Your wedding day is supposed to be one of the most beautiful and memorable moments of your life. However, things that are out of your control can still disrupt it — like having someone out of touch with reality as your boss.
Content creator Ben Askins is on a mission to set new standards for business, careers, and management. Recently, he was contacted by a woman who got fired just half an hour after her ceremony.
As he got more and more familiar with her story, Ben couldn't help but share it with his audience. Hopefully, it will remind everyone that no matter on which step of the ladder you stand, the workplace demands respect, compassion, and basic human decency.
If bad management was an Olympic sport, this woman's boss would be among the medalists
Image credits: Анна Хазова / pexels (not the actual photo)
Hello, hello and welcome to the Ben Askins show. I'm here with Amanda. Amanda, please do tell me your story.
I got married last week on Wednesday in Cyprus. And on my wedding day, half an hour after the ceremony, I got a text from my boss on WhatsApp to let me know I had been fired.
You're fired on your wedding day?
Yeah. And she started the message with "I hope your wedding went well. And that you had a nice time away."
No, she knew as well? So it wasn't like, "oh my god, that was just the worst timing ever." She actually knew it was your wedding day?
Image credits: Ben Askins
Oh my god. I'm so sorry. That's... I mean, I just don't know what to say to it. Because it's one of the worst things I've ever heard because it's meant to be one of the best, most amazing days ever. And they've done that. So what happened?
I didn't keep my phone on me at all during the wedding. And it wasn't until I was on my last couple of drinks. I sat down I thought I've got a lot of well wishes to go through. And the first thing I noticed that I was blocked and removed from all the WhatsApp groups. I was like, what's going on here? And then I saw her message and all my friends are sat around me and I just gasped. So then, of course, the next thing you do is go check your emails.
On your wedding day? On your wedding evening? And this happened last week?
Yeah, last week, on Wednesday.
I'm so sorry, Amanda.
It's okay.
That's not okay. It's not even remotely. Okay.
"I hope your wedding went well, you had a good time today. This email is to inform you that your employment will be terminated effective the 20th of May, 2024. Your employment has been terminated as we, unfortunately, feel your performance doesn't meet the expectations that we require for the role. You're entitled to one week's notice. We will not require for you to work during the notice period. Your final payment will be made on the 24th. We wish you all the best in the future."
How long have you been at the company?
Four months. So, legally, they could terminate my employment at any point for any reason. I wished that I checked this company's reviews on Glassdoor because one of the reviews said 'run'. And during my time there, they fired three people out of the blue. All within their probation period.
I should explain to everyone. When you join a company, there's often a period of time, which is called your probation period. And it can be 3, 4, 6 months, depends on the business. But basically, they sort of can get rid of you or fire you very quickly with no real notice period, it's often only a week or so. Which sounds like something they do a lot. I mean, they fired three people in their notice period plus you, that's just wild.
I wasn't gonna let it go. What they did, I was really angry at them.
You have every right to be absolutely livid with them. So your probation period. Was it like coming to an end of probation and they had to sort of get it done? Do you think that was the logic?
I think it was a bit of a coward's way out of doing it. They had the opportunity to do it in person, everyone was let go in person except for me. They hired someone onto our team, which thinking about it now, I think was just my replacement the whole time. So the entire team are all young, single women, no children, no marriage, anything like that. And they would express, you know, 'don't get married, it's a terrible idea'. And they actually asked me if I was planning on having children a couple of weeks before my holiday as well. Regrettably, I said yes. So this person that they hired, she was eight years younger than me, she wore makeup like the other girls did, dressed a lot nicer. To be fair, I didn't care what I looked like in the office, it was a casual-dress office. And she was then due to start on the first day I was not in for my holiday. So I think in my kind of theory, it's like great, we've got a great team. We get along a lot better with this person. We don't need it now.
Because in the email, they mentioned sort of "performance." Did they say anything to you up until then? Did you have any idea that there were areas they weren't happy with? And again, just to be clear, I couldn't excuse them less, I'm just trying to even remotely understand how they arrived at thinking this was an okay thing to do.
Well, the first thing we did was query every point they gave off. It was loads of really little things, like not answering emails quickly enough, a couple of other things they said about not booking things out. We booked shipments out on time, there was a system issue two weeks before, which meant it couldn't be done properly. I volunteered to do it all myself manually, and they were fine with it. I had no indication whatsoever of these performance issues.
Image credits: Ben Askins
Basically, what's happened is they've scrambled around to find anything that they could use to justify this. Genuinely, I don't use this word very often, 'evil decision'. But what they've done is utterly despicable. I can't believe it.
The first thing we did was ask for a subject access request because I wanted any emails mentioned in my name, my personal data, even a health and safety form I filled out stating I had a pain condition. And their reply to that is that they've refused at this point.
Which is not allowed.
Image credits: Marek Levak / pexels (not the actual photo)
They're saying that all my personal data will be deleted, and there are no emails, no performance reviews, nothing in writing about me. So I did reply that there is because I signed a form saying this, and they've ignored it. After querying all of the things that were horrible and wrong, I noted a few things that were really inappropriate in the office and the director decided to jump in and say, "You're making disturbing allegations. The reasons that have been laid out, we're not doing anything. Sorry." They didn't even say sorry, just put 'Regards.'
Wow. Oh, my god. How big is this company?
30-35 members of staff. It's a quickly growing business. They supply workplace products.
Have you got support? Going through this process?
The first thing we did was contact ACAS because, of course, they can't give you any biased opinion. One particular thing that they said was, "You've got a potential case for discrimination." It's because I have to have my chair in a certain position to be comfortable, and I was sharing a desk that day, someone came and sat into that desk after me and said, "Oh, who are you? Stephen Hawking?" I just laughed it off. And I noted this in an email to the director. That's actually a really inappropriate thing to say. And he called me a liar.
