Blended family setups often come with challenges. Because it involves merging parenting styles, managing a child’s loyalty conflicts, and establishing new traditions, among other things, some relationship dynamics end up strained.
For this woman, however, things got out of hand. The root of her problem came from her spiteful stepdaughter, whom she believed needed therapy. The conflict reached its boiling point when her husband refused to have his daughter seek treatment, as she also dealt with the incessant vilification from her in-laws.
The woman had no choice but to take drastic measures, but she wonders whether she was wrong to do so.
A woman opened up about her struggles with her stepdaughter
Image credits: Arina Krasnikova / Pexels (not the actual photo)
According to her, their relationship had always been complicated
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
As the stepdaughter’s behavior grew hostile, the author tried to get her into therapy
Image credits: Alena Darmel / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Her husband refused the treatment option, while her in-laws vilified her
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Fed up, the woman left and filed for divorce
Image credits: Katiroytr
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Having their parents separate is one of the heaviest burdens a child can carry
The woman recognized that her stepdaughter needed help in dealing with the pain she was likely carrying from losing her mom, which is why she recommended therapy. The hurt she felt may have manifested in her rage toward her dad’s new wife.
According to therapist and Utah State University professor, Dr. Jonathan Swinton, blending new families can be heavy on the children.
“The greatest struggle children face is dealing with the loss of the family they once had or hoped to have, and finding ways of maintaining loyalties in the new family setup,” Dr. Swintion said, adding that the child may love both parents but have trouble vocalizing it.
Couple relationships may also be affected, according to Dr. Swinton, particularly in aligning realities. In the story’s case, the couple disagreed on therapy for a child, which appeared to be necessary.
Blending families takes time. According to licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Sheryl Ziegler, the process may take up to five years. She urges exercising patience and understanding, while also preparing for the inevitable relationship changes.
"Look at blending a family as a long-term goal rather than a quick fix," Dr. Ziegler wrote in an article for Medium, noting that divorce rates increase for people who are getting married the second time around.
However, it had been a difficult few years for the woman, who not only endured her stepdaughter’s hostility but also her in-laws' constant criticism. At that point, walking away was the only option for her to protect her peace, something she also deserves.
Many people sided with her
However, a few people thought all three were at fault
