one of his female BFFs red lingerie as a prank. What's worse, he even blamed her for not being open-minded. Not sure what to think, the girlfriend checked in with netizens, asking if she was too uptight in this situation.
The woman also agreed to have a chat with Bored Panda. She told us how posting her story online helped her see the situation more clearly. She also elaborated on the update she posted a few days after her original post. Read our conversation with u/Conscious-Jicama2133 and her update below!
Red lingerie is usually a gift for romantic partners, not platonic friends
Image credits: Bruno Mendes / pexels (not the actual photo)
This BF expected his GF to be cool with the fact that he 'pranked' his best friend with lingerie, but she wasn't, unfortunately
Image credits: Budgeron Bach / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image source: Conscious-Jicama2133
The author decided to go through with the breakup, during which the boyfriend decided to insult her further
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo)
Three days after u/Conscious-Jicama2133 posted the original story, she came back with an update. In it, she detailed how the input from many netizens was "eye-opening." Although she admitted that her boyfriend was kind and loving before this whole fiasco, this particular situation with 'Claire' resulted in their breakup.
Granted, the boyfriend reached out to u/Conscious-Jicama2133 to meet. But, when they started talking, he still blamed her. "He said that he understood where I was coming from. But I was always too uptight to understand that friendship is friendship," the Redditor wrote.
"He and Claire had known each other for years before I came into the picture, and I cannot expect him to just ruin their dynamic." The boyfriend and 'Claire' also blamed the author for making them feel like cheaters and homewreckers.
The guy also brought up one of his girlfriend's biggest insecurities: appearing boring. "He thought it was better I find someone like me, who thought the idea of a fun night was junk food and a movie indoors," the netizen added.
The reaction to the breakup from the guy's friends was also icky at best. One friend, Kyle, apparently told u/Conscious-Jicama2133 that he was sad the pair had broken up. "But he could understand that some women can't handle female best friends, especially if they look like Claire," the Redditor wrote.
This did a number on the author and her self-esteem. She ended her post by saying she feels extremely insecure about herself. Luckily, many commenters showed her support, with one saying: "You did dodge a bullet."
The woman is now happy, more so after the boyfriend showed his true colors later
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / pexels (not the actual photo)
We reached out to u/Conscious-Jicama2133 via Reddit, and she kindly agreed to tell us how she's currently doing. "I'm good now, I guess," she wrote in a message. "I have spent a bit of time thinking these past couple of days and am mostly mad at myself for letting others, especially my ex, treat me like that."
She says she and those close to her cut all contact with the ex-boyfriend and his friends. In fact, they even blocked them all. "No one from my side stalks or sees his or Claire's social media," the Redditor adds.
This was prompted by a less-than-classy post the ex made on Instagram. u/Conscious-Jicama2133 tells us he wrote, "Girls will come and go, but friendship is for life." These words cleared all her doubts. "Needless to say, it looks like I finally got the ick," she told us.
The Redditor says that the support and comments she got from other Redditors really helped. "I realize now that I was kind of being gaslighted? Hearing from so many strangers [about] how what was happening to me was not normal was eye-opening and certainly needed," she now believes.
When it comes to sharing advice with people who might be going through something similar, u/Conscious-Jicama2133 isn't quick to impart any sort of lesson. She did, however, learn the hard way about the importance of setting boundaries. "Please don't let people trample over your boundaries. If they don't respect you, then leave."
A person shared a similar story, and the ending wasn't a platonic friendship
Many people showed support for the girlfriend, calling out the boyfriend's weird behavior
Others agreed with the boyfriend and his friends, saying it was just a harmless prank