The fact they were asking you about whether you're planning to have kids and all that sort of thing. There's definitely weight there as well. The culture sounds beyond awful. The fact that so many new joiners are leaving, the fact that they're just essentially inventing stuff. They fired you and they've tried to now reverse the story, and come up with all these sort of random reasons, which are just so obviously completely made up. The fact that they did that on your wedding day is one of the worst things I've ever heard. No one deserves that. Are you okay?
I've kept myself busy.
Okay, if you want, and this is an open offer, but I have a couple of people who can support you, who specialize in these types of situations. If you'd like to speak to one of them, you're very welcome to.
Thank you.
Well, I mean, God, it's the least I can do. The fact that you've gone through this in the last week, when it was meant to be such a great day. The fact that they just ruined it. I think that's the worst. Because obviously, they don't deserve you, this company is awful. I'm sure in the long run, we'll look back and say, "I'm really glad you're not working for those people anymore." But the fact they did that, and they chose that day, and the fact that they included that in both the email and the text is just, I can't get my head around it. It's just, I mean, it's so awful. Who the hell do these people think they are?
Sorry, I know. I'm just getting annoyed now. You've got someone getting married, and you're going, "Great, you know what, we'll let her get married and have her honeymoon, and then we'll talk to her." Like, you know, things happen in business, decisions have to be made, I get all of that. But who the hell do they think they are that they can get away with doing that? It's one of life's great moments, and they've taken that moment away from you. It's just beyond ridiculous. I'd love to interview one of them and just find out exactly what went through their heads.
Image credits: Ben Askins
When I was emailing the director, he mentioned that they take seriously the welfare and wellbeing of all our employees. So in our reply, "The decision to inform me of my termination via WhatsApp on my wedding day is deeply troubling. As you stated, as an organization, we take seriously the welfare and wellbeing of all our employees. The timing and method of my termination contradict the statement, and I would like a detailed explanation of the rationale behind this decision. I requested the clarification from my line manager regarding the criteria for being considered a good fit at the company. This question has not been answered. And I would like to understand more.'"This email was sent three days ago. He's ignoring me now.
Yeah, I just can't get my head around the decision-making here, "Amanda. When she's getting married? Oh, Wednesday. Yeah. Should we send?" The fact that they put a kiss at the end of the text. I just think it's just so remotely unacceptable. So what's your plan now?
I keep making jokes of, "I'm a housewife now, looking for a job." So yeah, that's it. All I've been doing is applying for jobs. I've signed on to job seeker's allowance for the first time in my life. Never been in this position. I've decided not to even put this other job on my CV, because it's a joke.
Look, I know, it's easy for me to say, but you're so much better off not having those people in your life. In the long run, there's no scenario where you not being at that company is not a positive thing for you in every sense of the word. Because anyone who does that does not deserve to have a company and they'll get found out they can't do stuff like this. You can't keep treating people like that and get away with it, especially not a small company.
I'm so sorry. I promise there are a lot of amazing companies who will quite rightly value someone like you. And whatever happens, if there's one thing you take away from my call, do not let what they said to you knock your confidence regards to your ability to do the job. Because people who did that to you on your wedding day are not people you take seriously in regards to any sort of level of intelligence or quality of human being in any sense of the word. So you do not want to be associated with people like that. So whatever happens do not let this experience knock you. They are just an awful company, they will bottom out. There'll be a funny story in five years' time. Glassdoor gets found out eventually. If you've got an awful Glassdoor, you get caught out eventually.
I still need to add my review on to Glassdoor.
Ooh, do. Shall I add one? Send me your CV as well and I'll see if I can help out there. You deserve a lot better than what they did to you, I'm so very sorry.
We invite you to watch the full video below
Personally, Ben Askins believes that managers aren't vile on purpose.
"I would say that most 'bad bosses' don't intend to do as much damage as they do," he told Bored Panda. "However, in this case, the fact that they knew it was her wedding day and still sent her that message, I just can't think how that can be viewed as anything but deliberate."
As we mentioned in our first piece on Ben's series 'The WORST Bosses,' he receives submissions from all sorts of industries. But he hasn't noticed that one is better or worse than the other.
"I would say bad managers are very universal, blue collar or white collar, different countries, different sectors, it is amazing how often the same themes crop up."
That might explain why so many people are unmotivated to make an effort. For example, just 1 in 3 Americans is engaged at work, according to research conducted by Gallup in 2023.
Each percentage point gain or drop in engagement represents approximately 1.6 million full- or part-time employees in the U.S., and trends in employee engagement are significant because they are linked to many performance outcomes in organizations.
When it comes to dealing with toxic managers, Ben acknowledged that there are a few ways to look at your situation but reminded us that you have to prioritize yourself. "You have a few options, asking to move teams is an option, and asking for support from HR is another. Ultimately though, if they are making your life miserable they are just not worth it and I would look for a new job elsewhere."
Surprisingly, some studies suggest that employees end up working longer for toxic bosses than for nontoxic ones.
"People enduring high-stress situations often suffer from emotional exhaustion, robbing them of the energy needed to search for a new situation," Mary Abbajay, a leadership development consultant with over two decades of experience, noted. "It's hard to quit without another opportunity lined up, and it’s hard to line up another opportunity when one feels depleted. Emotional exhaustion also strips people of the ability to envision a more positive experience — and hopelessness ensues."
So as infuriating and ridiculous as this case is, maybe there is a silver lining to it after all.
People were absolutely appalled by the company's actions
Some even shared their own similar experiences
