“Who Raised You?”: Future MIL Steps In To Clap Back At Son’s Insults Toward Fiancé, Goes Viral

They say you don't just marry a person; you marry into a family. So TikToker Keely Grace Gaffney decided to learn more about her future in-laws.

During the holidays, she and her fiancé orchestrated a situation at the table where he started throwing rude comments at her in an attempt to see what his mother's reaction would be and whose side she would take.

Keely secretly recorded the exchange, and the outcome gave her valuable insight into her future family dynamics. Continue scrolling to check out the video and don't miss our conversation with social psychologist Dr. Susan Newman.

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To learn more about these kinds of relationships, we got in touch with Susan Newman, Ph.D., social psychologist, a regular contributor to Psychology Today, and author of such books as Under One Roof Again: All Grown Up And (Re)Learning To Live Together Happily and The Book of No: 365 Ways to Say it and Mean it—and Stop People-Pleasing Forever.

"Your in-laws, whether you like them or not, can be the glue of your family," Newman told Bored Panda. "When the relationships are warm, they thrive. In families that means having people you love, trust, and can rely on. You look forward to get-togethers and holiday celebrations. It's important to realize that how you treat your in-laws (and they treat you) and parents set an example for any children in the family—and models how you would like your children to treat you decades from now."

"That said, keeping difficulties at bay can be super tricky," she added. "One off-putting comment or action can upset one or the other for a long time, creating unpleasant tensions and limited access to a son or daughter or to a mother or father."

The dynamic between a mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law can be especially tricky.

Terri Apter, a psychologist who conducted decades of research on the subject, which she summed up in the book What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In-Laws, found that 60% of women admitted the relationship with their female in-law has caused them long-term unhappiness and stress. Two-thirds of daughters-in-law believed that their husband's mother frequently exhibited jealous, maternal love toward their son. (For context, while 75% of couples reported having problems with an in-law, only 15% of mother-in-law/son-in-law relationships were described as tense.)

While every situation can have its own nuance, Dr. Susan Newman said this is "primarily because a daughter-in-law is trying to show she's a capable adult and a mother-in-law may be trying to maintain control and offer advice (frequently unwanted)."

"Much trial and error may occur because they do not know each other well since they did not live together and are unaware of quirks or what might annoy, hurt or bother the other," the social psychologist added. "As the years go by, mothers-in-law and their sons' wives ideally find a happy medium… Or better, become allies supporting each other."

So, it's really awesome to see that Keely and Gail have each other's backs.

Keely told People that, even though she and Nash had met two years ago and got engaged just over a year later, this was only her second time meeting his parents in person, as they live out of state.

However, she said that she and his mom Gail are "very close," adding, "We text and call all the time."

The bride-to-be said Gail was "very relieved" when she found out that the whole thing was just a prank.

Quite a few people who have viewed the video have questioned the ethics behind testing your relative like that and filming the whole thing without their consent. A few even called it manipulative. But Keely said, "We're all very sarcastic. Like, the whole family is filled with jokes, so it was easy to brush off after that."

According to her, this wasn't the first time she and Nash pulled this particular trick as well—they did the same thing to her own mother for a video she posted to TikTok in November.

"Her reaction was very reactive, and it kinda got a lot of hate comments," Keely said about the original video featuring her mom. "She took my side and a lot of the comments were disagreeing, [saying] that she shouldn't get involved in the relationship."

"It triggered a lot of comments. This [more recent one] had a lot more positive comments, so we were excited to see that," she added.

Ultimately, Dr. Newman said, as more and more generations in a family get together, problems and differences will arise, so "it's wise to find ways to smooth out the rough spots and keep harmony."