One of the most awkward things you’ll ever have to discuss with your pals is money. The irony is that even though cash is a fundamental part of life, people tend to be quite embarrassed when they have to tackle any spending-related issues. This can lead to further problems with your budget if you don’t address them.
In an online post on Mumsnet, one woman asked for advice about handling a sensitive issue within her social circle. With rising food costs, she revealed how she is beyond fed up with her larger friends ordering more food when they dine out, meaning that splitting the bill is becoming even more of a burden. Scroll down for the rundown about what’s been happening and the advice the net had to share with the distraught woman.
Money is a very sensitive issue to bring up at the dinner table. But what do you do when your social circle keeps ordering more than you and insists on splitting the bill evenly?
Image credits: patty-photo/Freepik (not the actual photo)
One woman begged the internet for advice after opening up about her situation with her friends, who have much bigger appetites
Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Foodie41
Boundaries are fundamental in healthy relationships. If you want your friends to respect you, you need to stand up for yourself in a firm but diplomatic way
Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)
It’s very likely that at some point in time, you’ve found yourself in bizarre situations when you’re paying an unfair amount of money while dining out with your family, friends, or colleagues.
Maybe a handful of people are ordering way more than the rest of the group and ask to split the bill evenly. Maybe someone keeps choosing pricier places to eat at that are out of your price range.
The thing is, if you want your boundaries to be respected, then you have to make them clear and then enforce them. You can’t expect others to be mind readers… even if some people could stand to develop a bit more self-awareness.
And you don’t have to be frustrated, anxious, or hostile when you broach the subject of splitting the bill, either. You can be super friendly and diplomatic when you inform your pals that you’ll be paying for what you order from now on.
You don’t have to give an excuse if you don’t want to. But you can always be honest about the fact that you’re really watching your spending or focusing on your budget these days.
You don’t have to drag your friends’ eating habits into the discussion at all. It’s probably a mistake if you do because they’ll either get defensive and deny that they’re the problem, or they’ll attack you for being insensitive.
In the modern world, with so many methods of payment, it's incredibly easy to split the bill among yourselves in a fair way
Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)
Now, if the problem were slightly different, say, if your ‘friends’ keep asking you to pay for them when you get together because they keep ‘forgetting their wallet,’ then it’s not so simple.
Then, you’ll have to ask them to repay what they owe you while also having a good, long think about the quality of that relationship. You might want to spend less time with people who intentionally take advantage of your generosity.
At the end of the day, though, there’s really no excuse not to pay for what you order or not repay your friends what you owe them.
You’ve got access to cash, credit and debit cards, online banking, payment apps on your phone, etc., and it’s easier now than ever to instantly make a transfer.
And it’s not like splitting the bill based on who ordered what is so hard.
All you need is some envelope mathematics or the calculator on your phone. Either split the bill as needed, or let one person pay, and everyone can repay them what they owe instantly.
Don't just think about what's fair to you, though. You also need to respect your server's time so they're not stuck handling your chaotic calculations
Image credits: undefinedstock/Freepik (not the actual photo)
But this becomes an issue if you dump all of that responsibility for calculating things fairly on your server. According to Food & Wine, you should tell your server upfront that there will be multiple checks.
If you want a bill split according to what you're ordering, it's doable, but always let the server know from the start so they can set themselves up for a smoother cash-out experience. “If there are a lot of checks and payments, we can get mixed up and by the time we find a manager to undo the charge and fix mistakes, a lot of time has been consumed,” Philadelphia restaurant industry veteran Varah LK Kappatos told the magazine.
What’s more, considering the size of alcoholic drinks, you shouldn’t be making your non-drinking friends pay for them.
On top of that, you should not be splitting the bill more than four ways. “It is cumbersome, and mistakes are more likely to be made by both sides when they need to handle that many credit cards, payments, etc. I'll never forget having people hand me a stack of credit cards and having only that tiny table under the Aloha, trying to find somewhere to put them all and keep track of where I am on the list and whose credit card is whose, while other servers are glaring at me because they have orders to put in,” Kappatos said.
And you shouldn’t force your server to pick who at the table has to pay for the bill. It’s up to you to decide as a group. Figure it out yourselves!
“There are so many conveniences between cash, Venmo, Zelle, CashApp—people should be able to split the bill among themselves without involving the server. Splitting checks is time-consuming.”
But what do you think, Pandas? How would you handle a situation where you’re paying more because your friends keep ordering more than you? Have you ever had a disagreement with your friends over how to split the bill? Let us know how you deal with restaurant bills in the comments at the bottom of this post.
Lots of readers pitched in with their perspectives. Here's the advice they had for the author
Some internet users called the woman out for supposedly fat-shaming her friends
Unfortunately, situations like this one aren't that rare. Some folks shared their personal experiences with this
