From “secretly going through your partner’s phone” comes a new questionable 21st-century relationship habit: secretly reading their ChatGPT search history.
A woman named Lindsey Hall recently revealed that she ended her relationship after discovering her boyfriend’s questions for the AI chatbot.
On her Substack, Lindsey explained that she stumbled across the heartbreaking conversation after borrowing her now ex-boyfriend's laptop when her phone ran out of battery.
Highlights
- Lindsey Hall found her boyfriend’s secret conversation with ChatGPT in which he discussed their relationship.
- The conversation revealed her boyfriend had deep questions about his love for her and about many aspects of her past and present life.
- Lindsey couldn’t resist opening the heartbreaking chat, whose tab was titled “Relationship Issues and Uncertainty.”
Image credits: Instagram / lindseyhallwrites
“I invaded his privacy, I never should’ve read what I read,” she admitted. “The man is allowed to share private thoughts with a robot he never intended for me to see.
“But I dare you to come across your partner’s ChatGPT, read those words, and not to unravel all moral senses,” Lindsey wrote, addressing those who question her for clicking on the “Relationship Issues and Uncertainty” tab.
Her ex’s conversations with the chatbot revealed he had been questioning his feelings toward Lindsey and was unsure about many aspects of her life.
Image credits: Instagram / lindseyhallwrites
At first, she thought the conversations would express doubts about being with her because of her cats.
“Three cats had been an issue from the start. When we met, I had one. But by the time we actually went on a first date, I had acquired two more. So I was already mentally prepared to roll my eyes at his usual concerns.”
She saw the chat, titled “Relationship Issues and Uncertainty,” while using his laptop after her phone ran out of battery
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Her concerns quickly grew when she opened the tab and read ChatGPT’s advice, which was the last message of the conversation: “From what you’re sharing, you should consider ending the relationship.”
Lindsey then scrolled up to the beginning. Her then-partner had asked the chatbot, “Should I be in love after 3.5 months?”
By the time she read the conversation, they had been dating for five months. She had visited his country and he had introduced her to his family.
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Image credits: Instagram / lindseyhallwrites
She then uncovered different messages in which her ex laid out his doubts about her lifestyle, online writing, her cats, and even her ED history.
“Well the cats definitely, and then there’s the whole attraction thing,” one message read.
Lindsey admitted that the revelations quickly made her “ego evaporate,” explaining that the man’s love language “was rooted in physical affection,” which had made her feel certain his feelings were sincere.
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In her article, she explained that she had to re-read the message because it didn’t match the man she had been sharing a bed with for months.
While Lindsey was reading the ChatGPT conversation, her boyfriend was fast asleep just inches away from her.
“A few lines later came the body of it. I was too petite. Too frail-looking getting out of the shower he noticed once. In the beginning my hair looked damaged,” she wrote.
"My [ED] history made him worry what would happen if I relapsed and he lost all attraction.”
Image credits: Instagram / lindseyhallwrites
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Still, the part that upset her the most was not what he thought about her physical appearance, but about her personality and achievements.
“I’m just not proud of her,” he told the chatbot.
Comparing the ChatGPT conversation to a personal diary, Lindsey concluded that reading the exchange with the AI chatbot was more difficult, as it was “predisposed to agree” with her ex and make his “cruel” thoughts sound reasonable.
Image credits: Instagram / lindseyhallwrites
After she had read all the conversations, she turned to look at the man sleeping beside her and left his house.
“In the privacy of his own thoughts, I was not being held in the warm and forgiving light I had imagined. I was not someone he adored. I was a set of liabilities. A ruminating amount of concerns,” Lindsey penned.
“An accumulation of negative variables to be sorted and weighed and dissected through… and alarmingly easy to summarize (or so it felt).”
Lindsey gathered her clothes and the charger she had left at his house and left quietly at 1 a.m.
The man texted her and then went to her house after she didn’t respond.
Lindsey opened the door and told him to “Get the f**k out of here.”
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The woman admitted that it was “unsettling” to see him crying. However, the pity turned into fury again when she remembered the most heartbreaking line.
She then revealed to him that she had read his ChatGPT conversation, and he looked “stricken, horrified” and “instantly ashamed.”
The man began crying and apologizing, explaining that the conversation was the result of relationship anxiety. He reassured her that he didn’t want to lose her and that he was truly sorry.
As Lindsey explained, she decided to give him another chance and the two dated for a few more months. Still, she could never forget the unfiltered thoughts about her that he had shared with the chatbot.
Toward the end of the piece, Lindsey shared that she has forgiven her ex and doesn’t see him as a villain.
Image credits: Instagram / lindseyhallwrites
She also said that doubts and flaws are part of every person—and therefore part of relationships—but she wants to feel chosen in spite of them, rather than date someone who has to convince himself that he loves her.
“The problem was not that he had doubts, or which I suspect most relationships do. The problem was that unfortunately I saw them in their raw form, stripped of tact and timing and love’s softening language,” Lindsey wrote.
“Truthfully, we were probably just not right for each other and it simply bled out into this situation.”
People shared their thoughts on Lindsey’s breakup story and reflected on the use of ChatGPT for relationships
